Wednesday, March 30, 2005


I have to drop my class up in Cowcity and I feel like shit because of it. How are you?

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Er, East?

I went to work this morning. I started at seven and left the place at three this afternoon. I didn't eat breakfast. I didn't get to go to the Easter Bash at my great-uncle and aunt's house. I'm not having fun this Easter.

So, I've put a movie in and pulled the smashed cheese out with some crackers.

Lets hope it gets better.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Upping the Date

I went to a birthday dinner for my grandpa on Thursday. While there, my great-uncle (mom’s uncle, grandma’s brother) told me to update. So, here I am, making an update.

I sit at my parent's computer writing this in MS Word. I'm not a fan of Word, nor do I usually write blog posts outside of Blogger. Why am I doing this? Well, they get their internet through the phone line and, despite the fact that they have a 56K modem, it only runs at 28.8K because of old, shitty phone lines. I also don’t want to take up the phone line in the middle of the day spending well over an hour writing this and being distracted by comics and online articles in between sentences.

So, what have I been up to? I started back at my original store. There are five people at the store who have worked there since the day it opened. Four of them trained with me thirty miles away at the, then, nearest store. I still don’t know how I feel about all this. I don’t want to work at ‘Bucks anymore, if I can help it.

The day my stuff was moved up here there was a letter offering me an interview at the Cowtown Post Office. I got one from another local post office in December and declined to be interviewed because I wanted to take a class up in Cowcity. I told them to contact me in July and later when I’d be done with the class. The first packet was due two weeks after I got it, so I assumed the new one was too. It wasn’t. I only had a week. When I got back from work on Friday, there was the Post Office packed on the floor with a note from my dad saying that I needed to call for an interview or throw away the packet. I called for an interview. The guy on the phone told me that they had all the interview slots filled and maybe I’d get the chance to be interviewed again later, since the test scores are good for two years. I threw the packet in the trash. The fates conspired against me.

My parents and I have painted a couple of rooms in the house. The one where I used to sleep, the last time I lived here, and the one I’m sleeping in now. The old one went from a very light lavender to a bright yellow. The one that I’m now in went for a creamy white to a very white. Now I’m working on the very long process of pulling everything out of boxes and putting them on shelves and sorting them and throwing things in the garbage and putting other things in boxes to be kept and then putting still others into a pile to go to a yard sale or the flea market or the good will or a used bookstore. It’s been a very long process and I’m still not finished. My computer isn’t put back together, which is why there hasn’t been any comics.

And there you have it. My post. I have nothing else that I want to put down.

Hope you’re all well.

PS Heels, I just read your Muttering today. Thanks for proving to the doubter that people who aren't me can post comments.

Monday, March 14, 2005


So, the move has been completed, except for the fact that most of my things that came from Cowcity are in the garage. When will this "problem" be fixed? I'm hoping for next Monday. I think it's a realistic goal, considering we have to move all the stuff out of the room and then paint the room.

What is it like in Cowtown? Cooler, temperature wise, than Cowcity, that's for sure. There are lots of trees, real trees that grew where the seeds settled after leaving a first tree, not those damn city trees that are planted in rows and trimmed every few months. I like the real trees. They're something I miss every time I head into a big city. There are hills here too. To me, there's something disconcerting about flat land. It seems wrong, somehow. Maybe it's because growing up most of the flat land I saw was man made for roads or buildings. Maybe not.

I don't start work until next week, so I have an unpaid vacation. Don't know what I'll do. Probably just read. Maybe go see a movie.

Tomorrow, I drive back to Cowcity to pick up the last of my stuff (I left my damn tooth brush there), go to class, and pick up my last group of tips from the store. Oh, on the way, I'm dropping off a CD and a check so I can get comics printed. It's official, we're going to APE. (We're Ticknart. You have to scroll down the page. I wish they didn't capitalize that, but what can I do? Nothin'.) And the we are me, wings, and Altered Ego.

Thinking of comics, the internet in Cowcity went out just as I was uploading my pictures. I had two because the plan was to take this week off, what with my computer being unplugged and such this week and that means an inability to create a new one for this week. So, if my computer is back up before the week is over, you'll have the two. If it's not, then you'll get three next week.

Alright, that's it for now. 'Night.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Another Spring

This is a special moment right now
We'd like to take this time to tell all the kids at home
Send your parents out of the room, this is a kids song
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now
Hey! If you know the words, sing-a-long!
Your gonna have to mow the lawn
Do the dishes
Make your bed
Your gonna have to go to school until your 17
And it's gonna seem about 3 times as long as that
You might have to go to war
Shoot a gun
Kill a nun
You might have to go to war when you get out of school
Hey Cheer up kids! It gets a lot worse
Your gonna have to deal with stress, deal with stress, deal with stress
Your gonna be a giant mess when you get back from the war
Santa Claus does not exist
And there's no Easter Bunny
You'll find out when you grow up that Big Bird isn't funny, funny, funny
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up, when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now
Your gonna end up smoking crack
On your back
Face the fact
Your gonna end up hooked on smack and then your gonna die!
And then your gonna Die!!

------Denis Leary

The weather is warming. The birds are singing. The flowers are blooming. The sun is shining.

I hate spring.

Last night was supposed to by my "going away" thing from this 'Bucks. (I didn't want to do it in the first place, but I promised GIESW that if she did everything, I'd show up, eat, and possibly be entertaining.) GIESW had arranged it with the people that she most likes in the store. (Which are the people that I most like in the store, too. Except for AOSB. No one knows how much I loathe AOSB.) She arranged it two weeks ago with these people and me. We were supposed to eat at an Italian restaurant that's somewhere down the street from the store. When I got to work yesterday, at two, there was a note for me taped to the shelves above the computer in the back room. I decided not to read it because I didn't want to be any more distracted than I normally am while making drinks for people.

When it was time for me to leave, I realized that I had no clue which restaurant we were going to eat at, so I figured I'd call one of the people and find out the name. That's when I spotted the note. I opened it and read it. It was from GIESW and said that the thing had been canceled because no one had any money and that I should call her to set up a new day, time, and place.

I went to see a movie.

I didn't call GIESW.

She came into the store today and asked me if I had gotten the note. I said I had. She gave me a look. I took an order from some guy. She followed AOSB into the back room to see if tips were finished. I said 'bye when she left. She said 'bye when she left with a very soft look in her eyes.

I plan on leaving the store with the same amount of fan fare as I entered it.

Monday, March 07, 2005


I have now eliminated the HaloScan comments.

For those who do not know, here's how to post a comment now:

1. Click on the word "Mutterings" at the bottom of the post.
2. Scroll to the bottom of the page that comes up.
3. Click on "Post a Comment."
4. Write comment in the empty box.
5. Choose to sign your name if you wish by being a member of blogger, or clicking the "Other" radio button and filling in the information.
6. Click the blue button that either says "Login and Publish" or "Publish Your Comment."

Good luck.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Remembering GIESW

I don’t really like talking to GIESW anymore. She’s gotten very bitter and that makes her less fun to be around. Oh, she’s also started spending more time with AOSB, which isn’t good for anyone, since AOSB never put people in a good mood, but rather sucks feelings of happiness out of everyone to into to her emotional black hole.

I think I explained this before, but to be clear, I’m going to do it again in more detail and in a disjointed order.

Early in December, GIESW decided that she didn’t really care for her boyfriend of five years. She said she never really liked him much, it was just that he was someone who wanted to be around her and, eventually, fuck her. Last year, about a month before I moved to Cow City, they decided to move in together and he said he had the perfect place. The perfect place was his mother’s house. They got a dog. They bought two new cars and put both of their names on the credit applications. They stopped having sex, pretty much, in July. (GIESW once told me she wished she could just detach her vagina and leave it for him to use when ever he wanted.)

In October, FLIG and GIESW co-celebrated a birthday and I finally got to meet GIESW’s boyfriend. First, I met her mother, who hated GIESW’s boyfriend and told me–in the strictest confidence, unless I decided to tell GIESW–that she wanted the boyfriend to be hit by a car then finished off by vultures. I got the feeling that GIESW already knew her mother hated her boyfriend. GIESW’s boyfriend showed up about thirty minutes before everyone wanted to get going to the bar. He brought two friends who openly despised GIESW. He kept trying to change the music on the stereo from what the birthday girls wanted to what he wanted. He went outside three times to smoke a cigarette with ASGG and came back saying he hated queers. I decided not to like him.

The next time I worked with GIESW after her birthday, she asked me what I thought of him and I told her what I saw at her party and how much I thought he sucked. I told her that he reminds me of the redneck guys from Cow Town who are considered redneck only because they drive a big truck and hate everything that they don’t understand or think is “wrong.” (These kinds of rednecks are way to common.) I thought he was a jerk because he was borrowing money from her for her birthday present when, the day before, he had bought himself a $200 phone and 30 different rings at $.99 each. I told her she should kick him in the nuts, grab her dog, and get away from him forever.

The second of January, after work, GIESW packed-up some of her clothes, waited for her boyfriend to get home from work, told him she was leaving, kissed her dog on the head, and left.

Every day, after work, she went back to his mother’s house to get more of her stuff and visit her dog.

One day, nearly a week after the dumping, he ditched work and waited for her. When she got there, he apologized for everything, even though she’d never asked for an apology. When she turned to leave, he asked her to stay and talk. She stayed and they talked. I don’t know what they talked about, GIESW wasn’t willing to tell me and I didn’t want to pry, but in the end, he had convinced her to stay at least until the end of the month. If, he said, she was still unhappy on the 31st, she could leave and he wouldn’t say anything about it.

That evening, GIESW started to move her clothes back into her boyfriend’s mother’s house.

Two weeks later, he called her a bitch and said this time he was the one doing the dumping and all whores needed to get out of the house. (When she told me this, she said in her car she realized she should have said that a whore owned the house.) She grabbed her clothes, kissed her dog, and left.

The next day, I worked, GIESW didn’t, but we either got pay check or tips, I can’t remember. (I know that it had to be one of the two because those used to be the only reasons she’d show up for work on her day off.) She looked horrid. I asked her what was going on and she said her boyfriend dumped her the night before. I wanted to remind her that she was the one who broke up with him first and that she was the one who was stupid enough to move back in with him after he apologized and that should never have moved back in with him because he’s a jerk. I didn’t though. I know enough not to be logical around a person experiencing high emotions and remind her that it was, at least partly, her fault. I told her he’s a jackass and she’s better off without him. She gave a weak smile and left.

That was about the time, she started hanging around with AOSB.

AOSB started working with us about six months ago. Right away, I could feel she’s an energy sucker. She’s also an emotional vortex. (It doesn’t help that she’s lactose intolerant and a type 1 diabetic who sucks frappuccino’s down like they’re ambrosia. I can’t imagine that’s good for her system.) I didn’t care for her from the beginning. I didn’t think she was that good of a worker and she just rubbed me the wrong way. Not that I let her know it, of course.

At the same time GIESW was dumped by her boyfriend, AOSB was dumped by her boyfriend. Both were full of anger and frustration and depression, so they fed off of each others emotions in a hardcore spiral of angst. And they smoked a lot together, too. This was the foundation for their friendship and that worries me.

Now, GIESW is starting to sound more like AOSB at work. Sure, GIESW and I always complained about the stupid customers and incompetent management and useless coworkers, but now she’s just full of hate for the universe. Nothing is good.

One day, about a week and a half ago, I made her more like herself. It was an early morning. I was the third person in, she the forth. I was outside at the trash can, opening it with a fork when she walked up. I grabbed the fork, pointed it toward her and offered to fork her. I’ll fork you good, I said. She started to laugh. Come on, I said, I promise I won’t fork you very hard, unless you tell me too. She laughed harder, a real laugh. We all need a good forking once in a while, I said, I’ll give it to you right here, right now. She kept laughing and said she had to get inside before she wet herself. The rest of the day, she was like the GIESW of 2004.

That was the last day I enjoyed speaking with that girl.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

An Amazing Event

The Supreme Court has said the Constitution forbids executions of people who had committed a crime as a minor.