More On That Fan Fiction Stuff

A major problem with a lot of the better fan fiction out there is dialogue.

See, the thing is, the better stuff has the broad strokes down. The writers understand the characters enough that if they have them change, it's for a reason other than the-story-wouldn't-make-sense-without-the-change thinking. There's a plot, of some sort, or if there isn't the character study is interesting enough that plot doesn't matter.

Then, there's the dialogue. It tends to be stiff and unnatural sounding. It's like the words in the characters' mouths are how the writers think people should speak rather than how people speak.

One of the big things they do is drop contractions. Yes, Data from Star Trek: TNG doesn't (can't?) use contractions, but everyone else on the ship does. People in life tend to drop their contractions for two reasons: 1. It extends the time you can think about what your saying allowing for a better constructed argument. And 2. dropping contractions helps to put emphasis on certain words and makes meaning stronger. English, as it's spoken, is a language that gets slurred, a lot, it's probably where contractions come from in the first place.

The other thing that really jumps out at me is the awkward word choices, like having character saying "fled" instead of "left" or other words or phrases that aren't used much in regular life. If one character chooses to use more archaic (for lack of a better word) or Latinate words, that helps to define a character. Awkwardly phrased dialogue can be used to show a flustered character, if it's used in the proper context. If all the characters speak with that kind of language, it becomes cumbersome and boring and sounds totally false. (Even worse is when it's only the characters using that kind of language and the narration is written very conversational.)

I think that the reason those writers write such poor dialogue is because they aren't listening to what they're writing. I know, that sounds crazy, but there's music in spoken language and, in my opinion, writers need to try and transfer that music to the page so that as people read it they can hear the music in their head. Like music, spoken language changes over time, what sounded natural 100 years ago doesn't necessarily sound natural today. I wish they'd listen to the dialogue they write rather than just read it.

Part of the problem is that I only really notice it when the rest of the writing is strong. Like I wrote above, these writers are decent with a strong sense of character and a reasonable sense of plot. Also, they have basic grammar down. There's the occasional mix-up with homonyms (I'm sure I fucked up some theirs and theres and they'res in this post.), but everything else is strong. And that strength is what makes the stilted dialogue stand out, at least for me.

Since it is fan fiction, the better writers are going to have lots of stories, which is nice. The problem is that these writers, at least so far, don't seem to improve. You can read a hundred thousand words worth of stories and not be able to tell which ones were written earlier and which ones were written later. I'm not sure if these writers don't want to improve or what. It's a shame.

Just Don't

I shrugged into my sweatshirt, zipped it up, and waved good-bye to everyone.
As I turned to leave, the youngest, who can walk, told me to wait.
I stopped.
He hurried over to me, wrapped his arms around one of my legs, and said good-bye.
I hunched over, sort of hugged him back, and said good-bye.
He let go and so did I.
I turned and walked out the door and down the path to my car.
As I climbed in, I didn't feel anything.
I thought I should, but wondered what it should be.
I recognized the moment as touching.
He knows my name. He recognizes me.
I'm not around that much and he's quite young.
He choose to come close to say good-bye.

That River In Egypt

Normally, I'd post this on that other blog, but I can't get to Blogger anymore, so I'll put it here.

From NewScience:

Here's a hypothesis: denial is largely a product of the way normal people think. Most denialists are simply ordinary people doing what they believe is right. If this seems discouraging, take heart. There are good reasons for thinking that denialism can be tackled by condemning it a little less and understanding it a little more.

Different, But The Same

Got this on Monday:

May Revise 2010-2011: Employee Compensation

• Current furlough program scheduled to end 6-30-10.
• Components of 2010-2011 employee compensation savings:
• 5% increase in all employees' monthly pension contribution to CalPERS;
• 5% reduction in all salaries;
• Additional 5% reduction in all salaries in exchange for 1 day/mo. personal leave; and
• 5% departmental salary savings by reducing size of State workforce.
• The first three changes will require collective bargaining and/or statute changes.

Increasing Employees' Pension Contribution

• Increasing the employee's share of pension contributions will help lower the State's costs of providing pension benefits. This change will apply to all retirement categories (misc., safety, peace officer/firefighter, patrol, and industrial).
• Most State employees ("misc" retirement category) will see their monthly CalPERS payroll deduction rise from roughly 5% of salary to 10% of salary.

5% Pay Cut

• Applies to all employees in the Executive Branch, including civil service, non-civil service, and non-elected officers. (Elected officials' salaries are set independently.)
• Pension calculations will be based on this revised (lower) salary level.

Personal Leave

• Salaries will be reduced equal to one day of pay per month (roughly 5%). In return, employees will receive eight hours of personal leave each month.
• This personal leave will have no cash-out value, nor will it adversely affect any benefits such as health or retirement.

Capping the Size of State's Workforce

• Administration previously directed departments to implement plans to reduce their payroll an additional 5% effective 7-1-10.
• Departments may use employee attrition to achieve this savings target. If attrition will be insufficient to meet this target, the department must lay off employees to meet it.
• A department may continue hiring to fill vacancies if doing so does not cause it to exceed its "workforce cap."
• The Franchise Tax Board's direct revenue collection functions will be exempt from this workforce cap to avoid adverse impact on State finances. The Constitutional Offices will be exempted as those offices' budgets had a permanent reduction in FY 2009-10. 
  

All this means to me is that I'll continue to have the same pay without the days off. The funniest thing about this is that two of the things the Governator wants to do were in the contract members voted to support 18 months ago. (The contract had that unpaid "personal day" and a 5% increase to medical.)

Life sure is grand.

Look at the time, 1984 already.

(That is a quote from Daria, which is still a spectacular show, even though it's missing the music.)

Websense has entered the department here at work today.

I found it out a couple hours ago while trying visit PPMB to read what's goin' on... Wait, no, it was geekier than that, I was at the Daria wiki to double check an edit I made earlier this week and it the page was blocked. No social networking or message boards/forums or something like that.

Websense'd.

Checked the comics I like to read, none of them worked. The reasons, oddly enough, varied. Most were marked as entertainment, a few as forums, a couple as social networking, one as shopping. The shopping one was odd, so I checked and saw the Amazon was working just fine. Still does. Funny, seems to me that if part of its job is to block shopping sites, then shouldn't it block all shopping sites? Isn't this the sort of thing that the Net Neutrality hearings and such are about?

Oh, well, for today, at least, I can blog through my e-mail, since it's been up all day. Tomorrow, who knows. When I log in in the morning I may not be able to access my g-mail account. I can also read the feeds from Google Reader, but that may not last.

Oh, yes, it's an exciting time to work for the state.

TEST! TEST!

I may have tested this before, but now it's more important!

God speed, little e-mail.

Losing the Heights

In The Heights is in SF for the next couple of weeks. Its a show that I'm very curious to see. It won a Tony, so it's probably petty okay, even if it might not be great.

There are three problems with going to see the show:
1. The with work, cheapest ticket is $64 dollars, since it hast to be bought through TicketMaster, the fuckers.
2. Doing overtime, which is what will give me some extra money next month, I could only get into SF on a Sunday to see it.
3. The show is leaving on June 18th. That give me four Sundays, one of which I will not be here for and all of which are before the overtime check will be in my chubby hand.

*sigh*

Maybe I'll just wait and go see Young Frankenstein when it gets back to SF in July. That might be fun.

Interpretations, in the End

The first time I ever learned that there were people out there who didn't like the ending to My Fair Lady, I was in college. I was admiring a picture of Audrey Hepburn (I'm pretty sure it was from Breakfast at Tiffany's, but memory fades.) my friend had up on the wall of his bedroom and mentioned it to him.

"I love Audrey Hepburn," he said, "except at the end of My Fair Lady."

I didn't ask why. Although I wondered.

Years later, talking with another friend and her husband My Fair Lady was brought up (probably by me, but I can't be sure about that) and she mentioned how she preferred the end to Pygmalion. I asked about the difference since I hadn't read the play, and she said the difference was that in Pygmalion Eliza doesn't go back to Higgins.

I don't remember discussing it any more, but I do remember thinking that if Eliza didn't show up at the end of the movie then My Fair Lady would have to end either after Higgins sings (or "sings" when talking about Rex Harrison) "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face" or after Mrs. Higgins says, "Bravo, Eliza." Both seem logical endings, with the former being much more sad.

I wondered, though, if something was wrong with me that I've never felt disturbed by the end of the movie/play. I can see why my friends would prefer Eliza not to show up in the study at the end: she's freed herself from a controlling, self-centered, arrogant, asshat of a man and taken her fate into her own hands. (If it had ended this way for my whole life, I would probably agree with them.) Most people who like the end probably like it because they think Eliza and Higgins are in love and now -- sigh -- they can be together, forever, and get married.

Me? Well, the more I've thought about it since that first time the more I realize that I like the end of the movie/play because Eliza has taken hold of her life and, frankly, I think she's chosen the best life for herself that she could find in early 1900s London.

She doesn't return to Higgins because she's in love with him. Yes, she cares for him a great deal, she probably loves him, but she is not in love with him, as seen here:

Higgins: In short, you want me to be as infatuated about you as he is, is that it?

Eliza: No, I don't. That's not the sort of feeling I want from you. I want a little kindness. I know I'm a common, ignorant girl, and you're a book-learned gentleman, but I'm not dirt under your feet.

What I done-- what I did was not for the taxis and the dresses, but because we were pleasant together and I come to-- came to care for you. Not to want you to make love to me and not forgetting the difference between us, but more friendly like.

The important bit again: "Not to want you to make love to me and not forgetting the difference between us, but more friendly like."

She cares about him, probably does love him, but Eliza Doolittle is not in love with Henry Higgins. I've always thought that she looked at him as the older brother she never had or the father she wished she had (although the father position is probably better filled by Pickering).

And Higgins isn't in love with Eliza. "I've Grown Accustom to Her Face" is a song about fondness. About how he likes that she's around. He sings, "I've grown accustomed to the tune that / She whistles night and noon." because it's part of the background of his life making what he thought was a nice life even better and more comfortable. "I've grown accustomed to the trace," he sings, "Of something in the air; / Accustomed to her face." She's made his life better in a smaller, simpler, and, perhaps, stronger ways than he made her life better.

Then why, if it's not love, does she come back to him, right?

Academics and economics.

When she first comes to Higgins she wants to be a girl in a flower shop. She wants to earn a better living for herself. She wants to move out of her social class and into a class that she sees as better. Eliza never expects to live with Higgins, though. She thinks she'd do it like her friend who took French lessons. She'd come to Higgins's house once or twice a week, clear up her accent, get a job in a shop, and move on with her life.

By moving into Higgins's house and working with him on a Daily basis, Eliza is pushed into the world of academia. As she speaks her vowels and practices her "h" sounds and says those tongue twisters she also overhears Higgins and Pickering discussing dialects and the human condition. It's easy to imagine that sometimes she might have even join in the discussions, once she starts to speak-up.

After the ball, knowing that the grand experiment is over, what's she to do?

Can she go on and work in someone's flower shop and be happy?

Can she really marry Freddy?

I don't think she can do either one.

Marrying Freddy's out because he's self-centered and an idiot. If there's any conversation to be had between the two of them, it'll be about him. (His song is about how he feels to be near her, which is sort of flattering, but I'd have more respect for him if he sang about how it felt to be with her.) It's like he thinks she's a trinket that he can put in a case and admire because it makes him feel good to know he has something so nice. There's only status in him, no vigor or life, no real thought. By the end of My Fair Lady Eliza learns how to think and isn't likely to marry just for money.

Working in a flower shop could be more likely, but where's the challenge to Eliza. She's been working and learning for months. Not only does her way of speaking change, but her view of the world (and the world's view of her). Before, she knew how to read and write, but that was all. After, she knows how to analyze what she sees and reads and use it to her advantage. The ball was where the audience sees her using the things she had been taught to her advantage: adapting as the situation changes, and letting the people think of her what they want. Working in a flower shop isn't a place where she could stretch her mind.

She couldn't marry an idiot (if she had, I would hate the movie/play with a passion). She wouldn't be happy simply selling flowers. What other choices did a woman, with no money, have in the early 1900s?

Eliza had another choice. Was it the perfect choice? No, but I think it was better than the alternatives.

Perhaps what really gets to the people who don't like the ending is that the last thing Eliza tells Higgins before showing up in his study at the very end is that she can do bloody well without him, but she, in the end, decides she does need him. I can understand how that could stick in their craws, but I still think that, for the time she lived in, she made the best choice.

Gulf Oil Spill

Sometimes, I think it's unfair that such a horrible thing can be so beautiful. Click for much bigger.

Taken from GeekDad.

Found:

A lost paper full of madness. (Click to make it bigger. You really want to click to make it bigger, trust me.)


If yours, please come back and explain the highlighting of the "a"s in the last paragraph and what the drawing is suppose to be.

Classic vs. Cliché

When it comes to the ending of a movie or a book or short story, how can you tell when the ending is classic (an homage) or cliché?

Example: Kid gets cool toy. Toy has artificial intelligence capabilities. AI is nice and helpful to kid. Kid helps AI to learn and AI helps kid get through problem, or whatever. In the end, AI ties up kid and kid's family. The end.

AI betrays its creator/master/friend is a "twist" that's happened a lot in science fiction. It's happened so much that when I read something that introduces an AI that's important to someones survival that I expect it to betray and when it doesn't (*SPOILER* watch the movie Moon *END SPOILER*) I'm surprised.

So, when is that sort of an ending a classic and when is it a cliché? Is it only a classic ending when I enjoy the story and a cliché when everything building up to it is boring and painful? Is it still a cliché even when I, or you, enjoy the story/movie/novel? Are all classic elements -- plots, character archetypes, endings -- of stories that keep getting repeated cliché, or are they something else entirely?

This Week's Obsessive Song

The Perfect Fit -- The Dresden Dolls
It's a fan video, but they've done a pretty nice job.

I've probably listened to this song sixty times in the last five years, but it just hit me in the gut this week and I could easily add another twenty times listening to to.

Strange Feeling

The other night while I was watching Glee, I realized that the "kids," since all the actors are at least 20, are 16 or 17, right? That means they were born in 1993 or '94. The teacher and the guidance counselor are my age.

It was another one of those odd moments where it really hits that I'm not a kid but I still don't think of myself as/feel like an adult.

Do those moments ever end?

Wonderfully Weird Weather

Today's had some wonderfully weird weather:

When I left my apartment this morning, the sun was shining in my eyes and the clouds looked white and fluffy.

At around eight, I could see dark, ominous clouds to the west.

Some time near ten, the sky opened up and sent torrents of rain down upon the world.

By eleven everything looked to be clearing.

One-ish, the darkness returned.

As two rolled around giant drops in massive amounts fell from the sky.

Now, nearly three-thirty, the clouds to the east are black, to the west are fluffy and white, and the sun shines on the dry, except for some puddles, parking lot across the street, but what looms just beyond?

I watch and listen to the people in my office get frustrated at all this. It's almost May, they say, the weather should be clearing. I sit and think how wonderful it is.

I like the rain. The only thing that makes the rain better is when there's thunder and lightening.

Of course, this could be like me liking the snow. I've never lived though snow that piles upon itself day after day for a week and I've never been though tornadoes and hurricanes. And even if that is the reason I like it, I like the rain. I like the smell of the concrete and pavement after the storm. I like the oil slicks on puddles or running down the street after a craptastic car drives by. I like the sound it makes on roofs and my umbrella. I like how it makes my shoes and the cuffs on my pants wet.

I wrote last week about how the weather here has been warm and clear, but every week or so we get a storm and I hope to whatever possible god that may or may not be out there that this cycle continues all summer long. Not just to please me, but to also piss off those around me.

The Non of Sense

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it doesn't really matter, but it's nice to know that there's at least one other who has my problem, or at least a similar one.

No, I'm not going to go into detail. I just don't want to. It's one of those things where if I think about it, like really think about it, I can't stop. I start obsessing. And that's not good. No, better not to obsess.

You want to know something I've started doing that frustrates me? I've started using emoticons. I'm not a fan of emoticons. I've always thought that the writing should be able to convey the emotion, but then I started posting on message boards rather than just reading them and throwing in an emoticon every now and then really seems to help other understand some of the meaning behind what I write better. After hitting the "submit" button for a post that includes an emoticon, I sicken me, but then I go to another thread and write something else and find that a raspberry would add a punch, so I put a " :b " in the post. Disgusting.

Odds

You know, with all the obsession about vampires out there, has anyone figured out how they defecate? Do they pee? Do they poo? Are they like birds and both kinds of waste at once?

No system is perfectly closed, so there has to be some kind of waste and they're going to have to get rid of it some how. I don't care if vampires have a piece of a demon soul in them, they still have to get rid of the unusable parts.

---

I've really like the weather in Northern California the past couple of months. We've gotten a storm every 6-10 days with days in between that are sunny or have patchy clouds. It's been nice to have a real variety in weather. I hope it stays this way the rest of the year.

If this is how climate change is going to effect my life, I'm all for it.

---

I know the stuff is just fan fiction, but is it wrong to get upset inside when I read a story where the author doesn't seem to know the word "than" exists (he only ever writes "then" to mean both "then" and "than") and then read a review praising the author's writing ability as the one of the best out there and even complimenting the grammar as being "spot on"?

Seriously, I don't understand. People out there will pick on writers mixing up "its" with "it's" or "there" with "their" and "they're" or "to" with "two" and "too," but do they not even see the "then"s replacing the "than"s? Maybe they just don't care, but if that's true, why do they pick on other grammatical errors?

I suppose, on the plus side, the author constantly makes this mistake. Consistency is a good thing, right?

---

For $5 movie Tuesday I went and saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

I had to go see it. I like the books: they make me laugh. I liked the movie: it made me laugh.

The director and writers (two of whom were Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah, which surprised me and made me happy) keep the potty jokes to a minimum and the big one, that I remember, was both well earned and hilarious. (Not that I'm against potty jokes. (Hell I opened this post with a potty joke.) It's that I hate that so many writers and directors out there think it's the only sort of humor that kids like and/or get. Kids ain't that dumb.) The "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" scene was worth the admission price alone, well for me and the mom that brought her son to see it, at least. Also, they animate the art from the book and it's gorgeous.

I just went and checked out the Wikipedia page for the movie and saw the section on the reviews. Rotten Tomatoes says, "Unlike its bestselling source material, Diary of a Wimpy Kid fails to place a likable protagonist at the center of its middle-school humor – and its underlying message is drowned out as a result." Funny thing is, Greg's a jerk in the books, too, it's part of the charm. I found him to be just as likable in the movie as he is in the book. Maybe seeing a real little kid doing the things a cartoon little kid did, not that he does anything horrible.

Bah, I don't need to defend the movie and I don't have to explain myself, but I enjoyed it.

---

The CDs I bought with the Amazon gift certificates(? Letters? Emails? They're not cards, so what are they exactly?) I got for my birthday got here yesterday. The one I'm most excited about is the cast recording of "Sunday in the Park with George."

Listened to it twice last night.

If only... Right?

Big useless Statements and Ideas

President Barack Obama boldly predicted Thursday his new plans for space exploration would lead American astronauts on historic, almost fantastic journeys to an asteroid and then to Mars — and in his lifetime — relying on rockets and propulsion still to be imagined and built.

From this article.

The Moon was supposed to be the first stepping stone, right?

After the Moon, Mars. After Mars, the asteroid belt for mining. After successful mining, on to the outer planets.

The first stepping stone, right? But it didn't accomplish that, and it shouldn't have. Unfortunately, that's what the world, and worse, Congress expected.

What should the Moon landing have led to? More fuel efficient, cheaper, and safer ways to get into orbit. Practice creating artificial gravity. Permanent residence in orbit.

Then we go back to the Moon and set up long term facilities.

---

You know, I've lost what I was going to say.

Basically, I wish we'd focus our manned space program on learning better/cheaper ways to lob things into orbit. That's the expensive part, right now. After we can successfully and cheaply get people up there start to work on ways to get out of Earth's gravity well and moving to an asteroid or a planet.

I want us to continue to explore. I want us out there. I just don't see taking anymore big steps without setting up an infrastructure to support multiple trips as the way to do it.

Humanity should be done with the Cold War Space Race Bullshit by now.

Why do I get the feeling that it never will be finished, though?

Since I don't want to think...

I'm repeating a meme I did almost three years ago.
Ah, the links are to the songs I found on YouTube. The Allan Sherman one is not sung by Allan Sherman, which figures since it's not one of his more famous songs. Also, the link for "Life" is not sung by the buy who sings it on myPod.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: reptile -- Nine Inch Nails
Waking Up: Vengeance and Fashion -- Electric Six
First Day At School: Pump It Up -- Elvis Costello
Falling In Love: Little Girl Blue -- Janis Joplin
Fight Song: Dodgin' the Draft -- Allan Sherman
Breaking Up: Song 2 -- Blur
Prom: Listen to Your Heart -- Sutton Foster (from Young Frankenstein the musical)
Life: All I need is the Girl -- David Burtka (from the 2003 revival of Gypsy)
Mental Breakdown: Patterns -- Simon & Garfunkel
Driving: That Thing You Do -- The Wonders
Flashback: A Kiss to Build a Dream On -- Louis Armstrong
Getting back together: La Grippe -- Squirrel Nut Zippers
Wedding: Punky's Dilemma -- Simon & Garfunkel
Birth of Child: Boulevard of Broken Dreams -- Green Day
Final Battle: (I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone -- The Monkees
Death Scene: Gimme A Little Sign -- Brenton Wood
Funeral Song: Lavender Blue (Dilly, Dilly) -- Burl Ives
End Credits: Incense And Peppermints -- Strawberry Alarm Clock

A(nother) Problem with Work

When I come across a name like Michael Moorcock in the database, no one understands why I get giggly and excited.

(They mistake the reason for the giggly. If it was only his last name, they'd be right about the giggly, but the first name changes everything. Okay, not everything, but enough.)

Where can I get me one?

The comic will explain, but I really want one.