Wednesday, December 31, 2008


It's 15 minutes until I get to leave and I don't want to do any work. I don't want to play any games. I'd like to sit and read, but I don't think the guy in charge would appreciate that. Mostly, I'd like to be on my way to my apartment right now.

Not that I'm doing anything interesting tonight.

Still, being there sitting on my ass and watching the third season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is better than sitting here on my ass waiting to leave.


Starting Next Year

I have just been assured that the office I work for receives no money from the general fund. I won't be fired in January because I'm in the bottom 20% of seniority, then.

I will, however, starting in February, be forced to lose two days a month, or 10% of my paycheck.

It's a mixed blessing.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Answerin' Questions From Elsewhere

Swiped from Geewits because I want a post with little actual effort on my part.

If you could be any character in fiction, whom would you be?
Arthur from The Tick. Crazy adventures, wings, licking a monolith. Yeah, I think I'd make a pretty good moth sidekick.

If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?
Edward Norton. He's way better looking than I am and he can do funny pretty well, and I rather the movie of my life be a comedy. If I had to go with someone closer to my own age, though, I'd choose Gregory Smith.

If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
Who the hell is this guy? --or-- Really? Him?

If you had to be shipwrecked on a deserted island, but all your human needs - such as food and water - were taken care of, what two items would you want to have with you?
I assume the rule is that I can't choose a boat, right? Anyway,a satellite phone and a GPS thingy so that when I get bored of being on the island I can call to leave.

If you had six months with no obligations or financial constraints, what would you do with the time?
I'm going to say that I'd travel all over the world, but more likely I'd sit in my apartment watching TV and wondering what the hell I'm doing with my free time and life in general.

If you had only six months left to live, what would you do with the time?
Say good-bye to the people I care about then disappear.

If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be, and why?
If I could clearly understand the person, and be understood by the person, I'd choose the person who wrote the plays of Shakespeare, be it actually Shakespeare or Marlow or some other person because I find the work interesting and I want to know why he choose the subjects he picked and see if he'd be able to understand why The Merchant of Venice isn't seen as a comedy after hearing about what happened in the 1930s and 40s.

If you could compare yourself with any animal, which would it be and why?
I guess a panda because I sit and eat and look like I'm contemplating things even though I'm just trying to remember the lyrics to The Jeffersons.

Monday, December 29, 2008


No pictures up from Mom for Christmas. I hope that means she's using her new oxygen concentrator to make beads. It'll be good for her to get back to it.

Nothing else to report.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas Meme

Stolen from Jazz.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Paper. Bags may be easy, but they are boring. I like to rip paper and I like to hear other people rip the paper. Then I like to watch the cats wrestle and bat balls of paper around the room.

2. Real tree or artificial?
I have no Christmas tree. I've even wrote about why I have no tree, or other decorations, a couple of years ago. If I had a tree I'd probably get an artificial because it's cheaper and easier, even though I prefer real ones for their texture and smell.

3. When do you put up the tree?
I don't. When we were kids there never was a set date. Usually it was after the Cub Scout tree sale and then when that was gone it was whenever a tree happened to be bought.

4. When do you take the tree down?
I don't.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Fuck! NO! Horrible tongue coating grease drink.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Can't remember the best gift. The bike was a really good one, though.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
My dad. He doesn't like to give hints. Some year, I really will give him a bottle of Triflow.

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Me, if I have the cash.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
No. I could probably make one with some old action figures, though.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
That's assuming I send out Christmas cards. Which I don't. I'm cheap and lazy, both of which mean I'm not sending these things out.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
The closest thing to "worst" I can remember are the years where I liked what my brothers got more than what I got.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
The two main family tradition movies are A Christmas Story and George C. Scott's version of A Christmas Carol. I think my favorite, so far, is Christmas Vacation, though.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
This year I started when I got back from Thanksgiving, but I had been thinking about it for a month or so before I started and had most of the gifts figured out.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
I haven't ever giving a gift I got to someone else, but I've probably put a gift in the recycling.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Pretty much whatever I put in my mouth. There are so many yummy things why only pick one favorite?

16. Lights on the tree?
I like lights on trees.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy"

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I travel to my parents' house and my grandparents' house, but it don't travel, travel.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?
Yes, I can.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
I have no tree. At the parents' it's usually an angel, one Mom made or a lighter on that I think she didn't make.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Morning. Eve is for forcing kids to sleep, even though their so excited they really won't, but they have to be good, don't they.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Those morons who make a big deal about the difference between "Happy Holidays" and "Merry Christmas." And the morons are on both sides of the fight.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
I always like it when Hallmark did Star Trek ornaments. I never owned them, but I liked the idea of multiple Enterprises on a tree.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
See the answer to #15.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
A better job.

Also, to hear a good joke concerning Santa's huge sack and how he whips it out to make kids happy.

Friday, December 19, 2008


The question is: Is the DWC, which I work for, part of the General Fund?

If it it, odds are that I'm in the bottom 20% in the seniority. Happy Christmas to me and my co-workers!

Monday, December 15, 2008


I got back from some (useful) training in O'Town about an hour ago and I should really be doing some work. I don't wanna, though.

If my supervisor hadn't gone to the training, too, I wouldn't have come back to work today. I would have headed right back to my apartment, turned on the heater, pulled on comfy pants, and done nothing important.

As for that thing I wrote about last Wednesday, it didn't happen. On Thursday, I left work early, for my appointment, and when I got back to my apartment there was a message on my machine from the psychiatrist telling me he had a meeting that afternoon and he'd already taken the liberty of rescheduling me for Tuesday. At least he remembered that I preferred afternoon appointment because it's really hard to go to work after crap.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Dear Lady Who Lives Behind Me,

I am not a parent and I don't personally know you. I write that because I want you to know that I don't know the specifics of your life or child rearing.

Still, I don't think 11 PM is the most appropriate time to bathe your two children and yell at them, probably because they're having fun in the tub an you just want to get the bath over with, but I can't be too sure of that since I don't understand much Spanish. I'm not writing this just because you and the kids are loud when bath time happens, even though that's the main reason. No, I'm also writing this because, and maybe it's just me, I think that it's a good idea that kids, especially young kids, need to get to sleep early so they have plenty of rest. Also, it's not a bad idea to start getting them ready for school type hours since they will start going in a couple of years.

You probably don't think it's my place to pry. And you may be right. Still, I like to sleep through the night and bath noise and yelling don't help and I do, on occasion, think about other people.

Also, those nights when there isn't a bath and you play with the kids at 11 PM, I'd like that to stop. Yes the loud laughing is annoying and wakes me up, but every time play happens at night one of the kids ends up crying and you end up yelling. And there's crying and yelling for a while, then there's a minute or two of silence before more crying and more yelling. Oh, eventually everything settles down, but it still disturbs my already strained sleep.

Your Brother in Slumber,

Monday, December 08, 2008


I am anxious about my appointment to see the psychiatrist on Thursday.

Why am I seeing a psychiatrist? Well, when I went to speak to my general practitioner about getting on an anti-depressant, I freaked her out by being honest. Not my normal sort of honest where I leave more scary bits out to make me sound like I'm better off than I think I am, but totally honest. Like I wrote before, it freaked her out.

After our talk, she left the room to call the psychiatric department to get me an appointment the next day and then gave me a number to call as soon as I got to my apartment. I called the number and it turned out to be the emergency psychiatric help line and the woman I talked to started out by trying to convince me to head up to the psychiatric center and getting a room, there, for the night. After explaining myself to her, by telling her the same things I told the GP earlier just more slowly, she agreed that I could stay in my apartment as long as I'd go and see the psychiatrist the next day, which I had already told the GP I'd do.

I went. I told him the same stuff that I told the other people the day before. He wanted me in a group situation. (I went to a class the next week. I signed up for a group that starts in January.) He set up an appointment for me with him for this Thursday.

This time, I have no idea what we're going to talk about.

I have nothing new to say.

I don't feel or think anything different after four weeks of it.

Will it just be a waste of a co-pay?

I know, it'll be what I make of it, right? It's up to me to turn this into something positive for me, right? It's a fucking choice that I have to fucking make, right?

Well, shit.

I'll see what comes.

It's what I do.

I go to sleep. I wake up. I go to work. I leave work. I go to sleep. And I see what it was.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

How I Remember the Trip to Oregon

I packed everything up Sunday afternoon and moved it down to my car. The plan was to get back from work on Monday, pee, change my shirt, and leave around 5:30 to head to the hotel near Cowcity. My mom called to confirm what time they were leaving Cowtown. Dad said that they were leaving at 4PM, which was great because it takes them between 60 and 90 minutes more to reach Cowcity than it takes me.

When I got to my apartment on Monday I saw my answering machine flashing and hoped it was just a wrong number. It was my mom. She called just before five to let me know that they hadn't left yet; that someone was still packing. I stomped around my apartment for a while before heading off to the toilette and then to get a clean shirt. After changing I picked up my phone and called the parent's cell phone to find out where they were. They were maybe 25 minutes away from their house. I hung up, stomped around some more, then settled in front of the TV to watch, and sing a long with, Sweeney Todd. I didn't really pay attention, though. I was antsy. After thirty, or so, minutes I got up, put on my sweatshirt and headed out.

The drive was easy, traffic wasn't bad. When I got the motel my parents' car wasn't there, so I looked for a pay phone to call 'em. Got a hold of them and was told they'd be there in 15 minutes. I went to the Wendy's across the street to get some junk grub and wait. Thirty-ish minutes later, they were pulled into the parking lot and waved to me.

The motel was okay, but no one seemed to sleep very well. I blame it on the pillows. I don't like pillows that are so fluffy they make me sit up in bed or are so soft that when you put your head in the center it sinks and the two parts of the pillow to the left and right fluff up above you ears and get really hot. So, although the alarm and wake-up call were set to happen at 4, we were all up at 3:30 and ready to go by 4.

The airport was easy, but what else should one expect at 4:30 in the morning? We sat and waited until we could board. Then we boarded, which was a bit odd because we actually walked out onto the tarmac and walked up a ramp to the plane's door. I had an easterly window, so I watched the sun rise, sort of, as we flew. The sun was bright red as we came down into Portland. It was quite chilly, to me, when we got off the plane, only 39 degrees. Also, the flight time, a little over an hour, was shorter than my drive to Cowcity the night before.

We got our rental car and headed out of town going west to take the North Coast Highway (Which is Highway 101. In California, we call Highway 1 the Pacific Coast Highway.) We drove though hills and saw some great trees. I thought, based on the trees and other foliage that we were about 5000 feet above sea level, but the signs we saw showed we weren't ever much above 2000 feet. The river that flowed along the road was colored aqua, instead of the slime green of California’s rivers, and I counted at least five waterfalls pouring into it.

Breakfast was had a ways outside Tillamook, where the cheese is from, at a place called Alice's Country Restaurant, or something like that, so I hummed my way through the food. We smelled many cows, but didn't stop by the dairy for free samples. We did, however, stop at an old blimp hanger from WWII and looked at a bunch of planes. (They even had a MiG-17 and an F-14! And most of the planes are in working condition.) The hanger was built of wood and was about 200 feet tall, 300 feet wide, and 1000 feet long. It was amazing, but so very cold. The front door was open and the wind was a howlin'.

Tillamook was where we turned south and drove along the coast, sort of. It seemed like there were long periods of time when we were far from the coast. My parents and I chatted. We mocked the town that's called Hebo (I decided that it was founded by homosexual Jews). We pulled over in some other town to stretch and look out at the ocean and watch the birds fight and poop.

Eventually, we made it to my brother's house. We met the dog and the kitten. We toured the house. We drove to brother's girlfriend's school and toured her classroom. (She teaches kindergarten.) We saw the 'Bucks my brother works at and had the good pizza place pointed out to us. They all ate lentil soup for dinner, I had a sandwich with leftover chicken and cheese and pickles. We talked and eventually went to bed. My parents were in the guest room and I took the couch with three blankets, none of which were long enough for my body. The night was chilly and a bit restless.

Wednesday morning brother's girlfriend went to school early, since she hadn't prepared anything. I had a very fuzzy shirt due to all the animal hair left on the couch. After cleaning up, my family went shopping. Let me tell you, it's an odd thing to watch your parents spend several hundred dollars on your brother. Yes, I had fun walking around with them and mocking people and things in the store. My brothers and I have always been able to fall into an easy groove where everything is mock-able and our parents are good at it, too. Yes, I was happy that my brother was getting things that would help with his new life with his new, and possibly long term, partner. And, yes, knowing that my parents could afford doing this thrilled me because they can and it made them happy. But, still, a not small portion of me was wicked jealous and kept on screaming, "WHY NOT ME?! I WANT STUFF, TOO!" (They did give me money to cover parking and gas and they paid for the motel and my plane ticket.) We made three shopping trips that day and filled up the rental car completely the first two times. The second trip was for groceries. The third was to get the stuff we didn't realize we needed after putting everything away. As the sun set, we walked down to the beach (There are beaches in that part of Oregon.) where the tide was low. I'd have liked to be there during the day, but it was still quite lovely. Dinner was at an all night diner, where they have mighty fine burgers. That night I put a sheet on the couch to lessen the hair problem and used two blankets that were longer than I am tall. I was warm.

Thanksgiving we all got up a little later than we probably should have. Baking needed to be done before the turkey went in and it wasn't done until later than hoped. We thought we'd eat around 2, so brother's girlfriend told her family, who had driven in from Washington and another part of Oregon, were told to be there then. At first we were worried about dinner not being ready then, but all figured the snackie foods would take care of that. They didn't show up then, though. They showed up just before the turkey was pulled out of the oven. We mingled and ate and mingled and mingled until the parent's of the baby got fussy and left with the brother's girlfriend's parents in tow. We cleaned up and chatted and went to bed.

Friday brother's girlfriend went out with her mom and sister to get their feet done. My family tried to walk to the fossil place on the beach, but the tide was in. So, we turned around and started walking to the lighthouse out on the point. About halfway to the point where we turned around, I got really dizzy and never quite recovered. I kept walking, though. We didn't make it to the lighthouse, as suggested a couple of sentences ago, but we did make it to a lookout point where we could see sea lions lounging on a rock. We headed back without reaching the lighthouse because we had an appointment to meet with a family friend that afternoon. She used to live down the street from my grandparents and was friends with my grandma. We used to swim in her pool during the summer. We toured her house and then she took us down to the waterfront and pier. On the way, she pointed out where my grandma blew chunks when she visited. We listened to the sea lions bark and smelled the stink of boat engines and rotting crab parts. We looked at all the interesting boats (one was named Ceres, which seemed like an odd name for a boat, to me) and I teased a few gulls. Brother's girlfriend's mother joined us for dinner, homemade enchiladas rolled by my brother. We played cards while a fussy baby was passed around.

When I woke up on Saturday, my insides were screaming, "TIME TO GO! YOU'VE USED UP YOUR WELCOME! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE BEFORE THEY HATE YOU!" Of course I couldn’t leave since it was my parents' rental car and the flight out wasn't until Sunday evening. So, when the rest of the people in the house went out to the fossil place and the lighthouse, with the dog, I stayed behind and read and played with the kitten (not a euphemism). They got back and started turkey soup. Brother's girlfriend's parents came over and we all headed out to a beach farther south so people could dig for agate. I mostly stood around and watched the waves crash against the rocks around us. Brother had read the charts wrong and the tide was coming in while we were there. We all ate soup together for dinner and when we finished the rest played cards while I read some more.

Sunday we woke and showered and cleaned up and hugged our way out the door before heading west to take the inland route back to Portland. Take it from me: the interior of Oregon is a lot less interesting to look at than the hill and coastal route we drove on Tuesday. We got to the airport early and waited and waited and our plane landed when we were originally supposed to board, so we left late. The airport was covered in fog, but we quickly broke through it when the plane took off and all of Portland sparkled below us as we flew south. I spent the rest of the flight reading and trying to ignore the inane chatter of the high school freshmen behind me.

The plane landed and we got our luggage and caught the transit to the parking. We hugged our good-byes and headed out. Parking was $76. At that moment, I really wished we had parked out in the economy section. Fast food was purchased for dinner and eaten as I drove. Unsafe, I know. I made it to my apartment some time after 10, I'm not sure exactly when. I pulled my stuff out of the car, brushed my teeth, emptied my bladder, and went to bed.

Oh, also on this trip, I caught a cold. My throat tickled on Saturday and soared up on Sunday. Monday my nose started leaking and my throat was raw. On Tuesday, my throat felt better, but my nose was leaking more juice. Yesterday, my snot thickened and I started to have a slight cough. Today, my cough has gotten heavier and the flem has migrated down to my throat. I expect that tomorrow I'll be hacking like mad and my lungs will have that heavy mucus feeling.

I'm sure I left stuff out and family may be by to add to what I have here. Still, this is what I remember of the trip.

Monday, December 01, 2008

My Blogs Personality

From Typealyzer.

ESTP - The Doers

The active and play-ful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities.

The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.