Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Beginning's End

The month has come to an end and it seems that the only thing I have accomplished is renewing my car insurance. Yes, my car is insured, as long as I keep up with the payments, for another six months.

If I wanted to lie to everyone, I'd say that next month will be different. That it'll be better. I'll do more things that I want to do. I'll be promoted at work, or get hired at a better job. I'll go on dates every weekend. I'll win the lottery. I'll become thin.

But we all know that's not really going to happen.

I'll do nothing too interesting. I'll stay at the same job in the same position. I won't go an any dates. Winning the lottery will continue to elude me. And I'll remain as rotund as ever.

The date is ever changing, but apparently I'm not.

I wonder if there's an albatross around my neck?

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Bagel, With No Midgets

At work, one of the customers asked the girl at the register, "Why is it called a 'water bagel'?"

She said, "Oh, that's because they boil the bagel in water, instead of frying it in oil."

"You learn something new every day," said the customer as it, since most customers aren't really people, walked away.

How many of you have had a crispy bagel, that wasn't toasted or sitting out for a couple of days? I know I've never had a crispy bagel that I didn't make crispy.

Later, I was pestering another employee about animals she'd be willing to have as pets. She claims to like animals, but not in people homes. The only pets worth having, according to her, are dogs and turtles. All other reptiles suck. Birds are pointless. Horses are overrated. Cats are spoiled over grown rats. Rodents should be thrown into the ocean, since they should never be used for food. Spiders are creepy. And livestock should only be used to produce milk and meat.

Then she went on her break.

When she came back, she told the other person on the floor that she liked people. People are okay.

I was making a drink. After calling it out, I suddenly heard, "No. No I do not want a midget. No midgets." I fell to the floor laughing. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. I didn't even notice that I was in a milk puddle.

I'd still be there, on the floor, if I didn't hate the place so much.

Monday, June 28, 2004


"When I'm thirty years old I'll look back on this day as a turning point. This day changed my life. Everyone has a day like that."

I don't think I've had a day like that.

Sunday, June 27, 2004


One of the coworkers came back from vacation today. It's been three weeks since she last worked. Three. Weeks. It doesn't feel like three week. It feels like only a few days.

I don't think not remember fifteen to eighteen days is a good thing. In fact, I think it's a horrible thing. The only evidence that I've done anything during this time are my blog posts and my school work. Nothing else.


Also, I found out today that the guy who I congratulated on leaving 'Bucks didn't quit, he was asked to resign his position. Of course the girl he's fucking isn't going to be asked to resign, nor will she be outright fired, maybe it's because she's a shift supervisor. She (and another shift) get away with everything though. Now this is messed up. If your gonna punish one, you should punish the other. Why don't they do that?

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Lotsa Pages

It's not often a person gets to post a twenty odd page entry on his or her blog, is it. Most people seem to go for that one paragraph, five or six sentence thing, in which they, hopefully, make a witty observation about politics or life or games or people or something. I don't think I achieve that wit thing very often on this page. When it comes to wit, I usually leave it to the comics I paste here.

That's not to say that I've never done it. I bet I have. I don't want to go through the hundred odd posts I've made to find out, I'm just lazy that way.

So, I've been out of bed for nearly two hours. This morning is moving very slowly. I don't know what's up with it. I don't understand why it's going so slowly. Maybe it's because I don't have to be to work until after one and my brain is trying to make it seem like I have more time than I actually do have. Stupid brain. I'd rather it be moving quickly so I can get my day over with so I can get tomorrow started and over with so I can get Monday started and over with and on and on and on.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Now play Classical Gas."

Friday, June 25, 2004

A Test In Patience

Yes, a test for me and you. Part of the test is the horrible long scroll (which I tried my best to get rid of) that exists on the page. I don't know how to get rid of it. The rest of my test is done. I translated this thing from a WordPerfect document into html, by actually typing the code because everything else kept fucking up, for the past hour or two (it was a nice way to practice wasting time). After the scrolling, the rest of your test is to actually read this and give some sort of feedback. No feedback (via the comments or e-mail), no pass test.

"What is it?" those of you who haven't run yet may be asking. It's the teaser and first two acts of an episode of Star Trek: Voyager I wrote during the show's final season. I found it while going through old things I've written. I thought that I had finished it (I've probably been lying to myself for several years about finishing it), but only found this much done. I did a bit of editing to make it all, I hope, better than it was before.

What I planned for the rest of the episode follows as well as a little rant about the end of Voyager.

Good luck.

Oh, and all characters and Voyager and Star Trek and whatnot are copyright and trademarked to Paramount Pictures, so I don't get sued and have them take away my DVDs and computer and such after they win.
One Giant Leap For...
By Josh Fitzwater




Voyager is stopped in space. Nothing special can be seen, only stars and the Milky Way.
Nelix’s log, stardate... uh... stardate... um. Well, I’m not quite sure. With all of the excitement of the last few weeks I guess I’ve lost track of the date.

Nelix is walking through corridors, smiling widely, the member of the crew he passes are smiling as well. As he passes he pats shoulders, shakes hands, shares unheard happy thoughts. When his voice over ends he enters the turbolift.
About three weeks ago it was announced to the crew that we were approaching the boarder of the Beta Quadrant. The first “landmark” that the crew has had in the past six years. Well, the first one that they recognize, at least. And today, is the day we cross it.

All stations are full. The viewscreen show the open space in front of them. On the bridge are Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Harry, and Tom in their standard positions, the rest of the stations are filled with extras. Nelix enters from the turbolift.
Well, Mr. Nelix, is everything ready?

Yes, Captain, just give the word.

Janeway to transporter rooms one and two. On my command begin transport.


Aye, aye.
During the following speech cut to key parts of the ship—mess hall, main engineering, sickbay, etc.—to show the reactions of crew in those places, be sure to show faces of the cast. Doctor is in sickbay, Torres in engineering. Seven is in astrometrics. Focus back on Janeway when the Romulans are mentioned.
Janeway to the crew of Voyager. My friends... my... family. Today we take a meaningful step toward home. It’s not out largest step. It’s not our fastest step. But, perhaps, it’s our most important step. Three thousand kilometers in front of us is what the Federation stellar cartography science committee has declared the official boarder between the Delta Quadrant and the Beta Quadrant. We are closer than ever to territory that has been mapped.

Closer than ever to our homes. After we cross this boarder, things aren’t likely to get any easier. We still have plenty of space to cover. More unknown races to meet. More worlds to explore. And we must remember that the Romulan Empire is between the Federation and us; which means we may be meeting some of their long range and science vessels. But, I hope, that’s years away.
Mr. Paris, take us ahead, full impulse. When we cross the boarder, warp six.

Aye. Course laid in.


Voyager moves forward. After a few beats it jumps to warp.

We still have a long way to go, but I know we’ll make it.

(Beat, on a bittersweet look on her face.)
Transporter rooms, energize.
Cut around to the same rooms as before, platters of “party food” and drinks beam in, ending with the beam in on the bridge.
For now, however, enjoy yourselves. You’ve earned it.





It’s late, few people in the mess hall and they keep leaving during the scene. Nelix is cleaning up behind his counter. He looks up and grins. As the voice over ends he walks over to Tom and Harry, who are sitting at a table.
Nelix’s log stardate 54103.8. It’s been three days since we crossed over into the Beta Quadrant, and I’ve never seen the crew this happy. If they keep it up for much longer, there won’t be any need for a moral officer anymore.

(Claps both of them each on a shoulder.)
Anything else for you two this evening?

Thanks, no. I was just about to leave for my nightly duty.

(Pulls up a chair and sitting.)

(To Tom)

Nightly duty?

The bridge. He’s in charge of the night shift, remember?

Really? I thought he gave that up years ago.
Harry's embarrased, but Tom and Nelix ignore him.
Harry, give it up? Never. He’s still pushing for the captain’s chair before he’s thirty; his own captain’s chair that is.

And don’t forget the lovely Ensign Jenkins.

You can remember that Jenkins is the pilot on the night shift, but you can’t remember about me, huh? Your doing wonders for my morale here, Nelix.

I only know that Jenkins works nights because she always reminds me that she doesn’t want coffee in the morning, it wouldn’t let her sleep.

And we must remember she is lovely.

(To Harry)
Which reminds me, why haven’t you done anything about her?

What do you mean, “done anything about her”?

Don’t play coy with me, Harry.
Harry has an oblivious look on his face.
(Nudging Tom)
I don’t think he’s playing, Tom. Look at him. He doesn’t know.


I don’t know what?

It’s the Delanys all over again.

(To Tom. Quick, defensive)
What does that mean?


(To Tom, slower than Harry)
What does that mean?

(To Nelix)
He fell in love with the wrong sister.


(Still to Tom)

(Still to Nelix)
He really did. Jenny (Megan?) gave him plenty of opportunities, too. You should have seen the way she looked at him during our Captain Proton adventures. You could see that she was practically begging him to ask her out after each one. But wonder boy here never got the hint; he kept pining after Megan (Jenny?), and now Jenny’s (Megan’s?) dating... what’s-his-name?

(To Tom)
I’m not sure.
(To Harry)
You’re not going to let the same thing happen to poor Jenkins, are you?

Let what happen to poor Jenkins?

You’re not going to let her get away.

What do you mean? She doesn’t like me.

Oh, please. Hasn’t she been the night pilot since we first got here, almost seven years ago?

Are there any other crew members who have stuck with the night duty for seven years, besides you?

Don’t her days off just happen to coincide with the nights your not playing captain?

Aren’t you ever going to get around to asking her out?
Harry sputters for an answer, Tom and Nelix are on the verge of laughter, when Tuvok walks in, carrying a Padd, and heads over to Nelix.
Excuse me gentlemen.

(To Nelix)
Is the galley closed, or are you just whiling away your many hours?

For you, commander, the galley is always open.

(Relief on his face)
Tuvok, you’re a lifesaver.
Harry hightails it out of the mess hall. Tom bursts into laughter.
What was that about?

Just discussing Harry’s love life.

You know, doing some matchmaking.

(Walking over to the counter)
Speaking of matchmaking, commander, we’ve been on this ship almost seven years now, should we be trying to find a match for you?

I don’t know what your talking about.

I think you do, but you’re too embarrassed to talk about it. Don’t worry your Vulcan head though, I’ll find you a nice girl.

I assure you, Mr. Nelix, that if I needed to find a “match,” as you put it, I am very capable of finding my own.

I’m sure you are, Mr. Vulcan.
Nelix rummages around, getting a tray ready. Tuvok reviews the Padd.
Whatcha reading there?

I am reviewing the results of the last Starfleet security protocol test I gave to young Icheb.

Well now, how did he do?

Remarkable, so far.


(From his seat)
Not surprising, considering the hardware in his head.

(Not looking up from his Padd.)
Not necessarily, Mr. Paris, it could be a natural ability of his race.

(Moving toward the counter)
Tuvok, we met his people. I don’t think that it’s a natural ability.

(Still not looking up from his Padd.)
The people we met were living on the frontier, they have had no time to develop their intellect as Icheb has. I doubt they are representative of their race.

I suppose your right, Tuvok.

(To Nelix, who is still preparing Tuvok’s tray.)
Anyway, this talk of Icheb reminded me, Nelix, I have a great idea to teach him all about starships.

(Putting the finishing touches on the tray.)
And what’s your “great” idea?

My idea is, now get this, that he and I repair and upgrade your little ship.

Repair... and upgrade... my ship?

Yeah! Isn’t it a great idea?

(Giving the finished tray to Tuvok.)
Here you go, commander, enjoy your meal.

Thank you.
Tuvok takes the tray and sits down. Nelix starts cleaning up behind the counter.
Well? What do you think?

I don’t know. What kinds of “upgrades” were you thinking of?

Nothing wild. Upgrade your computer. A new sensor system. Increase your engine efficiency. Add a weapons system that could actually do something if push came to shove. You know, make it a bit more... uh... modern.

You mean more like the Delta Flyer?

Not exactly. We’d be using a lot of the same technology. You know, a bit from the Federation here, a bit from the Borg there, and anything else that might be useful.

Sounds like a great idea. When do we get started?

We? Uh... I was hoping it would be me and Icheb. I mean, I know how busy you are, and I don’t want to take you away from your duties and all that.

Oh, I get it. You’re afraid that I won’t let you do everything you want to do to my ship, right?
Tom nods sheepishly.
I’ll stay out of it if you allow someone else help in place of me.

And who would that be?

Naomi Wildman.

Naomi Wildman? What for? She’s just a kid.

A kid that wants to join Starfleet as soon as she’s old enough. I think this would be a big help. Besides, it’s the only way I’ll let you tinker on my ship.

Okay, okay. Naomi can join us, but I’m not going to get permission from her mother or the captain, you’re going to have to do that.

Don’t worry about Samantha, she’ll allow it. And I think I know just how to take care of the captain. Do I need to get permission for Icheb too?

No. The captain has already said that anything that’ll prepare him for Starfleet is okay by her.

Good. Computer, where is Captain Janeway?

Captain Janeway is in her quarters.

Good. Computer, is she sleeping?

Her vital signs indicate that she is awake.

Good, good. Tom, I’ll meet you at the shuttle bay with Naomi at say—

I’ll contact you.

Alright then, have a good evening. And say hello to the lovely wife fore me.
Nelix tosses takes his apron off, tosses it behind the counter and exits.


Captain Janeway is reading a book, in her room when the door chimes. It startles her. She chooses to ignore it, hoping the person will just go away. The door chimes twice more before:
Nelix to Captain Janeway, I know your awake, the computer told me so. Please let me in.
Janeway goes to the door and taps the panel, the door opens, Nelix is standing there looking excited.
Oh, pardon me. Is this a bad time?

(A bit flustered at the question.)
No, Mr. Nelix, this isn’t. Why don’t you come in and tell me whatever you needed to say to me.

Thank you.

Well, captain, have you heard of Tom’s idea to, uh, upgrade my ship?

I believe I overheard him mentioning it to Seven on the bridge this morning.

(She sits and motions for Nelix to sit as well)
What about it?

Well, he wants to do this as a way to teach Icheb the ins and outs of how a starship is built and maintained, first hand. Which I think is a wonderful idea.

So do I. Now, what’s your problem?

It’s not a problem, so much, as a request.

And that would be?

I’d like it if you’d assign Naomi Wildman to help Tom and Icheb.

Naomi Wildman?

Yes, Naomi. I think this is an ideal project for her and if you assigned–-

But Naomi’s just a child. She’s not even six years old.

What does that matter? She’s the captain’s girl, isn’t she?

Yes, she is, but that’s more on a honorary position. She doesn’t really do anything.

All the more reason for you to assign her to this project. It’ll make her feel more useful. All she does is her homework and play with Flauter, since the other children left. She needs something to occupy her time. This way she’ll learn something, and get to make weekly reports to the captain on it’s progress. Now she’ll really get to be the captain’s girl.

I see your point, Nelix. I’ll give her the assignment tomorrow morning, and tell her to report to Tom for the times they will be working.

And you’ll read her weekly reports?

And I’ll read her weekly reports.

Now, I’m assuming that you’ve already gotten her mother’s approval of this.

Um. . . not quite yet.

You see, it’s late, and I didn’t want to disturb Samantha after she’s had a long day.
(He notices the look Janeway is giving him.)
I also thought it best to get you to agree to this first, that way I could throw your name around a bit, get her to agree faster.

Very wise, Nelix. Was there anything else?

Nothing, unless you have something you want to talk about.

No. I just want to get back to my reading.

(She gestures to her book.)

Oh, yes. Of course. Well goodni–
The ship suddenly rocks, causing Janeway and Nelix to bounce a bit. The red alert comes on.
Kim to all senior officers, please come to the bridge.

Tom and Tuvok are already at their positions. Harry is standing in front of the captain’s chair. Nelix and Janeway exit the turbolift.
What’s going on here?

Captain, there’s some sort of subspace interference in front of us.

It’s destabilized our warp field. We can’t go to warp until we’re several million kilometers away.

Why didn’t the sensors warn us about this?

Because it just appeared. We had no warning.

Very well. Mr. Kim, get to your station and tell me if there is any way through this, and if there isn’t, I want to know how large it is.

(Moving to his post)
Chakotay exits the turbolift and stops in front of his chair.
What’s going on?

Some sort of interference collapsed our warp field.
The ship starts to shake
Captain, the interference is growing stronger.

What’s causing this?

Something is emerging from subspace.



It appears to be a... ship.


Voyager is stopped, in front of it, special effects happen, and a ship, that looks like the Borg vessel from The Next Generation episodes “Decent I & II,” appears.






Voyager stopped in space with the “Decent” ship in front of it.



Bridge crew is all there–Janeway, Chakotay, Harry, and Tom–in their positions. Nelix is on the bridge too; he’s standing behind the railing to the right of Janeway.
What kind of a ship is that?

I don’t know. My scans won’t penetrate the hull. It’s not generating a warp field. I can’t pick up any recognizable energy signatures.

Tuvok, open hailing frequencies.

Wait. I think recognize this configuration.

(He sits in his chair, looks at the screen between his seat and the captain’s seat and plays with it.)
Here it is. Captain, it appears that ship is a Borg vessel.

What? That’s like no Borg ship we’ve ever seen. Tuvok, raise shields and arm phasers.

The database says that it is a Borg ship, Captain. From a mission that the Enterprise was involved in seven years ago.

(To herself)
The Enterprise, why is it always the Enterprise?
(To the crew)
Alright, I need options. What’s their fire power? Can we outrun them? Tom, get ready for evasive maneuv–

Captain, they’re hailing us.

Open a channel.

Channel open.

This is Captain Kathryn Janeway from the United Federation of Planets starship, Voyager. We are not in the mood to fight with you today, but we will fight if necessary.

They are responding.

On screen.
On the screen appears a humaniod face with Borg implants similar to Seven's, but this humanoid has a full Borg eyepiece.
Greetings, Captain Janeway. I am Am’talia, commander of the Borg Confederation vessel Omakah.

Did you say a Federation starship?


From the Alpha Quadrant?


I take it you are familiar with the Federation.

Familiar? Of course I’m familiar with the Federation. Without the help of a Federation starship, the Enterprise, the Borg Confederation would still be under the control of the android Lore; we wouldn’t be the peaceful explorers we are today. We are indebted to you.

To us? Don’t you mean you are indebted to the Enterprise and her crew.

Yes, we are indebted to the Enterprise and any other Federation starship. You’re far from the Federation, do you need assistance?

Yes, we are far from the Federation, very far. And, yes, would could use some assistance. We are trying to get back. Perhaps you have a spare transwarp coil which we can trade for?

We don’t use transwarp any longer. We want to avoid contact with the Collective, by any means necessary. We don’t want to get assimilated. Instead of transwarp drive, we use subspace corridors.

Like the Vaadwaur.

The who?

(Stepping forward)
The Vaadwaur. A species, we met them several thousand light-years back, that used subspace corridors to explore and conquer pieces of the Delta Quadrant centuries ago, including my home world. We inadvertently reintroduced them–-

That’s enough Mr. Nelix. Commander Am’talia, how long has the–-Borg Confederation, you called it?–-been out of contact with the Collective?

Eight years, Captain.

Eight years, you say. Well, it’s safe to assume that the Borg have made some pretty impressive assimilations since that time. I have a proposal for you. We have had some recent contact with the Borg, and we will give you all the information we have on their technology, including the opportunity to scan a former drone, for the ability to travel the subspace corridors, and any maps of corridors heading toward the Federation you are willing to share.

Your offer is. . . intriguing.

(“Discusses” it with the crew of the ship by closing her good eye and concentrating.)
We accept.

Very good. Now, if you’d lower your shields, we’ll be happy to beam you, and any crew you need to, Voyag–-

That’s unnecessary, captain. We’d prefer to come to your ship under our own power. And I will be the only one beaming aboard.

Very well, Commander. I’m also going to assign Voyager’s ambassador, Mr. Nelix here, to take you to sick bay and present you with any information that you may need.

That is acceptable. Now, if you will allow me, I’ll transport right now.

Very well. I’ll send Nelix to the transporter room now.

That will be unnecessary.
A green light shimmers around Am'talia. After the light clears, Am'talia no longer appears on the view screen. A beat later, the green light shimmers on the bridge and Am'talia is standing there. Am'talia is dressed in normal clothers and looks like a normal humaniod, except for the occasional Borg implant, the full eyepiece, and a full Borg arm, which reaches below the knee.
We are more than capable of transporting ourselves.
On the angry and surprised look on Janeway’s face, we


So, there it is. That's what I wrote.

The rest of the episode goes something like this:

Act 3 & 4 was to have Nelix take Am'talia to sickbay where information was to be traded, Seven was to be scanned (as well as give up some nanoprobes), and Nelix would be scanned and have his blood drawn because he would have slipped and said that every week he gets a dose of nanoprobes because they brought him back to life after he died. The Doctor would be wonderfully pompous around Am'talia, but become extremely curious when he finds out that Am'talia was a medical drone on the original cube. Act 4 ends with Am'talia and Nelix back on the bridge when a Borg Cube exits transwarp and opens fire on Voyager.

Act 5 is the fight. Voyager firing at the sphere. The Cube noticing the other ship and insisting on assimilating it. Lots of fighting. Voyager gets hit badly and Am'talia insists they leave. Am'talia opens a rift in subspace and pushes Voyager through. Hundreds of light years later the crew is in the Briefing Room (otherwise known as the ugly table room) where Torres tells the crew that a Borg homing beacon was found in one of the Nacelles. The ship traveled 1000 light-years toward the Alpha Quadrant with the push into the corridor, but can not re-enter because they don't know how to integrate Federation technology with the information they were given. Then, the end.

For those who think they know more than I do, I'd like to know which twin Harry liked and which twin liked him. I can't remember, and they don't show reruns locally anymore.

Ensign Jenkins was a real character. She appeared in one episode of the first three seasons when Harry was playing captain on the night shift. She was a pretty blonde woman. Don't any of you try to argue. I have a list (somewhere) of non-main character names who had speaking parts so I could throw their names around.

By the end of Season Seven, I thought that it had been a pretty good one. Not great, but that's mostly because after four years (ones they got Seven of Nine) the shows finally started to focus on character and how each character has grown since being stuck so far from home. Basically, character wise, the last season picked up where season three left off. My biggest disappoint, not counting those horrible "Workforce" episodes, was Nelix leaving the ship before it got to Earth. Sure, it was cool that he met a group of his people, but why did he have to stay? Why couldn't they have joined the crew of the ship and come to Earth too? I guess the writers/producers thought it was an easy way to wrap up his character. The lazy bums.

Well, congrats on getting this far. Now, go finish the test.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Waltzing with Hedwig

With my recent obsession with Harry Potter (see the June 21st entry for further details), I watched the first movie today. (I think I would have started reading the books again, but I only have my copy of the fifth book with me, and that's not the right place to start rereading the series, is it? I'd be like starting to reread the Dragonlance books with Legends book 2: War of the Twins, wouldn't it?) Just finished the movie in fact. And, as with any pretty good movie, I noticed something new. No, it's not something that's missing, I think I noticed all of those things by the second time I watched the movie. What I noticed was that the main musical phrase, I guess is what it could be called, entitled Hedwig's Theme is a waltz. It's got that definite 1, 2, 3, 4 idea that's always underneath what the music is doing.

A waltz.


It's given me an idea of what to do with my slowly growing Flash skills. I think I want to do a sort of Fantasia thing with Hedwig's Theme. Strange shapes waltzing with each other across the screen. Twirling, changing, multiplying with the music. Hopefully very strange. I've got to start sketching this out.

If I ever complete it (although really starting on it will be an enormous move for me), that'll be the day that I will guarantee that I'll get my own website. Before that day, you'll have to live with my blogs.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Early, Early, Early

Maybe it's because I was up at 3:30ish this morning, but going to work early is great.

I get a half hour to set up the pastry case and don't have to say a single word to the other person helping in the morning. There were only two of us until six, and the first customer had only come in fifteen minutes before that.

The best thing about working early is getting to leave early. Yes, I was off work at noon. Ahh. A whole afternoon to waste doing nothing at all on. Sure, I have class at six, but until I leave I can do as little as I like.

What I have done is cut a cantaloupe into bite sized pieces and eaten half. If my roommate doesn't get to it, I'm going to eat the rest when I get back from class. I've watched the season finale episode of Gilmore Girls' first season, very good. I've had some spinach dip, yum. I've read all the penis enlargement e-mail adds I've gotten since last night, pretty funny. And I've had so many drinks of water that my stomach hurts a bit, slosh.

Yes, working early and getting off from work early is something I recommend.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

Up early to go to work. I didn't write this yesterday, but another person has just put in his notice. He warned me about that on Monday. I told him I'd miss working with him, but congratulated him on getting away from this store. His reason for leaving? The assistant manager. He says she's insulting him to other workers. I'm not sure if that's been going on because the closest thing she's said about him that was an insult was saying he's being unethical and immoral for dating a coworker. Sure, it's against the rules, but for a regular date and a regular screw, how many of us wouldn't date a coworker?

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Popping Noodle

I find myself thinking in blog a lot recently. Something will happen at work, or school, or at the mall, or on TV and I start dictating a blog post in my head. None of them actually end up on the blog, though. I usually forget what I wanted to write about by the time I sit down at the computer and end up writing whatever pops into my noodle.

Monday, June 21, 2004


What do you do when you can't sleep at night?

Do you just lay in bed thinking sleepy thoughts?

Do you turn on the TV and watch an infomercial?

Do you grab a book or magazine?

Recently, I've been pulling myself out of bed and reading Harry Potter fan-fic. Not exactly the most important discovery I've made on the 'net. I've read a few short stories and two novel-length fan-fics. This one takes place when Harry's at school and makes all the characters horny little punks. It was a fun read, only because I couldn't take it seriously. That's probably the only way to read it. The other long one takes place years after the book and was much easier to read, mostly because the characters actually stay in character.

Do you want to know what's even worse? Most of the time, while I'm reading this stuff, I put on the sound-track to the first Harry Potter movie.

Not one of my proudest moments, but it's still fun.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

A Day in the Life of...

I had a real day off today. No school. No work. Just a day.

Something odd about me is that when I have to set my alarm for work in the morning, I, nearly, always sleep up to the horrible "EEEEEENT! EEEEEEENT!" but on my days off, I'm awake sometime between seven-thirty and eight. This morning, it was seven-thirty.

I was awake, so I did my laundry. Work clothes don't smell like coffee. Aprons are once again green, rather than the chocolate brown they become. And I once again have clean socks.

I also used this day to do some room cleaning. I now have much carpet, rather than a path leading from the door to the computer to the bed to the door. I was hoping to find the things I'm missing, but to little avail. I found a Neal Stephenson book, Zodiac, so I guess that was loaned to me my Heels, and not Snowcrash, like I thought. I couldn't find my Star Trek Armada CD, though. I had time today. I wanted to play. I'm not terribly far, halfway through the Klingons, I think. I want to get father, play the Borg, or Romulans, or whoever comes next.

Since I didn't find the game, I spent the rest of the day reading. Mostly early strips from Bob and George, but also some of the book I'm reading.

I'm headed for sleep now, work in the morning.

Saturday, June 19, 2004


Did you ever stop and wonder how many bits of dead people you've breathed in in your lifetime?

Thursday, June 17, 2004


I thought about pounding my head on the register screen then run around the store screaming gibberish at all the windows at work today.

I didn't do it, though.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Recent Losses

Left side of face is flaking off like a lizard shedding its old skin.

Car broken into last night and stuff stolen.

My left side is what got all sunburned last weekend in Santa Cruz. Yesterday, the top layer of skin finally began to give up it’s hold. Today, many patches have fallen off. I tried my best, while at work, to stay away from the espresso bar. As funny as I do think it would be, I figure it’s some sort of health concern to have flakes of skin fall in a mocha. Tried my damndest to stay at the register, but kept getting put on bar because others don’t like it. (It was even stated in my review that I spend too much time on bar, but I only do it because no one else wants to, including the assistant manager.) While on bar, I did my best not to scratch my face because I really didn’t want to be the cause of a big problem, not today. But I wonder how many people drank up little flakes of me today? Did I make their drink taste better, or worse, or the same?

Sitting in my car, about to start it, I wanted to check to see if I had everything for my class. I reached for my backpack, but it wasn’t there. I wondered if I had forgotten it inside, but I remembered that the last thing I did before getting out of the car last night was to grab my book and CDs out of the backpack and left it in the car. Backpack was gone and I didn’t move it. Someone took it. Someone was in my car sometime after nine last night and before 7:30 this morning and took my backpack. And they took half a pack of Extra Wintergreen gum.

I realized that there were only two ways that people could have gotten into my car. 1. I left the car unlocked. 2. The person (or persons) reached through the crack in the window and unlocked the door. I’m betting the former is the one that happened. My car has an auto lock, but if I lock it on the inside and close the door without holding the handle up, all the doors unlock. Usually, I’m quite good at checking to make sure the door is locked. I can’t remember if I checked last night. Damn.

I hope the minty-breathed rotten stealers are upset that they got things that they can’t do anything with. I’ll run down what I know was taken:
1) Backpack I’ve had since my Freshman year in high school. Two big rips in leather on bottom and lining wearing out.

2) Two school text books, which I spent about $80 on, for Flash class. I doubt the thieves want to learn Flash.

3) A Five Star: First Gear binder I got before I started fifth or sixth grade. Still in remarkable condition, considering the age. Plus, it had the syllabus for the class and my first story board.

4) One zip disk with projects for class. Fortunately, I have all the projects on the hard drive of the computer I use at school.

5) A $12 sketch book with six or seven pages full of sketches or writing. I bought it as the spring semester ended because I took a drawing class and figured I should keep practicing.

6) Two mechanical pencils stuffed with lead. One was in the pack’s pocket, the other was in the binder.

7) A really good eraser. I liked that eraser a lot.

8) A half a pack of Extra Wintergreen gum. I wish 'Bucks sold wintergreen flavored gum.
That’s all that was taken. I have no money in the car. No CDs. Lots of cassettes, but who’s gonna take those in the year 2004? All my art stuff is still in the car. The sweat shirt in back is exactly where it’s been for the past month. All the trash is still there. And so is the oil.

I suppose they just really wanted the back pack.

I’ve replaced the one book that I really NEED for class, the one with the assignments, but the other had good information in an easy to find way. Want to get a new bag. Something that goes over my shoulder and hangs at hip instead of a backpack. Bought new mechanical pencil. Can’t find my other zip disks that are somewhere in my room. Can’t find my Star Trek Armada game. (Hasn’t been in my car since I moved, but I really wanted to play it yesterday and couldn’t find it.) Can’t just rip the flesh off my face to stop the peeling parts from itching.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Finished reading Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, by Helen Fielding, just before class this evening. Was v. good, v. funny. Was inspired to write review of book, even though wrote review of new H. Potter film last night. Was also inspired to write review of book in style of book. Maybe annoying, but fun for person writing.

Loaned book by mum. Said it was funny and she liked it v. much, even though she hadn’t read the first book and hadn’t seen the movie. Seen the movie, but not read the book. Since finished other book, the brilliant Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, by Gregory Maguire , and couldn’t find Snowcrash, which was loaned to me by a friend and now lost in mess of room, decided to read this.

It’s about Bridget Jones, if you couldn’t have guessed. A woman in love, but in danger of destroying all relationships with non-gay men. A woman with a job, but in constant danger of losing it due to not wanting to compromise her journalistic “integrity.”A woman with flaws that she insists on fixing, but enjoys vices v. much and can not completely give them up. A woman who has a v. big hole in her flat.

Learned from the book that being chronically late for work is a v. bad thing. That six months without sex is 14,515,200 secs. without sex. That prison is a v. good place to lose weight. That women may actually want to shag Tony Blair. That sometimes women and men have trouble expressing honest emotions. That parents are crazy. That “Gaaah” is a great word.

Joined Bridget on drunken ski trip. While saving a life at the lake. While babysitting. At a three-year-old’s birthday. In Thailand. At parent’s house. On interview with Colin Firth. Losing and gaining weight. While drunkenly writing Christmas cards and soberly learning what she wrote.

Laughed v. much while reading this book. Read at work and many times interrupted what others were doing by guffawing.

People at work must assuredly think am gay now. Their problem, not mine. Reading book worth that.

PS Of course movie being made out of this book, since other movie huge success with Oscar nom. and everything. Would be v. funny if Bridget still interviews Colin Firth. V. funny having Colin Firth play Mark Darcy, who Bridget dates, and himself, who she loves, in that way people love celebrities.


While in Santa Cruz, my dad offered to help pay for me to go to Ashland this summer. To say (or write) that I was surprised would be an understatement. (It was one of the kindest things that I've been offered, ranking up with grandma paying for the family to nearly die laughing at Bill Cosby.) I didn't take it though. I said, "No thank you," almost immediately. I also mumbled something about not wanting to go by myself and figuring that it's too late to get someone to come in August with me.

On the drive back to Cowcity, I kept hearing a voice in my head say, "You should have taken the money. You'd get a week off from work and you'd get to see a shit load of plays. Why couldn't you have taken the money? A week away from Cowcity. A week away from people. Why are you such an idiot?"

I also took this kind of abuse from myself yesterday.

I was afraid that I'd start in on myself again today, so last night, why thinking sleepy thoughts, I figured out why I said, "No," to the money.

I said, "No," because, I finally realize, that there comes a point in a person's life when he, or she, has to do things for his, or her, self. And, for some odd reason, this issue is the one that I choose to take this stand on.

I want to go to Ashland. I want to see the Shakespeare Festival so bad that I've recently dreamt in an odd form of Elizabethan style of English. Going to see so many plays sounds more fun to me than going to the Comicon International in San Diego, even though I know I'd have a blast. But I've decided to support myself for a trip like this.

Is it a dumb move? Dunno.

Is it the right thing to do? Dunkare.

Will I make it up to Ashland next year? Mae-Bee.

More likely, though, will save money for trip to Pittsburgh to visit friends, and see the sites where a so-so movie was filmed, and, hopefully, meet a fresh little person.

A year is a long time. I'm not even sure what's going on in my life in six weeks, what makes me think I could possibly know what may or may not happen a year from now?

'Til the time I do know, I am no longer harassing myself about not taking money from parents.

Maybe I'll sleep better tonight.

Monday, June 14, 2004

"A cunning bunch of little runts."

I should be sleeping, but I'm not.

I have to be at work at 5:30AM, and I will be.

I'm not sleeping yet, though.

Less than eight hours until work.

One of the people who I thought was quitting isn't.

Which is good.

Time to turn the computer off.

I'm going to lay in my bed, thinking sleepy thoughts.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

You may consider me a good boy.

I waited over than a week to ruin the movie for all of those who read this (like three people), and who have yet to see the new Harry Potter movie (all three of you).

I have to start off by saying that I really liked this movie, despite all that I’m going to write here. The acting was good. The set direction was amazing. Costumes were wonderful. Directing was great. I walked out of the theater with a big grin on my face. Even being nearly hit by a car running a red light couldn’t wipe the smile away. I couldn’t help myself. I was even blown away by the score. I don’t think John Williams has ever written anything this good.

After watching the movie, I felt safe reading many of the reviews that would be posted later in the morning. (For those who do not know, I went to the midnight showing the day it opened. I’m that obsessed/sad, but not obsessed/sad enough to dress-up like so many others did.) Reading the reviews, I was surprised at how many of the writers kept commenting on how old the three stars are. They wrote things like, “No longer children, the stars of Harry Potter...” or “The kids are growing up, how will this be dealt with?” and other things. Have so few of the reviews read the books that they don’t know that each one takes place in a school year and, therefore, the kids age a year every book? Did they not notice how the teasers and trailers all mentioned it being Year 3 at Hogwarts? Was there no research done? Didn’t the press release say anything? Couldn’t they have spoken with a 10-year old son/daughter, niece/nephew, kid off the street to find out about this? Why do so many of them seem nervous that the stars are getting older when the characters are supposed to get older? It’s not like the confusing crap with The Hunt for Red October, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, and The Sum of All Fears Jack Ryan bullshit. Did they go crazy about three actors playing the same role?

Now I’m off topic. Back to Harry Potter.

I was surprised at the beginning of the flick. Not enough Dursleys. Not enough explanation. Not enough Aunt Marge. And Ripper was not the big dog I pictured. Why did they need more? To really show why Harry hated Aunt Marge. There wasn’t nearly enough. We got her walking through the door, then the dinner where Harry puffs her up. (Kudos to everyone for keeping Aunt Marge’s line where she compares Lily Potter to a bitch. Never thought I’d hear that word in this movie, even though it is in the book.) I wanted the slow week of torture. I wanted to see Harry doing everything he could to not punch her in the nose just so he could go to Hogsmeade on weekends. But those extra 5-10 minutes of movie probably weren’t filmed (especially considering the Dursleys won’t even be in the next film). Dudley watching a TV set in each scene was wonderful, though.

The Knight Bus was spectacular. From it’s first CRACK to its final zoom away. The way Stan Shunpike could just stand there as the bus dodged traffic and stopped for old women while Harry was thrown around, wonderful. And Stan’s whole bored demeanor, as if he’d seen everything all already. I only wish that they’d have shown an inanimate object or two (mail box or street light or bus bench) hopping out of the bus’s way.

Diagon Ally has never lived up to my imagination. It’s not big enough. It’s not magical enough. I did like the waiter with the huge pile of plates, though. And why did Mr. Weasly take Harry aside? Why couldn’t Harry have just overheard the story of Sirrius? And why was the news report announcing Sirrius’s escape left out from the beginning?

There wasn’t nearly enough Sirrius in this movie. Not enough of Sirrius as Snuffles and not enough of Sirrius. Roger Ebert pointed out that when Sirrius was finally revealed, the director also introduce us to Peter Pettigrew instead of giving us stuff about Sirrius. This is a major problem for two reasons: 1) the book does give us all sorts of back story on Sirrius and James and Lupin and Peter, then introduces Peter when we have a good idea of what kind of man Sirrius is; 2) to leave such vital information out of a movie kills audiences; people who haven’t read the book, when (or if) they finally thought about this scene, probably didn’t understand why Harry did what he did and why Lupin decided it was okay to kill Wormtail. And then, when Peter transforms into a rat, why didn’t his clothes transform with him? When he transformed into a human he was fully dressed, but when he goes back to being a rat, he falls out of his clothes, why?

In the end, I was surprised that the not allowing Harry to go to Hogsmeade didn’t arrive. Does this mean he won’t be able to go in the next movie? I doubt it and I doubt there’ll be any explanation as to why he can now just walk into town. No Pig either. Oh well.

And then there’s the whole patronis thing. When did it just become a shield? When I first read the book, the line that stood out to me was that a patronis is an anti-dementor, which is why it takes on a specific form, not just a spray of silver like it was in this movie. Give me wisps of smoke trying to form a figure, not just an odd spray of white.

I could go on forever picking at nits, but I shouldn’t. The last thing to pick at is just how hard it is for me to get my view of things to work with what’s on the screen. I’ve gotten used to seeing the people on screen. Sure, they’re nothing like what appears in my head (Harry is shorter, Ron is taller, Hermoine is chubbier, Hagrid is larger, Snape is slimier, Dumbledor is pointer, and on, and on), but I’ve come to terms with that. What I haven’t come to terms with is how different these people envisioned the grounds at Hogwarts. Mine was more spread out. Hogwarts up on a small hill that levels out toward the lake and the Forbidden Forrest. Nowhere near as steep as what’s seen in this movie. Same with some of the halls in the castle. But it is a beautiful set.

Despite all of that, I really enjoyed myself. I’ve only seen it once, but had to fight myself to keep from seeing it again this weekend. (I would have been late for work, but it probably would have been worth it.) Maybe this weekend, if my will power isn’t strong enough.

Anyway, you should all go and see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because it's the best of the bunch. It's the best movie, so far, and it's the best book, hands down.


PS Was I the only one who wished Professor Flitwick had at least made a (pardon the pun) small appearance?

Sunday, June 13, 2004


Sunburn on my face, and I had to shave the semi-prickly whiskers, not fun. Turned my head to quickly, at a noise, and now the burn on my neck hurts in odd triangle patterns. It should be gone in two more day. Let's hope I can survive.

Saturday, June 12, 2004


I'm back. I'm sunburned. I'm tired. I have a headache.

The graduation was boring, and included all the necessary We-Are-Off-To-A-New-Place-And-Hope-To-Make-The-World-Better speeches. I read a book.

It was good to see the brothers, the brothers' S. others, friends of brother, and parents. There was much laughing last night, and several showers were offered. Best thing said was:
"When you get a girlfriend, I'll have to tell her how to do that."

"I can see it now. 'Hi, I'm J___'s oldest friend's mother and I'm here to teach you how to touch your boyfriend.'"
I, unlike others who I know, am not one who enjoys driving, or road trips. They are exhausting. I drove more than 300 miles in two days. Way too much for me. My legs got stiff. I had to buy gas both days. Good radio stations would go fuzzy and disappear over a hill, with nothing good to replace it. Polka playing Spanish stations were everywhere. The sun beat on my sunburn the whole trip back. I have a headache.

Anyone want to drive back east with me?

Friday, June 11, 2004


If a thousand fairies can dance on the head of a pin, why should I care?

Thursday, June 10, 2004

And awaaaay I go.

I'm off to Santa Cruz tomorrow evening (after work, after 6). It's the purplehobbit's graduation.

The drive will be long, both ways.

The graduation will be boring.

The company will be good.

That is all.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Leavin' Me

The number of people leaving the 'Bucks I work at this month has just increased by one. That brings the grand total up to 7 (maybe 8, but I have to check out that last one, it could be a joke). The most recent one came in today and said he got hired somewhere else, he starts tomorrow and can't work the rest of the week. The worst thing about these people leaving is that they are some of the best people to work with.

Sure, they may not be able to make the drinks or help customers, but they make my time at the 'Bucks more enjoyable. All but two (or one if the rumor is true, see the last paragraph) of the most fun people are leaving. *Sigh*

The funny/odd thing to go along with all of this is that when I was on my lunch break, I heard the ASSistant manager speaking on the phone saying that someone put in her notice yesterday, and (I think she was joking) she, the ASSistant, wondered how many more people she can get to give their notices before the Manager gets back on Monday. Twenty minutes later, the guy came in and said today was his last day. I started laughing.

Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I'm supposed to poison the coffee, or something. Maybe I'm supposed to break glass all over the floor. Maybe I'm supposed to kick each customer and employee in the shins. Maybe not.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004


This site is one of the funniest and creepiest things I've ever seen in my life (and was sent to me by a friend). Oh, and check out the last picture on the picture page.

If you want really creepy, read this stuff.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Light Up My Room

Barenaked Ladies

A Hydro-field cuts through my neighborhood
Somehow that always just made me feel good
I can put a spare bulb in my hand
And light up my yard

Late at night when the wire in the walls
Sing in tune with the din of the falls
I'm conducting it all while I sleep
To light this whole town

If you question what I would do
To get over and be with you
Lift you up over everything
To light up my room, my room

There's a shopping cart in the ravine
The foam on the creek is like pop and ice cream
A field full of tires that is always on fire
To light my way home

There are luxuries we can't afford
But in our house we never get bored
We can dance to the radio station
That plays in our teeth

If you question what I would do
To get over and be with you
Lift you up over everything
To light up my room, my room

Sometimes, this song feel like the anthem for my life.


Sunday, June 06, 2004


The bookstore is closed on Sundays. So, no new used books for me.

I do have a new pair of shoes for work, though.

Comfy feet tomorrow.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Harry Potter

I enjoyed the new Harry Potter movie. The acting was good. The sets were remarkable. The special effects were incredible. And it had the best score that I have ever heard from John Williams.

Sure, I have my problems with how the book was translated for the movies, but I had a stupid grin on my face for most of the movie. The movie was too good to leave me feeling upset about the missing parts.

People packed the theater. The film thrilled everyone. Gals let out shreiks and cat calls when they saw Harry and Ron for the first time. And guys let out hoots and cat calls of their own when they saw Hermione. That was a little creepy, considering the actress is 14 and most of them looked to be out of high school.

Friday, June 04, 2004

Harry Potter was good, but there'll be more on that tomorrow. Other stuff today.

I've decided to cancel the trip to Ashland this summer. I had the form all filled out to see Henry VI parts 1, 2, and 3, King Lear, Oedipus Complex X, and A Raisin in the Sun. Then I looked at how much money I'd have by August, and how much time I'd have to spend away from work, not getting paid, and can't do it. Maybe next year, when I have some actual vacation time. Sigh.

I have, however, decided to go to Modesto on Sunday. Why? Because I want to go to a decent used bookstore that doesn't require me to go to Bezerkly. Maybe I'll find something good. Maybe not. Maybe I'll eat lunch down there. Maybe it'll be a whirlwind thing where I only go to the bookstore. Maybe I'll wander around. Who knows?

Thursday, June 03, 2004


No review at 'Bucks, today. Several things contributed to this, including the computer being broken from 9PMish last night until 10AMish this morning; a new employee came in for "First Impressions," which the manager forgot about yesterday afternoon, and had to be reminded of when she got there this morning; and the schedule (which is supposed to be posted by 5PM on Wednesday) still wasn't done by the time I left this afternoon.

When will my review happen? I don't know, but the manager is supposed to, within two weeks, sit down with me and discuss me with me.

Since I don't have to work until 2PM tomorrow, and since I'm a nerd/geek/freak/Trekie, I've decided to go and see a midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. This is my favorite book in the series, and it looks like it'll be a great movie. Strange, but by the time I get out of the movie, early in the morning, it'll just under 12 hours before I have to be at work.

On it goes, and on I go. Hope you're well.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

It's too darn hot, too darn hot, too darn hot...

Tomorrow is my first review at Starbucks. At the 'Bucks, each employee is supposed to be reviewed for raises and such every six months. The seventeenth will be two years since I was first hired by the company, but I still call this my first review.

The one that was supposed to be the first, in December of 2001, something was sent into the company because I got a raise in pay, but neither manager sat down to discuss the process with me, or give me info on how I could improve as an employee (even though I doubt I would have listened to them).

The one that is considered my second happened five weeks after it was supposed to and after I had put in my notice to quit. (I was talked to about the review this time by the assistant manager because she wanted me to stay, but I couldn't, the manager and I just didn't get along.)

The third was turned in as a satisfactory notice by the former assistant manager, who became manager the day before I was re-hired. It was all satisfactory, and I didn't get a raise, because I'd be away from 'Bucks for a while. Mostly, it was just to allow me to transfer to a store here in Cowcity.

So, that's why I consider tomorrow my first. The manager at my store is actually going to sit down with me and explain what's going on and tell me what I'm doing well and how I can improve in other areas. I'm a bit worried. After working for this company for almost two years I hope that I may learn how this place works.

I'm also a bit upset. My store needs new Shift Supervisors, at least two, maybe three and, to the best of my knowledge, all of them are coming from out of our store. The management isn't just accepting transferring supervisors. No. They're planning on transferring in new Baristas (my level) and training them to be supervisors. That'd be okay with me, if the management had offered the jobs to people within the store first. But they didn't.

Does this seem fucked up to anyone else?

I'm not saying that I want the job. Honestly, I don't. But if it had been offered to me, I'd probably have said yes because I want that extra dollar an hour and the promise of 30+ hours each week (unlike currently where I'm scheduled for 22-30 hours each week and I have to scrounge for hours from other stores in Cowcity). I don't have to be offered the promotion, though, I just want someone else in the store to be offered. There are two people in the store, neither of which are me, who would be good supervisors, and they already have duties that supervisors are supposed to have (ie ordering pastries).

I don't know if I'll bring any of this up tomorrow. I probably should, though, but I don't want to be pegged as a problem-child by this manger. My loud, sarcastic, and, usually, right opinions are what I think caused my problems with the second jackass manager I had.

Tomorrow afternoon, I'll know what I said to my manager and I'm sure to know what she thinks.

This is why I'm nervous.

On another note:

The last season of one of my favorite shows, The Drew Carey Show, is starting to be aired tonight.

I'm not sure what to expect. Last season was pretty weak, but I laughed a lot. I was confused when the show disappeared in December and didn't reappear until the summer, last season, but I was happy to see the new episodes.

Apparently, ABC has a full season worth of episodes to show this summer. Showing two new episodes a week, that's eleven weeks of new Drew Carey. I hope it's still funny. Sure, it'll be hard to live up to: "Father, is there a pew in you rectory?" but I can hope.

Picture Time!

I found two interesting pictures on the internet of Josh Fitzwater.

There's a Josh Fitzwater.

The caption says, "Juniors Nate Ritz, Bob Baers, Justin Milam, Jordan Strouse and Josh Fitzwater as froshies"