Silver Lining

Sunday, in the early afternoon, my brain shut down. It still hasn't reset.

Today started off right where yesterday ended, me with an exploded head. Unfortunately, I was expected to still make drinks. I did okay. On autopilot, I get 95% of the drinks called to written and completed correctly. The rest of me was waiting for its turn to explode. That never came.

Today was a day that wouldn't end. I got there at 5AM and three hours later it still wasn't six. A new person was being trained. For the longest time, she stood off to the side and stared at those of us actually working. She's not allowed to handle money, she hasn't completed that module in her book yet. She's not allowed to make hot drinks, she hasn't completed that module. She's not allowed to make cold drinks, guess why. She's not allowed to do anything except grind, scoop, clean, and play with pastries. Why schedule her for 7 hours and not have her work on the modules?

Round about noon-thirty--manager hidden in back, trainee gone, ASGG (who was the shift supervisor) off somewhere--two gangly, probably high school guys, walked into the store with attitude. Both hunched over, sullen eyes roaming around the store as if looking for someone to challenge them. They thought they were better than everyone in the place and wanted a chance to prove it. I started to grin, I knew they were both idiots and had yet to do anything to really earn the attitude, unless you think it's really hard to ditch school.

DFFB stepped up to the register. I meandered from cleaning a corner to the bar and picked up a pen. "Hey guys, what can we get for you?" asked DFFB in a cheery voice he can always summon.

"Tell me how much is left on this," said the scruffier of the two, flicking a card at DFFB's face.

DFFB ran it and told them the total. Scruffy ordered.

"What about me?" asked the other. "Can I get something, too?"

Scruffy took a few steps back, gestured his friend to follow, they hunched over even more, and started to whisper.

Scruffy stood up. "My friend wants a strawberry thing, how much will that be?" he demanded.

DFFB told him the new total and said, "You need ten more cents."

"Can you spot us?" asked Scruffy.

"I don't have money to buy your drink," said DFFB

Scruffy got red in the face, "Can we take it out of here?"

"Those are our tips, there's no way you're taking it from there."

Scruffy stepped back and turned around, trying to burn the store down with his eyes. "Can you spot us ten cents?" he asked the couple next in line.

They didn't answer.

I stepped over to DFFB and asked if I should make the drinks.

Scruffy spotted me. "Give me ten cents for my drinks," he demanded.

"Any money I bring to work," I said, "won't be spent on drinks I get for free."

Scruffy got redder. The guy behind him gave DFFB a dime. I made the drinks. When I handed them out, Scruffy looked like he wanted to hit me in the nose. My grin was huge.

I made more drinks, many more drinks. After finishing, I wiped down the counters I'd dirtied and looked out the window. There was Scruffy and his friend sitting outside at the table nearest the back door, smoking. Scruffy spoke, his hands gestured at the parking lot. Scruffy's friend moved his left hand across the table, hiding something in his hand that he didn't want the parking lot to see, but clearly visible through the window. It was a joint. I started to chuckle.

"What's up?" asked DFFB.

"Those two morons are out there smoking a joint," I stammered out between laughing fits. "They're trying to hide it, but I saw it through the window."

"Really?"

"Yup," I said, turning back to watch the idiots.

A few seconds later, ASGG asked, "What's that you said earlier?"

"Those retards out there are smoking a joint, trying to hide it, but I can see it through the window," I said.

"Are you sure it's not a rolled cigarette?"

"If it is, they're rolling it in a really strange way, and really thing. It's a joint. Damn, they're stupid."

ASGG's face flushed. He hurried over to the trash, grabbed a bag, and nearly ran to the back door. He disappeared around the corner to ditch the trash. I watched him come back, breathing deeply as he passed the table. Three steps away, he turned and spoke to the two 'tards.

Scruffy's friend stood up and started walking away. Scruffy stood and looked at ASGG and began making broad gestures with his hands.

ASGG narrowed his eyes and said (I could read his lips), "We don't want you smoking that here. Get the fuck away from here and never come back."

I laughed so hard, my sides hurt.