Smallville-"1961" or "Major Make-out Time"
Is there anyone else out there who wants to grab Lana Lang by here pretty little head and shake her yelling, "GET A PERSONALITY! YOU'RE BORING! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN A GOOD GIRL CLICHE?" Probably not many, but the more screen time she gets, the more annoying she is to me. I swear the creators were just sitting around, pulled out their copy of The Little Big Book of Character Personalities and choose "Good Girl Personality #3" from page 54. Lazy bastards. Pretty face, perky breasts, and no personality don't make an interesting character, that's the biggest problem with most TV and many movies.
Onward to the actual episode.
First half of the episode, very weak. Second half, much stronger. It all begins with Lana visiting her great-aunt's former husband in prison (the great-aunt happens to look exactly like Lana). He was put there because he was found guilty of killing his wife, he denies it, of course, and accuses some guy who drifted though Smallville 40 years ago. Lana sees a picture of the drifter, that happens to look exactly like Clark and bring it to him saying, "It could be your father." That gets Clark interested and he once again visits the (cue eerie music) cave. There he gets a piece of metal and memories. Now, when he touches certain things, he gets even longer flashes of memories.
The memories he gets in the beginning are mostly a lame love story between the aunt and the drifter. There's a long make-out scene in a barn, with a steady-cam that goes in several circles around the kissers, that probably had many a fanboys drooling. Eventually, somewhere near the half-hour mark, auntie gets shot by someone who isn't a drifter and isn't her husband. Gasp! There, I've ruined the suckey parts of the show.
Now the episode gets decent. Clark wants to bring the truth to light. I can't tell you how, because if you didn't see the episode you probably don't care, and if you did you probably hate my rant on Lana, and therefore you hate me. But the conclusions is very satisfying, and in a wonderful appearance, the Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files is the Mayor of Smallville. I wish that he'd come back to the show, but Smallville has a horrible habit of not bring back characters. Hell, I doubt that Perry White will be back, even though he's played by Ma Kent's real life husband.
Oh well.
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