1. Do you love your job?
No, I don’t love it. I don’t hate it, either. I keeps me comfortable in a house with the occasional treat for myself and keeps the cat I live with in litter and food and treats.
2. How many pushups can you do?
Zero. I’m fat, lazy, and weak and often okay with that.
3. What are your pronouns?
I and me.
Okay, that’s not answering the question you’re actually asking, but it’s the answer I’m giving to this question.
4. Did that last question bother you?
Yes, I think so because this is the fourth time the surveys have asked about gender and I’d like to know why it’s so important/interesting to you. (I wouldn’t be surprised if people didn’t notice this because each survey is written so far apart and how often are new readers reading the floppies rather than a collection.)
Over the summer, I watched a bunch of old Saturday Night Live sketches from my early years watching the show (’88 or ’89 was when I started watching.) and I was reintroduced to the “Pat” sketches. I was shocked to learn that people hated these sketches because they think the sketches are transphobic. To me, as a kid and an adult, the joke is that everyone who wasn’t Pat was afraid to interact with Pat without being able to attach a gender. They would ask, often absurd questions, trying to figure out Pat’s gender so they knew if they should talk about football or ballroom dancing. Like they can only know how to talk to a human being based on their gender rather than just talk to Pat as a PERSON. To me, the joke is that Pat is great and happy and cool with all people and everyone else is a fucking idiot for believing genitals are the defining feature of how we interact with one another.
For all I know you’ve asked this question often for market research or pure curiosity or some other reason. I don’t think the story is being tailored toward a demographic. I’m just curious why you are so interested.
5. Other than the incomparable Fiona Staples, who’s your favorite comic artist?
I’ve been cataloging my floppies and that involves a lot, probably too much, leafing through the books. I looked at Cerebus again and while the creator is a problem, Gerhard’s work is amazing and not enough people talk about it. His backgrounds are so intricate, but they don’t distract from the main action of the story.
6. What do you smell like?
Cumin comes to mind.
7. Who’s the best bald fictional character who is NOT a villain?
Captain Benjamin Layfette Sisko.
8. Ketchup: yay or nay?
I fall on the “yay” side of things. It just shouldn’t overwhelm what it’s put on.
9. Have you ever killed someone?
Not that I am aware of.
10. What was the #1 movie in America on the day you were born (which you can apparently discover online at https://playback.fm/birthday-movie)?
The Champ, which I looked up and, well, I have to hear lots of good things about a boxing movie before I seek it out.
11. What’s the most famous person you’ve ever touched?
Amanda Palmer. At a concert she was walking through the audience while singing and touched my shoulder and said that she liked my hoodie. This was well before the shit came to light. I decided not to see her in concert later this year because of the moral complications.
12. Do you believe in angels?
I think I believe in the possibility of mythological angels (four heads, eight wings, flaming wheels of eyes), but haven’t had any experiences with angels and am not good at blind faith. I’m a faith but verified kind of person.
13. Is there a podcasts you think we should be listening to?
There aren’t any that I regularly listen to recommend.
14. What did you lose during the pandemic?
It wasn’t because of COVID-19, but I lost my mind due to lithium poisoning during the pandemic.
15. What did you gain?
Freedom from unwanted social situations.
16. Are you fairly “accurate” representation of your astrological sign?
No. Not in any culture’s astrology that I’ve read about. The vagaries are not vague enough for me to see myself in them. It’s really funny when people who take astrology seriously learn about my sign and then flounder trying to make me, as they understand me, fit. One person told me I was an exception that proved the rule.
17. How’s your local comic shop doing?
We haven’t had a local comic shop in more than 20 years. The closest comic shop is more than an hour’s drive away.
At least we had one when I was a kid. It was run by a lovely woman named Helen – who was willing to argue with me on how, exactly, Superman came back from the dead – and her grumpy husband who resented that they couldn’t make rent by only selling coins and stamps.
18. Are you happy?
I’ve been emotionally numb since the lithium poisoning. Happy doesn’t quite registered yet.
19. What would it take for you to be happier?
It’s been five years since I stopped taking lithium. I keep being told that I need time. Things are better than they were. I no longer burn all my concentration at work and can focus on reading before going to sleep again. I have hope that I’ll be happier some day.
20. Do you have any trophies?
I have a plaque for being employee of the month in a drawer at work. I remember getting trophy for a pinewood derby and winning my age group in the Pumpkin Roll, but either they are buried at my parents’ house or I tossed them.
21. What’s the best sandwich you’ve ever eaten?
When I worked at a locally owned sandwich shop, the sandwich I’d make for myself for lunch everyday was on a sourdough roll, mustard on both sides, lettuce, pickles, onion, swiss cheese, genoa salami, smoked ham, pepperoni, capocollo, and provolone cheese. The owner did not like pepperoni, so it was never put on the menu, but there were a few (very few) who would order it when I was the only one working.
22. How is/was your relationship with your grandparents?
I think it was pretty good for the ones who have died and is still good with the one who’s alive.
23. Do you have any addictions?
Maybe television.
24. What’s one good quality of someone you hate?
I can’t think of anyone who I’ve hated. When I don’t like people I don’t spend time with them enough to learn to hate them.
25. In case we lose your envelope and need to send you prizes, would you please shar your name and address below.
No, thanks.
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