Sunday, October 21, 2018

Recognition

I'm watching Dear White People and the character Lionel makes me ache. My head. My heart. My stomach. I see so much of me in that character. Except for, you know, the talent and ambition and courage. His episodes have easily been the best.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Sorting Hat Quizes

Why is it that every sorting hat quiz that I take puts me in Ravenclaw, the house I'd prefer to be in, except for the one at Pottermore?

I keep getting Gryffindor and I would make a lousy Gryffindor. No one who would stand by watching a first year get wedgied and then feel guilty about it should be put in Gryffindor.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

A Thought

I had a thought yesterday:
What if there were a sentient alphabet?
An alphabet that worked to make people understand how to read it and forced them to use it?
An alphabet that reproduces by people writing with it so others would use the same alphabet?
An alphabet whose very twists and edges to had meaning we couldn't understand, but changed how we think?
If there is such an alphabet, could we know?

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Old Movie

I'm sitting in a theater waiting for them to start playing South Pacific. You know, the musical by Hammerstein and Rogers.

The weirdest thing is their playing disembodied audience sounds. Mumble, mumble, mumble.

It's disconcerting.

Normally, by now, my phone would be off and I'd be reading the book that's in my lap. This theater is way too dark. It's at the level that most movie theaters use after the previews start; dark enough to see the film on the screen, but bright enough to easily see the aisles and seats.

I know. Have you ever had your eyes dialated at the optometrist? It's at that level. Very uncomfortable, for me. I'm here by myself and I'm not going to ask a stranger, so I don't know if others find it as uncomfortable as I do.

The mumbles are strange. Constant. Part of me wonders if this is what He'll could be like. Unseen people having conversations around you, but you can't make out any words. Just sounds with enough structure to let you know it is language, but nothing distinct enough to be language. Listening to conversations in a language you don't speak would be easier on the brain because you would be able to make out individual words and sentences.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Lots 'O Questions

I think I answer these series of questions to keep myself honest to myself about me.

1: Full name
I'm not going to actually give my full name, but I'll let you work it out for yourself:
Jehovah is generous
Yogurt brand
Son of the stuff in ponds
2: Age
The first six prime numbers minus the first prime number
3: 3 Fears
That all the bad stuff I think about myself is true. Roaming packs of people. The possibility of an after life.
4: 3 things I love
I'm loathe to answer questions about this when people, including myself, say they love a movie or a hamburger. Does that really compare with love for family or a spouse or your friends? It also doesn't help that I don't know if I really experience this emotion anymore or if I ever did at all. I care for my family and want them to be well, but is that love? There are people who I've like being near because I felt comfort and at ease, but is that love? Dictionaries define love as feeling deep affection or feeling romantic or sexual attachment. Does that mean love is a feeling of other feelings? I know that I'm totally overthinking this silly question, but when confronted with "What do you love?" my mind's a blank. Nothing. I love nothing. Maybe that's why all the rationalization.
5: 4 turns on
Wit, Intelligence, Enthuse, Eyes (Which is strange because I don't like looking at eyes when eyes are looking back at me.)
6: 4 turns off
Willful Ignorance, Hate, Dismissiveness, Poop
7: My best friend
None of the above
8: Sexual orientation
Asexual and I think I'm becoming more biromatic as I get older. Hooray for fluidity!
9: My best first date
I have never had a good first date and I'd rather not choose best out of bad.
10: How tall am I
About 175 CM
11: What do I miss
Being able to fully trust.
12: What time were I born
About 10:30ish AM.
13: Favourite color
Blue
14: Do I have a crush
Like an orange soda? No. Like on a person I know? No. Like on a celebrity? No.
15: Favourite quote
I've been thinking about this one recently because I'm going there later this week: "The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco." It's attributed to Mark Twain, but there's no actual evidence that it was his.
16: Favourite place
I haven't been there yet.
17: Favourite food
18: Do I use sarcasm
This question seems like a set-up to be sarcastic, but it's hard to hear the inflection in my voice when it's written on the page.
19: What am I listening to right now
The sounds of my office
20: First thing I notice in new person
That really depends on how I meet the person. If I'm looking down when I meet them, usually their shoes. If I'm working, usually their voice. If I'm introduced to them by someone then their hands because almost everyone wants to shake hands or, great celery god forbid, hug and I watch their hands to figure out their move.
21: Shoe size
Honest answer is that I don't know because it depends on how wide the shoes are. I have fat feet, which can add a lot of lenght to a shoe if the shoe is very narrow. I start with American size 9 most often.
22: Eye color
Greenish
23: Hair color
Brownish with some red mixed in.
24: Favourite style of clothing
T-shirt and underwear
25: Ever done a prank call?
Not that I remember.
27: Meaning behind my URL
The handle I choose for myself more than 20 years ago based on my favorite superhero duo
28: Favourite movie
I don't have a single favorite movie. I saw 2001: A Space Odyssey on the big screen for the first time and it blew my mind, again. Fantasia is still the most exciting and interesting animated feature I've seen. Superman: The Movie makes me feel like a kid, lost in wonder. Please Stand By hit me in all the feels and the feels well up when I think about the movie. Young Frankenstein may be the funniest movie of all time (unless it's The Producers or maybe Blazing Saddles). The Pirate Movie is the best bad movie/musical ever made. What do you want from me? There's too much good stuff to just have one favorite anything.
29: Favourite song
I can't even choose a favorite Beatles song. How could I choose one song from all the music I've every heard and enjoyed.
30: Favourite band
They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, "Weird" Al, Amanda Palmer. I've sort of limited to this to people currently making music. I mean, I mentioned The Beatles above and all.
31: How I feel right now
Hungry. It's lunch time.
32: Someone I love
Nope
33: My current relationship status
Single. I assume this is about romantic relationships and not my relationship to co-worker, or the homeless guys by the creek, or the stray cats by my apartments, or with television. Wow, there sure are a lot of different types of relationships.
34: My relationship with my parents
As a grown child
35: Favourite holiday
Easter, but that'll probably change from here on out.
36: Tattoos and piercing i have
None
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
Sometimes I like the idea of the Chinese symbol for penis on my inside left wrist and vagina on right. It's a set. I'd have to get both.
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
Sorry, this isn't tumblr
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
I have no "ex"
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
No
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
Well, it was my mother, so yeah.
42: When did I last hold hands?
I hold my hands at night as I fall asleep.
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
If I rush, 10 minutes.
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?
No
45: Where am I right now?
Work
46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
Me
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
Reasonable level to soft.
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
Not at the moment
49: Am I excited for anything?
No
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
No
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
Most of the time.
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
Saturday, probably. I saw my parents and brother. I try not to hug if I can help it and try to forget it if I do.
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
Meh
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
I don't feel like I really TRUST anyone. At least when it's important.
55: What is something I disliked about today?
Work
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
On this Earth, like still alive? Maybe Mel Brooks? Although, "don't meet your heroes" seems to be a pretty good rule.
57: What do I think about most?
Pop culture.
58: What’s my strangest talent?
First I'd have to have a talent.
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
Not that I've come across, but the future is wide open.
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind. Like waaaaaaay behind.
61: What was the last lie I told?
That I am having a good day.
62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Crisco! Neither. I prefer my communication like during the California Gold Rush: every couple of months when I go into town for groceries.
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I believe in the possibility of ghost, but am doubtful of their existence. I think the universe would be full of wasted space (HA, pun) if there aren't other beings out there.
64: Do I believe in magic?
I've seen Penn and Teller on TV.
65: Do I believe in luck?
When I think about it, I'm not exactly sure what luck is. Is it lucky that a person is born into a rich family when their parent's were trying to have kids or is it biology? Is it lucky that I wasn't seriously injured when the police car ran over my toe or was it me having awareness enough to stop walking? Is finding a penny on the street lucky or is it someone being careless? I guess not.
66: What’s the weather like right now?
Clear and warm. Not nearly as hot as late August days normally are for this part of the world.
67: What was the last book I’ve read?
Dragon Wing
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
My, no.
69: Do I have any nicknames?
Technically the name I go by is a nickname because it's the shortened version of my full name.
70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
Probably road burn from riding my bicycle down a too steep hill while wearing shorts.
71: Do I spend money or save it?
Both? I mean, I have rent and enjoy eating.
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
Nope.
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
I'm fairly pink.
74: Favourite animal?
Walruses, Sea Turtles, Cats (big and small)
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
Sleeping.
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
God
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
I've been so severely depressed in my life that there were times when no song could make me happy. So, there is no song that ALWAYS makes me happy.
78: How can you win my heart?
You can kill all the other competitors and cut through my breast bone, and finally remove my heart. Victory!
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
"Fuck Off!"
80: What is my favorite word?
Whampum is a great word to say.
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
That would require access to my tumblr account and I don't have access to that while I'm at work.
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
"Fuck Off!"
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
To the best of my knowledge, no. However, if you believe that all mankind is related through a single ancestor, then I have lots of relatives in jail.
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
Safe teleportation over short and massive distances.
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
What would make you feel better.
86: What is my current desktop picture?
The moon Titan.
87: Had sex?
Nope
88: Bought condoms?
Yup
89: Gotten pregnant?
That would be a miracle of science!
90: Failed a class?
No
91: Kissed a boy?
I've kissed family on the cheek.
92: Kissed a girl?
Yes, but no tongue.
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
No
94: Had job?
Currently, in fact.
95: Left the house without my wallet?
Yes, but I find it much worse to forget my keys. Especially if I locked the door on the way out.
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
No, but I used to troll an economics forum.
97: Had sex in public?
No. Not even with myself. I'm so repressed.
98: Played on a sports team?
When I was much younger.
99: Smoked weed?
I tell people I have, but I haven't. With the right story it keeps people from offering it to me when they want to go smoke.
100: Did drugs?
Like ibuprofen? Yes. Like meth? No.
101: Smoked cigarettes?
Yuck, not.
102: Drank alcohol?
Not really.
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
Never even seriously considered it.
104: Been overweight?
Since the day I was born.
105: Been underweight?
Not one day in my life.
106: Been to a wedding?
Too many.
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
Five hours is nothing!
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
Five hours is nothing!
109: Been outside my home country?
I've been just over the boarder to Mexico.
110: Gotten my heart broken?
No, but I fully expect my arteries to harden enough and get covered in plaque to have it broken, eventually.
111: Been to a professional sports game?
Yes.
112: Broken a bone?
Chicken, turkey, cow, pig, lamb. Never a human bone, though.
113: Cut myself?
Only on accident. Never on purpose.
114: Been to prom?
Did not go to prom.
115: Been in airplane?
Big and little ones.
116: Fly by helicopter?
I remember flying past a helicopter in one of the little airplanes I rode in.
117: What concerts have I been to?
"Weird" At, They Might Be Giants, The Dead Hensons, Australian Pink Floyd, The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Amanda Palmer, others that I don't remember. Oh, Alanis Morissette. (There were these two hardcore guys sitting in front of me singing along with each song. They were so excited when she sang You Oughta Know.)
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
Briefly, but he had a girlfriend that I crushed on at the same time, too.
119: Learned another language?
I'm still trying to learn this one.
120: Wore make up?
Hasn't almost everyone in the USA worn makeup on Halloween?
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
It's too late for that. Also, 18 what?
122: Had oral sex?
No.
123: Dyed my hair?
Temporary dye.
124: Voted in a presidential election?
For many years now.
125: Rode in an ambulance?
"Ridden" in an ambulance, and no.
126: Had a surgery?
They pulled my tonsils out when I was eight years old.
127: Met someone famous?
Who decides who famous? Also, no.
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
I've looked for certain people on social media and it took me a long time, but I don't visit their stuff much after that.
129: Peed outside?
Many, many times.
130: Been fishing?
In a lake and along a river.
131: Helped with charity?
No, and sometimes I feel bad about that.
132: Been rejected by a crush?
You can't be rejected if you don't try. You don't try because there are plenty of things worse than a person saying no.
133: Broken a mirror?
Probably, but I can't remember any specific times.
134: What do I want for birthday?
Enough money so that I can live fairly comfortably and never have to work again.
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
I want zero kids. As for names, I always thought it would be funny to have a girl named Clara and a boy named Phil. Only for the joke, or course.
136: Was I named after anyone?
I mean, my name's been used for centuries, but I wasn't named after anyone specifically.
--OR--
Of course I was named after someone. A lot of someones. There are billions of years of history here on Earth.
137: Do I like my handwriting?
I like the way I write certain letters.
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
If I were to go for the easy joke, I'd say my ding-a-ling.
139: Favourite Tv Show?
I'm excited that The Good Place will be back soon.
140: Where do I want to live when older?
A house I own.
141: Play any musical instrument?
I sort of played the saxophone in elementary school. I played the trumpet in high school. I learned to sort of play the piano in college. I can currently nail a few chords on my uke, but I can't strum the darned thing correctly.
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
Whacked in the head with an oar.
143: Favourite pizza toping?
Just about anything is good on a pizza. I'm mostly always happy. Pepperoni is pretty safe for everyone. Or is the answer cheese. I don't like to eat pizza without cheese on it.
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
Only of stubbing my toe or banging my shin.
145: Am I afraid of heights?
I'm more afraid that the bridge I'm walking across will collapse, not so much how high up I am.
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
I don't do things that I bad. I was a boring teen and as I approach middle age I'll be boring at my mid-life crisis.
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Yes. Hasn't everyone?
148: What I’m really bad at
Pooping while standing up.
149: What my greatest achievements are
I don't have enough self-esteem to thing I've had any good achievements, let alone great.
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
I don't remember. If someone says something mean to me, I usually say something even meaner back to them. Also, I'm much meaner to myself than anyone has ever been to me.
151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery
That really depends on how much I win. Can't even pay for a movie ticked if I only win $5.
152: What do I like about myself
Nothing much.
153: My closest Tumblr friend
I don't have any friends on tumblr. Barely have followers. I'm not good at being part of a community. (Or is that taking part in a community? Probably both.)
154: Something I fantasise about
Walking on the Moon and looking up at a crescent Earth.
155: Any question you’d like?
Well, this is silly since I'm not following the rules as originally posted.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Look, Another List of Questions

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? strawberry lemonade iced tea (homemade)

2. Do you sleep naked? On occasion.

3.Worst physical pain? Probably when I was born. I imagine that was really painful.

4. Worst emotional pain in your life? I lost most of my emotions about 20 years ago. I'm slowly bringing them back. I think I'd like some serious emotional pain to prove I'm getting better.

5. Favorite place you’ve been to? A small beach just as the fog burns off.

6. How late did you stay up last night? 9:20 PMish

7. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be? The Moon.

8. Which of your Facebook friends lives the closest? Blarg. Who cares? I'm not even sure any of them are really friends.

9. When was the last time you cried? I was a senior in high school. So, around 21 years ago.

10. Who took your profile pic? I drew the one here, but I took a photo of the painting I use as my Facebook profile pic.

11. What's your favorite season? Winter.

12. If you could have any career what would it be? Eccentric Billionaire.

13. What was the last book you read? Dragon Wings, book one of the Deathgate Cycle, for the ninth or tenth time.

14. If you could talk to ANYONE right now, who would it be? My parents circa 1990.

15. Are you a good influence? I don't believe I am an influence.

16. Does pineapple belong on a pizza? Of course.

17. You have a remote, what channel will you be watching? Which has the best cartoon on right now.

18. 2 people who you think will play along? Does anyone check this blog semi-regularly?

19. Last concert you attended? Weird Al. It'll probably always be Weird Al

20. Favorite type of food? Is questions about way food is presented, i.e. sandwich, pizza, pie, etc.? Is it about the nation of origin, i.e. Thai, Mexican, Ethiopian, etc.? I like all kinds of foods and my favorites are usually what I'm cramming into my face at any given time.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Trickster

A fanfic story I wrote was listed as one of this person's favorites.

I'm flattered, but part of me feels like I tricked this person.

I know I didn't, but still.