Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Is this story at all interesting?

It's one a coworker's been telling all day. Feel free to be brutal, if it so inspires you. Name has been changed because that's what I do.
Last night I ran Lulu at Safeway. There she was with her list and there I was with mine.


I mean, I was pushing pushing my cart around the store and I turned the corner and there she was, hanging over a cart, her list in hand. And there I was with my cart and my list.


I don't even usually go to that Safeway, you know? But the girls were down town getting their nails done and I thought, what the hell, I need to get some shopping done. And there was Lulu. At the Safeway I never use.


I just can't believe I saw Lulu at Safeway. With her list.


I've heard her tell that story at least four times today to four different people and I don't understand why it was worth telling the first time.

Here's the background: Lulu's a part-time retired secretary. Lulu hasn't been in much for the last month-and-a-half because her judge went in for surgery at the beginning of January.

And that's it!

Is the story worth telling, let alone worth listening to?



AE said...

It sounds to me as if this person has either not run recently into Lulu, or has randomly been running into Lulu of late.

And outside small towns (rather inside '+' sized urban areas) it's not too common to run into someone one knows from outside a specific environment.

And there's Lulu. Right there, with the same thing they had: a list. Maybe there's more here than to this: perhaps they're known for doing the same thing at the same time. Maybe that's the real story. MAYBE it's been happening so often lately that it's getting a little suspicious ... MAYBE the coin keeps coming up heads.


What happened next? Who is Lulu? And WHAT'S the real story?

geewits said...

That's a perfect example of the expression "easily amused." They certainly have me beat. And to answer your questions: certainly not.

Jazz said...

quick answer: no and no

ticknart said...

AE -- Lulu came into the office for a few hours last Thursday; I believe they went out for coffee. As the story says, the teller rarely goes to that Safeway.

Geewits -- I guess it's being easily amused in epic proportions. I can be amused by light reflecting off of water for a long time, but this is hugely non amusing.

Jazz -- To the point. Thanks.

AE said...

...Rarely goes ... and there's Lulu! At the Safeway Lulu may also NOT frequent! ...But might also frequent... We don't know. We just don't know!

And recently came into the office they where your coworker works!


Where'll they meet next? Wht possible setting? A sidewalk? The mall? A stopped light in traffic?!

AE said...

...Wait... This is also ... funny? Who's laughing? Why?

ticknart said...

The woman telling the story is laughing. No one else that she told it to laughed. There was polite smiling, though.

Where will they meet next? Probably here at work! Next Friday of the Monday after when Lulu comes to get her paycheck.

heels said...

I'm sorry- did you say something? I dozed off for a minute there.

AE said...

Was Lulu fired? Did Lulu just up-and-quit, bragging, 'never to to see any of YOU losers AGAIN' or the like?

Who's Lulu? What'd I miss?

AE said...

I get this: she's her boss's secretary. Because her boss is out, she's been out. There's just no work for her without her boss. But! Being semi-retired, it sounds like she's been out longer than her boss's been.

Got it. This is classic background:

This all happens to a Mary Richards style character. She's telling her co-workers the next morning:

'...Now I've run into Lulu...
at Safeway of ALL places.'

Pause for laughter.

'I don't even go to this Safeway!'

Pause for Laughter

'...Oh it's been so long and I hope she's well; gosh I kinda miss her...'

'I think I'll go up, her and say hello!'

Fade to flashback: Mary is at the grocery store. She taps Lulu from over the shoulder.

Lulu turns and Mary is standing, unintentionally bitchy, not realizing until well after she cracks out nervously:

'...How's your BOSS?...'

Lulu is outwardly offended and walks off. Mary feels Lulu may not have recognized her, but

Mary says in voice-over while thinking about what had just happened:

'She made such face, as I'd never seen, such disgust.'

She realizes she's making that very same face.

Back in the office Mary Says:

'Oh, how, funny: I had just walked up to someone I hadn't seen in months and said, 'Fuck you', in the freezer section.

Pause for Laughs.

Whoever is funniest (Ted, Lou, Mary...) says:

'All before saying, 'Hello.'

Another says:

Let alone, 'How's semi-retirement?'


Laughs and cut to credits.


Rather! The retelling of the joke the next morning was a repeated set-up and, 'I just can't believe I saw Lulu at Safeway. With her list.'

She BLEW the punchline big on that one. BAH!

AE said...

I can't wait for Monday to see how this pans out when Lulu comes to get her check! I've got a sneaking feeling that Lulu's gonna make Mary look like an ass! But how?

And as for picking up her paycheck, I envision Lou Grant talking to Lulu:

'You're retired, Lulu.'

'I'm semi-retired.'

'You're SEMI-retired, Lulu.'

'Yeah, SEMI!'

Pause for laughs:

'That means I get PART of my paycheck! PART of IT!'

'I don't think you get it, Lulu...'

'Semi : Part, part : semi. It ain't science, Lou! I want my money!'

'You're a nut. Somebody get Lulu out of here...

Ted and Murray grab her under her arms and drag her out.

Mary says:

'Enjoy semi-retirement, Lulu!'