2013 Saga Reader Survey

1. In the parlance of these newfangled “chat rooms,” what is your A/S/L?

Moving into mid 30s when the survey was written/No thanks/Living room

2. And if you don’t mind us asking, where do you buy your comical books?

Mostly eBay. If I’m in a city or town with a shop, I try to drop in and spend a little bit o’ cash. Every little bit helps, right?

3. Okay, but when was the last time you climbed a rope or used a rope to aid in your ascent?

I’ve never climbed a rope. Not ever.

I seem to remember going on a hike and there was a rope you could hold on to as you walked up a hill. But that would have been decades ago.

4. Do you believe in any kind of an afterlife?

I don’t believe in an afterlife. I’m very afraid that there may be one, though. I hope there isn’t.

5. Who is the most famous person you went to school with?

The most famous person I went to school with, and actually knew, would be either the kid who give Marty McFly his gun back after the shootout in Back to the Future III or the guy who played the drums in the band in the 2003 version of Freaky Friday. I know that a failed NFL player and a woman who did adult films went to my high school at the same time as me, but I don’t think I ever met them.

6. In adolescent sex talk, what does “third base” represent to you?

In general terms, third base is when one gets to play with another’s crotchal area. Third base minus is over the pants. Third base is over the underwear. Third base plus is flesh touching flesh.

7. President Obama probably hasn’t had too much free time since he was elected, so which (non-Saga) comics that have released in the past five years would you most recommend to him?

My gut says go with something funny but also has intense moments to help the funny hit harder,  like the Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire Justice League. He may not be in office, anymore, but I’m sure he needs to laugh more.

8. It’s your final meal; what would you like to drink with that?

I’m assuming you mean something alcoholic. I don’t like the flavor of alcohol and I’ve yet to have a drink with alcohol where the alcohol wasn’t the most prominent flavor. I remember being given a mudslide in college, sipping it, and asking if it had booze in it. The person who gave me the drink laughed and said yeah, but no one could taste it. I could. And it tasted bad.

9. On Star Trek: The Next Generation, which two character had a never-acknowledged love affair that only you know about?

I think Worf and Dr. Pulaski fooled around a little after sharing the tea ceremony, but she didn’t want a relationship and he didn’t want to be a booty call.

10. What is the best thing you’ve ever stolen?

Never stolen a heart, that I know about, which must be the best thing to steal. So, I guess it’s an off-brand Tootsie Roll from one of those barrels the grocery stores used to have. It wasn’t very good, because it’s almost a Tootsie Roll, but it’s the best thing I’ve stolen.

11. Who or what do you miss?

I miss being able to needing to laugh when something’s funny. I miss feeling that tickle in my chest at a good joke.

12. Have you ever had a possible supernatural experience and if so, what was it?

Not that I can think of.

13. Do you know anyone currently in prison?

I work in the HR department of a prison. I know lots of people there. Some of us get to go home each day.

14. Which field or fields do you consider yourself an expert in?

I’m not an expert in anything.

15. Have you ever been given an award?

I got some academic awards in school. I guess that counts.

16. Has Twitter made you a happier person?

No. I’ve never had a Twitter account and, like everyone else in the world, it’s made my life worse.

17. What did your parents almost name you?

My parents claim that they did not have another name selected for me. I think it’s unlikely, but if they had another name they’ve been unwilling to tell me.

18. Did you watch any of those videos that Chelsea Manning helped leak, especially that one?

Chances are that I did, but I don’t remember.

19. If you had to fight in any war in human history, which would you choose?

I don’t know. Something that was pretty short with a low death toll like the Greek Civil War.

20. Isn’t there someone you should finally apologize to this week?

I think I need to apologize to my youngest brother, but I’m going to wait until I see him in person in October.

21. What is the most important article of clothing you own?

T-shirts. They are comfortable and if they’re long enough you don’t need underwear and they can provide some warmth if the material is thicker.

22. Are you happily addicted to anything?

I’m not happy about anything and I don’t think I’m addicted to anything.

23. We’re having a dance! Would you like to come to our dance?

Are more than six people going to be there? If yes, then I will not attend.
Will it be loud or loud-loud? If loud-loud, then I will not attend.

24. You have to permanently give up either movies or television, so what’s it gonna be?

If it’s giving up things that were originally released in movie theater vs. things that were originally released on television, I’d keep TV. Large variety of genres and larger number of hours of stuff to experience. Also, I’d rather keep the Star Trek TV shows over the movies.

25. Finally, please draw a quick doodle of yourself, especially if you’re not an artist.

2012 Saga Reader Survey

1. If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you?

I was in my early 30s when this survey was released.

2. And where are you from?

The United States. California. Sierra foothills.

3. What are your reading these days?

I’ve recently started reading again after brain problems. I’m reading stuff that I bought while I was healing, but couldn’t focus on reading. So, clearly I’ve recently read Saga. I also read all of John Allison’s books, including Giant Days, The Great British Bump Off, Steeple, and By Night. Dan Jurgen’s The Mighty Thor from ‘97. I also read the first two Dungeon Crawler Carl books. All were good and I recommend.

4. Do you buy your funny books from your friendly neighborhood retailer, or from an online site like Comixology?

At the time this survey was released, I had moved back to the town I grew up in and there was no comic store. Shortly after, I went to a store in the valley that used to mail me stuff and set up with them. They closed two or so years later. I spent some time with Comixology, but developed brain problems and lost track of everything. As my brain has recovered, I’ve bought from eBay. I tried to go to another store in the valley, but they said that they would send me a list of comics each moths that they were going to order and I could select what I wanted. They would not order The Knights of the Dinner Table for me. Don’t know why.

5. Important: who would win in a fight, the Hulk or Rorschach?

I don’t know (or care) who would win, but the readers and comics industry as a whole would lose.

6. If a member of the Saga team were on the run from the authorities, would he or she be able to crash on your couch for a bit?

Probably, if they seemed safe to be around.

7. What is the worst recreational drug?

Meth seems pretty bad, but that only comes from observation.

8. Why won’t more people accept that Haywire is Stephen Soderbergh’s very best film?

Maybe they’re like me and don’t have an extensive knowledge of Stephen Soderbergh’s filmography.

9. What is your second greatest regret in life? Giving up on those piano lessons?

I didn’t take formal piano lessons and I have a hard time practicing music because I’ve been unable to learn to sightread music all my life. I guess my second greatest regret would be not going to see Cake in concert while I was in college. I only had like $37 at the time and it was a few week before my financial aid would be released.

10. Seriously, what is wrong with my eye?

It’s too beautiful and casts a spell of lust on all who see it?

11. What is the only truly excellent Mexican restaurant in New York City?

I’ve only been in New York City once for two nights. I was more interested in going to deli’s for corned beef and/or pastrami sammiches.

12. Ian Fleming once wrote that James Bond liked sex best when it had “the sweet tang of rape.” Does this change the way you feel about the character and/or life on this planet?

James Bond is a control freak, so it makes sense that seizing a woman and forcing her to do what he wants would appeal to him. I assume lots of people like to exercise control over their partners during sex. So, it doesn’t change my view of the character and life on the planet. I just hope it’s always consensual.

13. If you had to permanent give up chocolate of cheese (in each of their infinite varieties), which would you choose?

I’d give up chocolate. Chocolate tends to be only sweet. Cheese is used in way more savory and sweet applications. Cheese is more versatile.

14. When was the last time you watched a stage play, and what was it?

It was a few months ago. My niece was in a school production of 13, which is a musical. The school did a good job with what they had, but the play has … problems.

15. What do you think Image publisher Eric Stephenson’s darkest secret really is?

I don’t know if it’s dark, but maybe co-writing Wolverine with Rob Liefeld?

16. Which of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is most assuredly an atheist?

Venus de Milo

17. Have we dated?

I haven’t dated anyone.

18. Would you rather be trapped on the island from Lost with your mom or dad, and why?

I think my mom because we can easily amuse each other.

19. When was the last time you were naked in front of someone in a nonsexual context?

I assume I was naked in front a medical professional while I was going through lithium poisoning. There are weeks worth of time that I can’t remember from back then.

20. Are you Banksy, and if so, can we do anything to help?

If I were, I wouldn’t tell you. You can help by going out and doing some are yourself.

21. What had a greater impact on your upbringing, your favorite librarian or your favorite coach?

No good coaches were good for/with me. I had lots of good librarians.

22. What are you working on these days, anything creative?

I’m working on experiencing emotions again.

23. Wait, why did you abandon it?

I only abandon it when I’m too tired for anything.

24. Relax, I’m sure it’s great. Listen, why not put down this comic and work on your thing RIGHT NOW?

Emotions first. Creative pursuits come later.

25. Cool, but before you do, but if you were reincarnated as an inanimate object, what would it be?

A novelty flash drive people get free off a table from a convention or trade show that gets lost in luggage and never serves its purpose.