Friday, April 23, 2004

Get Rid of Those Seven

When something goes right
Well it's likely to lose me, mm
It's apt to confuse me
It's such an unusual sight

----Paul Simon

I just wanted to know if there were certain kinds of blog posts that got more comments than others. That was the reason for those sickeningly sweet, but vapid blog posts last week. I figured, since the one that was written before those seven got inane comments, why bother telling the truth and sharing myself with others. Hell, I’m only sure that five people even read those seven posts.

The Moo thinks that I did it for a laugh. No, it wasn’t for a laugh. Sure, it was a little funny at first, but then it wasn’t. I’m sure in a few years it’ll really funny, but it isn’t right now.

I’m not angry. Sorry if those paragraphs make you think that. And despite the tone of this post, so far, I’m feeling better. Happier. My throat doesn’t close at work anymore and my chest isn’t constricting. The false smile I’m paid to wear comes easier now than it has in several weeks. (I’m not sure that’s a good thing, though.) I don’t scowl at the employees at stores anymore, so when I’m browsing through books or movies or music they actually approach me and ask if I need help. I often consider telling them “Yes, but not the kind that you’re offering.” but I don’t think they want to be treated that way, I know that I don’t like to be. It’s like when you answer the greeting (and why the hell has this become a greeting?) “How are you?” with a “Miserable.” all you get is a long silence, a look at their back, and then pitying looks for the rest of the day. Why ask if you don’t want an answer?

(Sometimes I hate what our language has become, like the phrase “No problem.” from someone following a “Thank you.” What the hell do they mean? That doing whatever wasn’t a problem for them, thus implying that it was a problem for you? What happened to “Your welcome.”? When did “take” start to mean “bring”? Why do people think “eager” and “anxious” mean the same thing? And why is “cannot” a word, but not “alot”?)

Any way, this post is mostly about getting those seven off the page, no more to be viewed unless you really want to view them. I don’t want to view them when (if?) I visit my blog page. They’re stupid. I could delete them, but they serve a purpose and are meant to remind me . . .

I don’t want any comments on this one. If I could disable it, just for this one post, I would, but I can’t, so I’m just asking you to leave the comments alone. If you do write one, I promise that I won’t reply or even read it. Thank you.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The internet connection is slow right now. The roommate must has set up a major download thing. This is slower than the dial-up at my parents’ house. I figure I can add to my “Get Rid of Those Seven” post.

I’ve found that I check blogs that aren’t updated daily/semi-daily more often than those that are.

I check each that are on the right over there at least once a day (when the connection doesn’t suck!) to read what’s on their minds. The ones that post daily/semi-daily I only check once (unless I can’t find other things to do), but I check the ones that post very infrequently much more often. When Johnny Logic wasn’t posting (due to trip and/or computer problems) I checked his site three or four times when I was on-line. I’m currently doing that with Altered Ego’s blog. I’ve been doing that with Heels’s blog for months now. Maybe I should ask her for an update, last time I asked, she posted (although she thought someone else had asked her). If she won’t post, I’d at least like to be able to look at her past posts. I didn’t know about her blog (and my other friends’ blogs) until a month before I started posting. I can read their backlog of thought, but not hers, and that does, I’m embarrassed to admit, annoy me. I’ll get over it, though.

2nd brother is coming to Cowcity. He’ll be at the bus station in a under an hour. I’m picking him up. I should probably prepare myself for driving downtown. I have to face one-way streets and the possibility of paying for parking. This is why I’ve only been downtown twice since I moved here, and didn’t drive either time.

Wish me luck.

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