Sunday, June 26, 2011

I don't think Facebook is a good fit.

So, Facebook. Yeah.

Since I rejoined a few months ago I have had over twenty "friend" requests from people. I have neither confirmed nor denied any of the requests. They just sit there, waiting for a decision. I need to decide exactly what kind of a dickhead I am. Am I the kind of dickhead who just denies the "friending" of everyone who I don't want as a "friend" (which includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, people from high school, alternates Facebook accounts of people, people who know people I know, cousins, old teachers, etc.) or do I "friend" everyone then block the updates from those I don't really know or care about, in a personal sense.

One person who I haven't added wrote me to ask if it's okay that he wanted to be my "friend" on Facebook because I sort of reacted poorly when he wanted to "friend" me on MySpace. I told him the truth, that for now my only "friends" on Facebook are my brothers, their significant others, and my mother.

Another person wrote, "Burn [ticknart] Burn..." after I didn't "friend" him. I wrote back, "Please, explain Facebook etiquette to me." He responded, "It's no big deal. I was just curious to see how you were doing. If you are using FB only for close friends, family, or any other group of people of which I am not a part, I'll understand perfectly. After all, I have most of the 'friends' on my list blocked."

Which leads to the second kind of dickhead, the one who blocks their "friends." I get the idea behind it. Who cares if someone whacked a bush and found a giant cherry? I don't, but even if I block people, they can still see everything that I put up there, if they want. And that disturbs me.

Do you suppose Facebook would allow levels for "friends" so you can control the content you allow people to see? I doubt it, but I'd be more likely to just "friend" everyone if I could.

Another thing about Facebook that disturbs me is how you lose control over your privacy.

I am now tagged in two photos. One shows me in profile, I think, and the other is my knee. I didn't ask to be tagged in these. The person who posted them put my name in. I suppose I could ask for the tags to be removed, but odds are good that someone else would see at least one of them and tag me again.

I think it's stupid, but it's a choice when my aunt decided to get on her phone everywhere and update where she was at every moment during my brother's wedding. She chose to give up that bit of privacy. When you're tagged by people in a photo, you have no choice.

That makes me uncomfortable.


AE said...

I'm the sort of dickhead that 'friends' the people I don't hate, blocks the people I don't care about, blocks specific posts I from people I like but who play way too many games, and doesn't post personal information I don't want others to read.

AND! You can de-tag or un-tag, whatever the hell you call it, any picture of you. S'cool.

The major dickish people are the dickheads that are offended that you won't be 'friends' with them via the internet. A good friend of mine quit saying his better friends would 'just fucking call me' or he them while the rest he doesn't care about. So fuck it, he said.

I think he's got a point.

AE said...

(...The inference may change when I leave the comma out ... It should be between 'quit' and 'saying'... reading 'A good friend of mine quit, saying his better friends blah blah blah...)

ticknart said...

I have to go back to wanting to be able to set levels of "friendship" to people so I have control over the content they see. Example: mild acquaintances or people I knew for a while in high school should be able to see some photos, but not all of them.