Over on Tumblr I reposted this comic strip.
I wrote: "Funny, this comic actually shows why I hate this ship."
This afternoon, when I logged in to see my Tumblr dashboard I had a message from someone saying "That comment on that comic was unkind and unnecessary."
I sent an apology that also was written in a way that would encourage the message-er to tell me which comment on which comic she didn't like.
My intention in reposting the comic and writing my comment was to point out that even though the artist like the ship and made this comic to be a cute moment in the life of Rey and Kylo Ren, I see it reinforcing why I don't like people shipping Rey and Kylo Ren. Maybe if I had spent more time explaining my reasoning, I wouldn't have received the comment.
I write this because I don't like upsetting people when I'm not trying to upset people.
So, here goes:
I enjoy most of Spatziline's work. Her Star stuff is outstanding and her Ladybug comics make me wish I enjoyed the show more.
I don't like Reylo, never have, and never will.
The comic, for those who didn't see it, has Rey standing next to Kylo Ren. She has something in her hand and is trying to open it. She tells Kylo that she wants to open it without using the force. The top flips up and hits her in the face. "Ouch," she says, probably out of surprise. Beat on Kylo's frowny face. "Heh," Kylo says, smiling. Back to his frown. Rey, with tears in her eyes (happy tears) says, "Holy Force, this is the first time I've heard you laugh."
It doesn't bother me that Kylo laughs at the unexpected, little smack Rey gets when she opens the whatever it is. I've been laughed at when something like that has happened to me and I've laughed at people who have had something like this has happened to others. When it happens to us, we feel stupid and the laughter is a release. When it happens to others, it's like watching a moment in the Three Stooges.
What bothers me is that Rey has never seen Kylo laugh. In Spatziline's comics, Rey and Kylo have a kid who's four or five. So, they've been together for a while. And this is the first time she's ever seen him laugh? Even if this is a different AU, they've been "friends," or whatever, long enough that she feels comfortable with him. So, either he's chosen to never laugh in front of Rey until this moment, or he's never felt humor before now, or he's chosen now chosen to show her some emotion. The first two seems good to me. The third is downright manipulative. Especially in light of The Last Jedi.
After spending most of the movie connecting through the Force, maybe even coming to respect one another, after they fight for their lives together, Kylo Ren starts negging Rey. It's like he's some asshole in a club looking for a warm piece of meat to stick his dick in. And the moment that Rey say no to him (Even though she was more like, "You seem nice and I think we should date and get to know each other before we have sex.) he decides to KILL HER! WHAT THE HELL!? RIGHT!?
And then here's this comic that feels emotionally manipulative. And it's supposed to be cute. And that bothers me. Really bothers me.
I'm not trying to stomp on the things that people like that other people like. I've read the Twillight book and hated every moment of Bella and Edwards "relationship." I see it as abusive. It's not the poor writing and lack of character development that bother me, I've read worse, it's the abuse. But I don't shatter the "love story" that my mom and aunt and sister-in-law enjoyed just because I don't see it the same way that they do. However, when a fanon moment occurs, by an artist or writer that I like, that paints what I see as abuse as something funny and cute, it really bothers me, no matter the intention.
I don't expect it to change anyone's mind about Reylo. Like I couldn't change anyone's mind about the abuse in Harry/Snape stories Or Walker Boh/Ilse Witch stories (from back in the day).
I had to say something. Maybe being curt was the wrong way to go about it though. Maybe.
I should probably post a permanent link to my Preemptive Apology post.