Example: I picked up my comics yesterday and as I was paying, Chris, who is spotty at remembering my name for reasons that will soon become clear, asked me what I was doing. Here's the perfect moment to try and make a friend, right? He likes comics and I like comics. Sometimes even the same comics. (Last week he seemed genuinely happy to see me picking up 52, American Splendor, True Story, Swear To God, and some Legion of Super-Heroes back issues and said that my stack that week looked exactly like his. I made a comment about him already having the Legion issues. He said something about trades. I left.) What do I say? I told him I'm going to try and gets lots of sleep. He laughed. I smiled and left. When I got out to the street to cross, I realized that I'm a real asshole and maybe it would have been nice to geek-out for a while with an actual person in person rather than occasionally spout off here or throw out two sentences on another blog or hope to see my brother (HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!).
So, I'm wondering how do people do it? How do they just start talking to someone they hardly know? How do they go around posting huge comments on blogs of people they've never met?
I haven't, and this may be hard for some people out there to believe, made a friend without the help of a friend since the fourth grade. That's, shit, eighteen years ago. The really great friends I made in high school I met because one of my elementary friends had infiltrated another group and had decided to pull me in with him. (I'm still not sure why. Especially since he went a different direction soon after.) For that, I'll always be grateful because I still see and e-mail some of those people several times a year.
*sigh*
Also, Tuesday was the birthday of someone who was my best friend for years and years. This was the first time, ever, that I didn't send a birthday greeting via e-mail or as a card. I haven't seen this person in over a year. I don't know why I didn't do it.
6 comments:
I write comments on blogs of people I don't know in the hope that 1)they will find me to a witty person, and 2)that they will maybe consider me to be their friend, even if we never actually meet in person.
Who knows why I find your blog interesting, I just do. If you could talk to people in person the way you "sound" in writing, you should have no trouble making friends.
Observe, then emnulate, people who are good at meeting new people. It works for me.
posting comments on blogs of people I've never met, is the easiest thing ever. They have no idea who I am. They can't see me. So it's no big deal.
As for talking to strangers in real life, it's a matter of rehearsal, really. It feels a bit like swimming in syrup at first, but then it gets easier. The trick is, I found, to not worry so much about what people might think. If you make an ass of yourself, he/she is just a stranger, after all, so it doesn't really matter.
Sean's got a point there. And stories to go with it. In fact, I've a few stories of Sean that go with it...
I know this is going to sound like a "mother" thing to say, but you really are a fabulous person who is actually quite witty and entertaining to talk to when you get going.
Love you!
This is going to sound strange, but here's what I do (this is a BIG secret I'm giving you, so don't laugh too much):
Pretend to be a person who is exactly like you, but not you, and who is skilled at social junk. In other words, act your ass off.
It's safe because you're not really you, but it's not lying because this fake person has all the same opinions and likes/dislikes as you. Eventually you phase out the fake guy and bring in the real guy, since the person, by that time, will be your friend.
If you have any questions about this technique, you know how to reach me.
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