OWGAWE didn't show up for work, again. She also didn't call. She was called at least ten times between 4:45AM and 11:00AM, but never answered. This was Wednesday. For me, it was a good day. I figured that OWGAWE would be out of there for good. I was thrilled.
Noonish the same day, GWWSU called and quit. She said she wouldn't be in that night. All three managers were in the store and started to freak out. I giggled hysterically. I'm not one of the people in charge. I'm not the one who did the hiring. I should be getting more hours for a while. GWWSU quitting shocked all the managers. All three said that they never saw it coming. They couldn't tell that she was unhappy. Yeah, the five days that she called in sick during her last two weeks weren't a sign. Plus, she wouldn't shut up about how she didn't want to work because she had other things she'd rather be doing. Surprised she quit? HA. Am I that observant, or are they that stupid?
At about 1:30PM, OWGAWE called work. She claimed that she had asked for the day off, and it had been okayed. One of the assistants pulled out the time off request sheet and saw that OWGAWE had only asked for time off through Tuesday. My smile was so broad you could see my wisdom teeth, if I still had them; OWGAWE was fucked, she was fired. (Does this make me cruel?) Then the assistant said that they would have to talk about what's been going on the next day.
My face fell. My jaw clenched. The silver lining on my day turned out to be tin. The only thing that will happen to OWGAWE is a write up, nothing more. Nothing more. NOTHING MORE!
Today was my first day back at work with OWGAWE. I had both Thursday and Friday off and I didn't answer the phone in the mornings, just in case work called (which it probably did since FLIG's grandfather died (which is sad, but we all learned about the Circle of Life from the Lion King, right?) and JCFB called in with a "personal" problem (although I think he just didn't want to show up, next Thursday is his last day before he heads back to school)), and made sure to be out for a while. The subject of her two missing days from work. I went in angry, but made the day better, more fun in a number of ways.
The first way is to make sure that I talk to every piece of equipment in the store and often call all of it stupid or a "goat shucker." The second way is to talk out loud to myself; I mumble loud enough to make sure that the person nearest me knows I'm talking, but can't make out what I'm actually saying, when they ask, "What?" I say, "Nothing, just talking to myself." and turn away mumbling. The third way is to make up bizarre stories about why things are the way they are after a coworker says something obvious.
(The best example of this is when GIESW said, "This damn coffee cake keeps falling apart on me."So, I made the day much better than it originally been and didn't come back to the apartment miserable.
"Do you know why it keeps falling apart?" I asked.
"No," she said.
"Do you want to know?"
"Sure," she said with trepidation in her voice.
"It's because you don't love the coffee cake."
"It's because you told the coffee cake you don't love it, that's why it keeps falling apart on you."
"Well, fuck the coffee cake," she said, throwing it into the garbage.
"Don't be sad, coffee cake, she doesn't mean it," I said looking into the trash.
"I don't mean what?"
"You don't mean what you said."
"What was that?"
"You told the coffee cake that you didn't love it, that you didn't think of it in that way, that you only thought of it as a friend, and you don't want to ruin that friendship." By this time, GIESW's grin is as big as mine and is called away. I continue, "The coffee cake got so upset, I could hear its sobs all the way across the room. Then it just crumbles. It can't keep itself together anymore and falls apart, sobbing," by this time, I was calling this to her, "'You only think of me as a friend. As a friend. Dear god, why does she only think of me as her friend. I can be so much more. As a friend!'")
Farewell July, here comes August and a new page in my Crumb calendar.