Friday, August 29, 2008

Want OUT!

You know, I've wanted to leave here for a long time. Mostly because I'd like to live somewhere where pretension is low(er) and trees are high(er). Now I want to leave because of my job.

I've hated this job before.

Now I HATE this job.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Work

I think I have never hated my job as much as I hate it right now.

I'm sure it doesn't help that I didn't get that last job I interviewed for, but that'd be a very small part of it.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

TESTS!

Guess what I did with my morning!

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPS - The Idealist

Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Shape

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:


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Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Supervillain Archetype Test...

The Professional

Cool, Levelheaded, Lethal

The Professional is the most dangerous of all villains. You do what you do better than anyone, because, as a Professional, you have standards.

The Professional is like the Crook in that they both desire money. But the Professional wants more than that. The Professional wants job satisfaction. It isn't sadism really, he just wants to be sure that the job is done, and done well. No hard feelings, it's just business. Professionals prefer to work alone, but will work in groups if given incentive.

The greatest weakness of a Professional is risk. A Professional is business-like, but can't resist a challenge. They often use the word "worthy opponent". People like that are easily baited. And if a Professional is eventually cornered (not easy to do), they might lose it.

Sample Professionals: Deathstroke, Bullseye, Revanche

Take The Supervillain Archetype Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Godzilla Personality Test!...

Biollante: Killer Plant!!

Science+Love+Madness=Biollante

Bad News: You're a flower monster....plain and simple. You've been created by mixing Godzilla genes, little girl genes, and a rose bush. Not the coolest of creations, is it?

Good News: You almost ATE Godzilla. That's right. So even though you're a sissy flower monster, noone is going to call you that to your face, because you're big, you're mean, and you are one cool looking bitch. I mean look at that picture!

Take The Godzilla Personality Test! at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Well Rounded Geek Quiz...

The Companion

78% Geekiness!

See that beautiful girl in the picture above? That's you. You are smart, you are savvy and you've got the common sense needed to be a very well rounded geek indeed. But not QUITE at that higher echelon yet. But you're in good company. Chances are you know at least one good, well rounded and worldy person to glean some information from so stick with them, through time travel and dimensional hopping. You'll come out the otherside weathered and FANTASTIC.

Take The Well Rounded Geek Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

"[T]he kids, like all kids, love the dog."

Dear Politicians,

Please stop insisting that your first priority is to us, the people.

I don't believe you. Anyone with an ounce of cynicism doesn't believe you. The only people who believe you are too drunk or stoned to actually perceive the world beyond two feet of themselves or dewy-eyed college students who still think one person will make a difference.

You want to know what would probably be more appealing to the cynics out there? Tell them that your first priority is to your family because if you have a family, and it seems that the vast majority of you do, they really should be your priority.

How can anyone argue with you getting a huge kickback from a chemical processing plant for your vote in opposition to stricter clean air rules if you use the cash (or at least say you used the cash) to send your kid to a university?

Nixon had Checkers; you can have college for your kid.

It makes you sound like you have real family values, which everyone, even the few commies out there, can support.

*hugs*

ticknart

Friday, August 22, 2008

A Few Reasons for a Significant Other

In thought order.
  1. A fourth for Euchre when visiting my parents.
  2. Someone with whom to learn to dance.
  3. Semi-regular sex. (2 times a week is all I'm asking.) (Not to say that more wouldn't be welcome, but I don't want to be greedy.) (Hell, one time a week is more than I'm getting now, so I hope I wouldn't complain much.)
  4. Someone to walk with.
  5. A partner for Bridge and Spades.
  6. A pillow the smells like someone else.
  7. Someone who can discuss music, movies, plays, and such, with me.
  8. Someone to cook for and with.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Well...

What can be said to something like that?


Edit, 1504 hours: I said something. Dunno if I had to or if it was helpful, but I said it.


Edit Again, 1508 hours: I am an asshole.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

How Stupid Have We Become?

SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario:
Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario:
Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every e-mail to show how stupid we have become!

And if we do not wake up and take our country back - WE will not have a country , nor a society to grow old in or for our children to grow up in

Think about it!
How stupid have we become?

Someone, somewhere, took the time to create this and decided to glorify a time where men of color were lynched for talking to a white woman partially because of institutional racism. A time when women weren't allowed to serve on juries in many states. A time when HUAC still encouraged citizens to accuse neighbors of being communist.

How stupid have we become?

My coworker took the time to forward this to me. She added a note about how true it is. (Funny, she was only a few years old in 1957, so how would she know?) She thought I'd be one of the people who agree, even though I've told her, several times, not to send me crap like this.

How stupid have we become?

I think we're just as stupid as we've ever been.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Into the Red

Do any of you out there have a good recipe for pizza sauce your willing to share with me?

I'd like one that's not too sweet and is on the thicker side, if you have it.

Damn!

My brother, the one who moved to Oregon, has mailed me his new address. He's living like three block from the beach.

For the moment, my jealousy meter is in the red.

Friday, August 15, 2008

No Hoo-Hahs Here

Work is almost at an end and so is my time connected to the intervurb. I have no stories about hoo-hahs. I could complain more about work, but I don't want to. I have no crazy pets. I don't particularly care about the new Star Wars movie. And I haven't thought about the Olympics until just now and that was only because I wanted another sentence.

Still a little filler is better than not posting again, especially when I have time. Even though it's not much time.

Other than laundry and shopping I have no idea what I'll be doing this weekend. Not much, I expect. Hope yours was/is filled with great things.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ends in Odds

One of my brothers is up in Washington for the summer. He's there with his girlfriend at her parents' place. If I remember correctly, it's some island near Seattle, but it isn't exactly Seattle. (I wonder if they have to take a ferry to get to the island?) When school starts, they move to Oregon. I'm not sure where. All I know is that the place they move is like three hours from Portland, so the next time they show the Too Much Coffee Man Opera, I won't have a cheap place to stay.

Don't know why I wrote that.

'Course, don't know why I'm writing anything today.

Work has been weird. We're in that nebulous period between our old computer system and the new one where they've shut down the old and no one can actually use the new. Yeah, it's fucking stupid and a real fucking pain in the ass. Some of the trainers refuse to accept that it's a pain in the ass, though, and keep telling us that we just need more practice and that we'll get it eventually.

Fuckers.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sound and Shadow

About five and a half months ago, I wrote, "I'd like to be a studio musician for my day job and in the evening I paint and draw what ever I want and occasionally sell something."

A few of months later, Rude Cactus asked, "If money was no object, what's your ideal gig?"

After some thought I put my reply up and said, "It's not money that keeps me from doing what, for the moment, I would like to do, it's the fact that that I can't sight-read music, or draw." (Although, honestly, the money would stop me, too. I just don't have to think about the money, at all.)

He wrote back, "Those are luckily things - mostly - you can learn."

The "mostly" is what stopped me from snarking back. Still his comment has stuck with me since first reading it. (Almost as much as a comment my Uncle mad to me at Easter. Cripes.)

On the sight-reading front, I did marching band for three years in high school. Trumpet. I was a competent player. Nothing spectacular. My range went from several bars below the staff to just above the top. On the trumpet, though, the higher, the better. Still, I was very solid backup for the first chair. Give me a third or second part and I could harmonize and support the difficult work the first part played as well as anyone.

I liked being a second or third chair player. We may not have always played the full melody, but the parts were always interesting.

And then one day, in my third year, I was asked by the teacher to try out for the advanced jazz band. (I think it mostly happened because my best friend was the A1, top of the heap, best soprano sax player we had, not because I was really that good, but I was still flattered.) The only thing was that I'd have to try out along with the other possible trumpets. We all showed up one afternoon. He handed us each a piece of music then one at a time told us to stand up and play what we saw.

To say I screwed up insults all the people who screw things up. I was horrible. What I played hardly sounded like music. Oh, sure, there were changes in pitch and tempo and there was some sort of rhythm, but nothing like what appeared on sheet in front of me. The teacher was so embarrassed, or ashamed, at my performance that he hardly spoke to me for the next two weeks. (Which was really a blessing. He was often a creep once you grew out of enjoying his childish behavior.) I wasn't surprised, though, because I knew I couldn't sight-read.

For those who don't know, sight-reading is the act of looking at a piece of music and being able to hear it in your head and then play the tune as you're first looking at it. (Also called sight playing or sight singing.) These people see the note and hear the rhythm they make and pitches they represent and then recreate it. I couldn't, and can't, do either of those things.

I can look at a new piece of music and say, out loud, what the note's called. I can point and say, "That's a quarter note. It's a G flat. Then there's another quarter note, C, followed by a half note tied into a whole note in the next measure, an E." I can't clap the rhythm. I can't hum or sing the correct pitch for any of the notes named. I can read the marks on the sheet, it's not gibberish to me, but I can't tell what it's supposed to sound like.

In college, I took a semester of piano. I worked around my sight-reading problem by having the teacher or her TA play the piece for me before I started practicing the music. That way I'd hear it and when I looked at the sheet, I could hear the music as well as just read it. And I had a lot of fun playing music again. So, when the semester was over, I bought my self a decent keyboard so I could keep practicing.

It didn't work out so well. I could practice and get better at the stuff I already knew, but I couldn't play anything new. I'd leaf through my beginner/intermediate book and look at all the things we didn't play and try my damnedest, but I wasn't playing music. It was just sound.

Eventually, I just stopped. It wasn't fun playing the same things over and over again. I didn't know how to do something new and noodling around got boring.

Other than the ceramics stuff I bought and mixed in with my mother's ceramics stuff, I think that keyboard is the only thing I left at my parent's house after I moved out the last time.

The drawing thing, well, I'll do my best to explain.

I can sketch and doodle and cartoon a little. My people look like people. My faces tend to turn out masculine. And the houses I draw are the simple kind with a big square, a triangle, a rectangle, and a couple of little squares for windows.

One of my problems, when I draw or paint or anything, is that I don't have a steady, consistent hand. I can't consistently duplicate anything. Even when I want to draw the same person, the second drawing looks totally different from the first. Of course, anyone who's seen my hand writing can tell stories about that. The first "a" I write looks similar but distinctly different from the second, from the third, from the last. I suppose that means I have very little control over my hand.

The biggest problem I've found, since I started looking more closely at art and trying to understand it and do it, are shadows.

In most really great drawings and paintings, the artist works like a sculptor. The artist uses the blacks and grays of shadows to carve away the white of the paper and bring out a form. With charcoal or water color they start with the shadow light and then add layer after layer to darken gradually so it shows the curve of the person or object. They see shadows as gradual shifts from white to black.

I see shadows as shapes. After I draw the shape, I have a hard time figuring out how to shade the interior to add depth. Even with art classes, I haven't been able to get past this.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Stip Raise

Just got the notification that I've been approved for my hey-he's-worked-another-year-with-us raise starting on the September paycheck.

Don't know if I should laugh.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Blah-Blogging

It's that time again!

The time when I start questioning why, exactly, I come to this website and write things. Things about stuff. You know, whatever stuff.

I know that at least a fistful (that five, for those who can't count) of people choose to stop by on a nearly daily basis and it's times like these (see the last paragraph) that I can't figure out what makes them come back.

Not that it matters, really.

Besides, after nearly 4 and 5/6th years and nearly 2 and 1/2 score posts from a 8 and 1/3rd gross posts total I think I'm pretty much going to continue blah-blahing about stuff, you know, things, whatever things. Doesn't stop me from wondering why the hell I do it though.

A while ago, I wrote, "I've written much about many different things, but don't know how much I've actually said."

Yeah, that's still pretty much true.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Budget Woes

Any who perused this place last week probably saw that I may, or may not, have had my pay cut to $6.55 an hour. And if I haven't, I only haven't had it cut until the September. (Although I'm not sure if it's my paycheck for September, which comes out on the 30th, or the check for October which would first be affected.) Something that I haven't mentioned, though, is all the "vets" who keep telling me not to worry about this budget thing and that it happens all the time.

I get that this state never passes a budget on time. It's supposed to be passed in January (to, you know, spell out what spending will be like for the next fiscal year, you know, before the fiscal year actually starts), but it's not late until July 1st. I don't think it's ever been passed before June. If it has, well, color me surprised.

Okay, so the June deadline comes and goes, no big deal. We meander our way through July wondering why the Assembly and Senate are allowed to take time off without a budget passed, but we let it go. All the while, in the back of our heads, we think about what might happen to us in November because usually there aren't any announcements or major concerns until then.

Then it's the last full week in July and there are rumors floating around that the governor is thinking about cutting our pay to minimum wage, not the state's minimum wage, but the federal one which is nearly $1.50 less. We talk and we worry, but very few of us believe that the governor is that desperate. He won't do it. It's just a threat to get the legislature moving.

Besides, if something is going to happen, it'll be more like what's been done in the past. He's going to ask each employee to take a 10% cut in pay, but make up for it in vacation time, like the state did five or so years ago. He's going to do mandatory time off, so we only have a four day work week for a while, like the state did ten or so years ago. Or, if nothing's resolved by December, he's going to shut down all but the most essential government services to force the issue and get a budget passed, like the state did fifteen or so years ago. But nothing like any of those things, will happen until the beginning of October because it'd be nuts to do it in the beginning of August when the budget is only one month late.

And then it's the last day of July and the first day of a new pay period and the man a plurality of people voted to be in charge of the executive branch signs an order that cuts pay to almost all full time civil servants and fires all part timers and student helpers and retired annuitants.

So the employees get outraged, but in a quiet way. We bitch and moan to each other because, for everyone left, pay has been cut drastically. It's the main thing we talk about with our friends and family. Even when we're sick of hearing and talking and thinking about it, it's all we can focus on because it's a big deal. And even though we're whining about the cut, we know that we're lucky because we still have our jobs. We will get paid something. And when the budget gets passed, we get everything back that we lost, except for the interest we would have made while it sat in the bank and the interest we accumulated because some weren't very well prepared and had to use their credit cards to buy food and pay other bills.

When we finally do shut up about the pay-cut, we watch TV or read (yeah, right) the newspaper and we see the average citizen's reaction. Sure, the average person's upset about the lay-offs at the DMV, where probably one third of the workforce is part time, because the hours have been cut and less staff means more time waiting in line. Other than that, they don't care as long as it doesn't inconvenience them too much. Some people even think that state employees are too well paid and we deserve what's happening. While those people may think civil servants deserve a livable wage, they don't think we should get the benefits and retirement package we have because regular folks don't get 'em.

Of course, we all know we're a political football to be tossed around during times of stress, like every single election ever, and then left to go flat in the corner when saying how greedy and horrible we are won't gain any political clout for anyone. We know we piss people off because we enforce the rule and regulations. We know we hurt families when we cut off unemployment or disability payments because the time has run out. We know that we annoy those who make a comfortable living by making them deal with the lines at the DMV. Before we started working for the state, we made all the same jokes everyone else does.

Doesn't mean we like it, though. It's just a shitty part of the job we put up with. I'm sure it happens at every job. At least we come in knowing about it.

This is the first, and probably not the last, time my paycheck is used by jackass politicians. I'm trying not to worry. I'm trying really hard because if I worry I'll start baking and if I start baking I'll start eating because it'd be a waste to eat the baking and I really don't need to do any extra eating.

I do worry, though.

How can I not?

If I do only get $6.55 an hour, my paycheck will have been cut by about two thirds its usual amount. The pay I take home will be less than my rent. Deductions for medical and retirement, which I want, will hurt a lot more.

Yes, I have savings. Right now I have more money saved than I've ever saved in my life. Sure, I wanted to get a new car in a week or two and then take a few days to go to Las Vegas to check out Star Trek: The Experience before it leave on the first of September, but I guess I don't need to do something fun.

Everyone Should Be Reading pictures for sad children

READ

THIS

STORY!

It's only those three comics and they are brilliant.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Many Plays, 2

There's still plenty to do, but I have to take some time for myself. Which is funny since I'm at work and getting paid, sort of, maybe, that should be my focus, but I'm going a little crazy.

Anyway, like I wrote before, this last month I went to see a lot of plays and I thought it'd be fun (for me) to go over what I saw and what I liked and didn't like about each.

The Women:
At its most, it's the story of a bunch of women in New York and how they deal with men. Divorce, cheating, dating, and remarriage are all big parts of the story. Not that the play's a downer, because it's not. It's really funny. The only real problem with it is that the playwright didn't do a very good job of transitioning from comedy to the drama and them back. It's like laugh, laugh, laugh, and then get hit upside the head with melodrama and weeping; new scene: laugh, laugh, laugh, hit with melodrama. And it does this over and over again.

Still the good far out weighed the overwrought drama and most of the women were spectacular at the comedy and those that weren't were really only important to the drama aspects.

The Producers:
Only one of the most fun musicals ever written. People cheating old ladies out of lots money after having sex with them to put on the worst play ever and after it closes take the extra cash and run off to Rio, with flaming gay men, a Nazi, and songs, what's not to enjoy?

In fact, I enjoyed this version almost as much as I did the touring company Wings and I saw years ago in SF. I did wish that Ulla had a better blonde wig and that we could see the dancers in their swastika formations during "Springtime for Hitler," but an overhead mirror would have cost too much for this little theater.

The Crucible:
This power of this play, when it's performed, rest on the shoulders of one character: John Proctor. Which was the problem with this performance. The guy playing John was too young and he just wasn't that good of an actor. When he's having dinner with his wife, Elizabeth, and she's poking at him because he screwed around on her, John should be played with righteous fury, like he's about to blame his affair on Elizabeth because she got sick and he couldn't have sex with his wife; the actor played it more like a teenager whining to his girlfriend about how sick he is of her teasing. The lust between John and Abigail Williams should be hot and animalistic; she draws him in with her sex appeal and he simply can't resist, but, again, this actor played it more like a first time crush, all awkward and bumbling and clammy.

The rest of the cast was spectacular, though. They took the words of Arthur Miller and really turned them into a morality tale and saved me from being totally bored with the play.

Kiss Me, Kate:
With this play, Cole Porter was trying to move his writing from what Broadway used to be -- a show with songs that were good, but had little to do with the plot -- to what they were becoming -- shows with songs that were integral to the characters or plot -- but didn't quite succeed. There may not be a lot of songs that are useless to the story, but the very first one, "Another Op'nin', Another Show" sure is and so is one of Porter's best songs ever, "Too Darn Hot." And it really bugs me.

Yeah, I enjoyed the show and really all the songs are wonderful, and the actors were great, especially the women who played Lilly/Katherine and Lois/Bianca and the show are extremely strong. I guess that why the non important song, like "Brush Up Your Shakespeare," bother me so much, the play is nearly perfect and these songs, as fun as they are, just take me right out of the story.

A Chorus Line:
Talk about you musical for those who love musicals.

It's all about the casting of a chorus for a play. It's one act of like 17 characters standing on an empty stage dancing, and talking about themselves or their love of dance, and practicing. And the dancing is amazing. From the perfect solo dances, to the practice groups where people misstep, to the high kicking finale.

Spectacular.

Snoopy!!! The Musical:
This play so wanted to be You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, but it just couldn't be and doesn't ever come close.

Frankly, to me, Snoopy is the most boring character in Peanuts. Yes I like his imagination, but everything always works out for him, or, if it doesn't, he just says it did and then moves on to something else. He's just so boring.

So is the play. Between the songs are short sketch like things that are supposed to be like a daily strip brought to life. Some of them are funny, but none of them connect to each other except that they include Charlie Brown, Lucy, Sally, Linus, Peppermint Patty, and Snoopy, other than that, nothing.

Most of the songs are light and airy and useless. Snoopy almost always sings about how great his life is or how great he is and how everything should focus on him.

And then there are the two songs that Focus on Peppermint Patty that completely mischaracterize the Peppermint Patty I remember from the strips. She has a crush on Charlie Brown. We all know it. (And yes, I'm aware of the lesbian jokes with her and Marcie, and even if Peppermint Patty's gay she can have a crush on a boy that's kind to her. I'm sure it happens all the time out there in the real world.) In the strips she constantly denied it, but she also called him up or sat under a tree with him and talked about love to him, but he never got the hint and she'd get frustrated. She'd never admit to the crush, though. But in this play she first asks him about her looks and when he mentions her big nose and how she might grow into it she then sings a song about how she wants her face to catch-up to her nose and later she sings Charlie Brown a song where she calls him "poor, sweet baby." It was all just so overt. The strip tended to balance her crush by having Marcie mock Peppermint Patty by insisting the crush was there. The play just has Peppermint Patty throw the crush in the audience's faces.

The last song, "Just One Person," while having a nice message, wasn't earned. You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown earned the sweetness of it's final song, "Happiness," by sort of tearing down Charlie Brown and showing him as a failure, so him and his friends finding happiness in little, everyday things was earned. This Snoopy!!! play shows some disappointment, but every time something happens to him, Snoopy turns it into a victory up to the point where he's actually proclaimed the Head Beagle. There is just too much winning to then delve into such a super sweet song.

The acting was decent. The guy who played Snoopy really hammed it up, but the woman who played Peppermint Patty was wonderful, I wish she'd had a bigger role in one of the other plays. It's too bad they had such a poor play to perform in.
And there we have it. All the plays I've seen in the last month, or so. It's pretty obvious which one I saw last, isn’t it? Here's hoping, if I'm still around then, next year is as enjoyable.

EXECUTIVE ORDER S-09-08

by the
Governor of the State of California

WHEREAS the constitutional deadline for enacting a state budget for Fiscal Year 2008-09 has passed without the enactment of a budget; and

WHEREAS in the absence of a budget, State government is constitutionally prohibited from making payments that are not compelled by either the State Constitution or federal law; and

WHEREAS until there is a state budget, the State has no authority to pay the following payments: (1) Vendors and Contractors for goods and services chargeable to Fiscal Year 2008-09; (2) Payroll for legislative staff, appointees, and exempt employees; (3) Payroll for other state employees beyond that required by federal labor law; (4) Highway User Taxes that are apportioned to the state, cities and counties for highway and road improvement projects; (5) Cal Grants to students in higher education; (6) Transfers to the Trial Courts; (7) Transfers to University of California, California State University, and Community Colleges; (8) Transportation Revolving Fund disbursements; (9) Non-revenue limit school payments; and (10) Payments for non-federally mandated social services programs such as Community Care Licensing, Adult Protective Services, State Only Foster Care; State Only Adoptions Assistance, and Cash Assistance Program for Immigrants; and (11) tax relief payments to low income seniors and disabled persons; and

WHEREAS on May 1, 2003, the California Supreme Court, in White v. Davis, issued a decision that, in conjunction with other pre-existing court orders, clarified that during a period that there is no state budget in place, federal labor laws require the State to pay its nonexempt FLSA employees either federal minimum wage or, for those employees that work overtime, their full salaries plus overtime; and

WHEREAS it is not known when a budget will be adopted for Fiscal Year 2008-09; and

WHEREAS as a result of the late budget, there is a real and substantial risk that the State will have insufficient cash to pay for state expenditures; and

WHEREAS since June 2008, the unprecedented number and size of fires in California has created states of emergency that have required additional and substantial expenditures of cash to ensure that there are sufficient resources to effectively fight these fires and save lives and homes; and

WHEREAS it is critical that the State be able to meet any unforeseen emergency such as fire, flood or public health emergency and to continue to make timely payments on constitutionally and federally-mandated obligations and existing obligations to pay holders of state bonds; and

WHEREAS due to the impending cash crisis and budget delay, the State may be forced to consider a Revenue Anticipation Warrant (RAW) at an exorbitant cost to the State, including hundreds of millions of dollars in credit enhancements, in order to make sure there is sufficient cash to pay for state expenditures; and

WHEREAS after the late adoption of a budget, there will be additional cash demands because all of the deferred payments that were not permitted to be made during the budget impasse will become due and payable; and

WHEREAS the late budget has resulted in loss of savings to the State in the amount of $164 million for July, and failure to enact a budget in August will result in additional loss of savings in the amount of $323 million; and

WHEREAS as a result of the late budget, additional mitigation measures must be implemented to offset the loss of savings and to ensure that there is sufficient cash to make the State's payments; and

WHEREAS the State employs nearly 22,000 retired annuitants, permanent intermittent employees, and seasonal employees and the State hires new employees at the rate of approximately 1,700 per month; and

WHEREAS except for services and functions of state government deemed critical by this Order, additional mitigation measures need to be taken to immediately reduce expenditures and preserve cash, including the following: (1) halting all hiring, transfers and promotions of employees, and contracting for individuals to perform services; (2) prohibition of overtime; (3) termination of the services of retired annuitants, permanent intermittent employees, seasonal employees, temporary help workers and, student assistants; and (4) suspension of personal services contracts.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, Governor of the State of California, in accordance with the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the statutes of the State of California, do hereby issue the following orders to become effective immediately:

IT IS ORDERED that the services and functions of state government directly related to the preservation and protection of human life and safety, including but not limited to emergency and disaster response activities and the provision of 24-hour medical care, shall be deemed critical and exempt from this Order.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that except for services and functions of state government deemed critical and exempt by this Order, all State agencies and departments under my direct executive authority take immediate action effective July 31, 2008 to cease and desist hiring of employees (except in instances in which there is a bona fide offer and acceptance prior to the effective date of this Order), transferring employees between State agencies and departments, promoting employees, and contracting for individuals to perform services.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that except for services and functions of state government deemed critical and exempt by this Order and emergent situations to preserve and protect human life and safety, all State agencies and departments under my direct executive authority take immediate action to cease and desist authorization of all overtime for employees effective July 31, 2008.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that except for services and functions of state government deemed critical and exempt by this Order, all State agencies and departments under my direct executive authority take immediate action to terminate the services of the following five categories of employees and individuals effective July 31, 2008: (1) Retired Annuitants; (2) Permanent Intermittent Employees; (3) Seasonal Employees; (4) Temporary Help Workers; and (5) Student Assistants.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that except for services and functions of state government deemed critical and exempt by this Order and except for services provided pursuant to multi-year contracts for Information Technology systems and services, all State agencies and departments under my direct executive authority take immediate action to suspend all personal services contracts effective July 31, 2008.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that all Agency Secretaries and Department Directors shall take immediate action to implement this Order, and any other action that will reduce state expenditures.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the Director of the Department of Finance shall establish an exemption process that Agency Secretaries shall utilize to determine if an exemption is justified based on critical services and functions, which may include either cost-reducing or revenue-producing services and functions that will help ensure that there is sufficient cash for the State to make its payments.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that Agency Secretaries and Cabinet-level Directors shall report their exemptions to the Cabinet Secretary and the Director of the Department of Finance within 24 hours of approving an exemption.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the Director of the Department of Finance and Director of the Department of Personnel Administration shall work with the State Controller to develop and implement the necessary mechanisms, including but not limited to pay letters and computer programs, to comply with the California Supreme Court's White v. Davis opinion to pay federal minimum wage to those nonexempt FLSA employees who did not work any overtime.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the necessary mechanisms to ensure compliance with the White v. Davis opinion must be in place to be effective for the August 2008 payroll.

IT IS HEREBY REQUESTED that during this budget impasse, the State Treasurer shall take all actions necessary to maintain the State's ability to pay its bond obligations, including payment of principal and interest with funds in the State Treasury, and shall take all actions that are necessary to protect the State's funds and investments.

IT IS FURTHER REQUESTED that other entities of State government not under my direct executive authority, including the California Public Utilities Commission, the University of California, the California State University, California Community Colleges, constitutional officers, the legislative branch (including the Legislative Counsel Bureau), and judicial branch, assist in the implementation of this Order and implement similar mitigation measures that will help to preserve the State's cash supply during this budget impasse.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that this Order shall remain in effect until such time as both a Fiscal Year 2008-09 Budget is adopted and the Director of the Department of Finance confirms an adequate cash balance exists to meet the State's fiscal obligations.

I FURTHER DIRECT that as soon as hereafter possible, this Order be filed in the Office of the Secretary of State and that widespread publicity and notice be given to this Order.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Great Seal of the State of California to be affixed this 31st day of July 2008.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Governor of California


ATTEST:


DEBRA BOWEN
Secretary of State