I keep worrying about what will happen tomorrow.
What will happen to me if the doctor decides that I shouldn't be on medication? If the way I've felt for years is normal depression then I don't know if I'll be able to… I look at people at work or at the store or in my family and don't think that they feel like this all the time, like I do.
And then there's the other side where I do get the medication and it doesn't work. What if this is normal for me? What if it does work and I'm a different person? Will I be able to recognize myself?
Hopefully it's just stupid worries. It's probably just stupid worries. Right?
2 comments:
Hubby started getting depressed about three years ago, after a lot of shit happened in his personal life and at work. He would be tired constantly and spend his free time either sleeping or staring at his computer screen. He was unable to enjoy anything at all, even stuff that he really used to like. He was kinda just observing himself doing stuff, as he describes it. However, he was never a suicide risk and he was able to go out and act perfectly happy and normal at family functions and such.
He's been on medication for the past year. They started him on a low dosage and then upped it until they had an effect. The first type of medication they put him on wasn't working well, so they changed it. He's better now.
So basically, I don't think you have to worry about being depressed enough. You don't have to be unable to function, or anything, before you can get help. Getting the meds completely right might be a trial and error thing at first, but it's not like you only get one chance at improving and then you're out of the program.
And you thought nobody read your blog :P
Hi Chooch.
I'm glad about your hubby and I hope things work out for me, too. I wish that, like him, I had a reason outside of myself for doing this. I think it would make things less difficult.
We'll see how things turn out, hopefully soon.
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