"Asprin Commercials Give Me Headaches."

Yesterday, I woke up with a headache.

One of those headaches that wakes you up before 6AM on a Sunday and won't let you go back to sleep.

One of those headaches that throbs and with each throb you get more and more nauseous.

One of those headaches that hurt so much that you lay in bed and seriously consider peeing there rather than walking to the bathroom because any moving will only make your head hurt worse.

Eventually, I got up and out because I'd rather be in pain than wallowing in my own waste.

After the bathroom, I dragged my feet to the room with the TV, settled down on some pillows and watched the CBS Sunday Morning show. (The only morning show that I can stand watching even when my head is fine. P.S. The website sucks. I was hoping that it would have a simple elegance to it, like the show does. Instead, it just looks like every other CBS News site.) I watched it from start to finish without recording it first. I don't think I've ever done that before.

I don't remember much. Stuff sold at Target. Some weird boxy houses. A toilet. Cute puppies.

The website says the show was about design. I don't understand how the puppies fit into design, but the other stuff makes sense.

I don't remember moving for the entire hour and a half of the show. I probably shifted my body from time to time, but I didn't get up. I tried to not move my head.

After the show ended, I remember that my mom gave me some super pills just in case I got a headache of horrendous caliber.

I pulled myself up and staggered around my apartment looking for the bag I brought with me the last time I visited Cowtown. I knew that that was where the pills were.

I searched for what seemed like an hour, but was really about ten minutes before I, literally, stumbled over the bag. In the little pocket without a hole, I found the handful of pills my mom gave me, wrapped carefully in pairs by the company. I grabbed one serving of the pills and lurched toward the kitchen for water so I could swallow my little chemical saviors.

I gulped down water and pills and once again settled myself in front of the TV. This time, I watched my bootleg Daria.

By the end of the third episode, I was feeling better. My head still hurt, but very lightly. I no longer felt nauseous. I could function.

I just thought you all might like to know all that.