I have made a decision.
I've thought about it seriously and responsibly and, all things considered, it's the right thing for me.
I feel good about it.
And here it is:
I am going to get over my useless fucking problem and get on with my life.
Sure, I'll still have a gaping hole in my middle, but the more I pretend it's not there the less I'll notice it until I'm so used to it that it may as well not be there at all.
I don't think I'll get the program I ordered. I should be able to get the money I spent on it back. I don't think I can return the books I bought, though. So, that's only sixty buck I'm screwed out of. If I do get the program, I won't be screwed out of anything.
I doubt I'll be hired by the one place that's given me an interview. It's Thursday and I don't think they'll be calling me with good news tomorrow, if they call at all. I'm pretty sure I can live with that. I have an interview scheduled for the 14th. Sure, it's four hour trip for a 1:30 interview, but maybe they'll be desperate and I'll be hired, it seems to be the only way that I ever get hired. (If requested to, I'll tell all about why I was hired at the jobs I've had in my life.)
And I am going to WonderCon (Google it) this weekend. For sure on Saturday, possibly on Sunday. If I can convince my brother to spend $10 and however much bus fare is, I'll be there on Sunday.
Tomorrow may be as stupid and dreary as today and the rest of this week, but I'm going to put a smile on my face and push through.
2 comments:
I am going to get over my useless fucking problem and get on with my life.
Sure, I'll still have a gaping hole in my middle, but the more I pretend it's not there the less I'll notice it until I'm so used to it that it may as well not be there at all.
Well I don't know what the fucking problem is, but it sounds like you've decided to be responsible (oy I hate that word) and "settle" for whatever. I guess that's fine if it's really what you want to do, but dude, I settled and guaranteed it'll rear its ugly head at one point and bite you in the ass. Rather than settle, maybe you should just take care of whatever it is? Just sayin'
Jazz, I not sure what to say, but I'll do my best.
I'm pretty sure that I have settled, it's something that I'm really good at, but really I can't go running out and demanding that the place that isn't going to hire me hire me. I don't think it ever works that way except in movies and on sit-coms.
As for the program that I really want (a 3D modeling software called XSI), it's an academic version and I didn't know that when I ordered it (because it was hidden in all the little text that I only skimmed instead of focusing in on it). I'm not a student or teacher or in any other way affiliated with a school, so I can't get the good price. The actual price for the version that I have tried to order is about $7000. No wonder I got such a deal, huh? I could get the bare bones version for $500, but it doesn't even have a hair/fur modeler.
So, for not I'm going to settle. Maybe if I ever get $7000 dollars to toss out or I get back to school, I'll get a little piece of a dream back. For now, though, I won't. (Unless the place I ordered XSI from is dishonest and they send it to me anyway! If that's the case, in a few weeks you'll be reading very happy posts and I'll start doing pictures!)
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