How To Have a Three Day Weekend And Fall Even More Behind On Your NaNoWriMo Novel

Be in a really bad mood on Thursday. So bad that you forget that it's Thursday and think it's really Friday and plan on going to a movie to make yourself feel better.

Get to the theater and realize that the movie you want to see starts the next day.

Wander around the town for an hour with no purpose other than to try to get rid of your mood.

Stop in at the comic shop and pick up some comics, but don't bother to read them because you're in such a bad mood it'd only ruin the experience.

Wander some more.

Eventually, get back to your apartment, turn on reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, even though you don't like the show, and heat up leftovers that aren't fuzzy and don't stink, yet.

Call the good movie theater to see what's playing there.

Go to the only showing, the last showing, of Death of a President, which isn't the cheeriest movie out there right now but is still excellent.

Climb in bed and sleep as soon as you get back.

The next morning, actually sleep in, but wake up with that bad mood hanging on like a tick on a dog's stomach.

Stare at the sausage that's been in the freezer for three months and wonder if it's safe to eat.

Cook it and eat it with scrambled eggs.

Call the downtown movie theater to find out when the movie you wanted to see yesterday is playing.

Shower, get dressed, and walk to the movie theater for the first showing.

See a huge line and offer a quick prayer to Cricket Christ that they're all there to see Borat or The Santa Clause 3 and not Stranger than Fiction.

Sit back with popcorn with lots of greasy fake butter stuff to enjoy the movie.

Laugh out loud at parts you think are funny, even if the rest of the audience isn't laughing.

Feel a little better, but don't head back to your apartment.

Instead, look at new shoes since two of the three pairs you own have holes in the bottom and the other pair is so old that there's only most no traction left, especially when it's wet out.

Find shoes you like, try them on, and walk around a little.

Don't buy the shoes because you're not sure how much money you have in your checking account at the moment and you don't have your credit card with you because you leave it out of your wallet so when you are going to use it you actually have to think about using it to decide if it's really worth it.

Don't go right back to your apartment to find out how much money you have or grab your credit card, instead keep looking at shoes and then expand into looking at all the things you can not, should not, and would not buy.

Dream of what you would do with all the things you can not, should not, and would not buy.

Be horrified at the "shoe stores" that devote more room to hats and hoodie sweatshirts than actual shoes.

Watch the people walking around the mall and marvel at how people of all races and religions can get along here, but not at a high school football game.

Wonder if the only true form of worship in this day and age is the accumulation of money and stuff.

Get bored and head back to your apartment.

Cook ramen for dinner.

Turn on your computer and promise to sit down and start writing soon.

Put on headphones and listen to music.

Sit down at computer.

Instead of typing, get up and change the sheets on your bed.

Clean the toilet.

Wash the dishes.

Decide you're tired and want to sleep.

Take off headphones, turn off the computer, promise you'll work hard tomorrow, and climb in bed.

Wake up early the next morning.

Gather clothes for trip to the laundry because socks should only stand up when they're on your feet.

Shower.

Go to the laundromat and wash and dry and fold clothes.

While there, try not to stare at the better looking people.

Stop by the store on the way back to your apartment for milk and batteries.

Find milk and batteries.

Wander around the store just in case there's something you forgot you needed.

Find many things you forgot you needed.

Chat with the girl at the checkout counter about the weather.

Hope it made her day better because all it did was waste two minutes of your day.

Drive back to apartment.

Carry everything, including the clean laundry, up the stairs in only two trips.

Read a comic book to celebrate.

Turn on your computer and plan to get to work soon.

Put milk and other perishable groceries away.

Replace batteries in smoke detectors.

Read two comic books to celebrate.

"Clean" the pile of comics on the floor of your bedroom by pushing them around the floor while trying not to read any of them.

Fail.

Find a game you haven't played in a while in the pile and decide to play it, but only for a little while because you have to write more.

Suddenly realize it's 9:30 and you haven't eaten anything since you got back from shopping and you're hungry.

Eat something then turn off the computer and go to bed, after reading the rest of the comics you bought.

Enjoy Franklin Richards, Son of a Genius: Happy Franksgiving! and Phonogram 1 and 3 quite a bit. (You bought 2 the month before because the cover is beautiful.)

Wake-up the next morning later than usual, but earlier than you'd like and wander around your apartment trying to figure out if there's anything that you should be doing that's important.

Watch an episode of Star Trek while eating breakfast.

Clean the bathtub while showering.

Watch another episode of Star Trek.

Turn on computer and sit at it saying to yourself that this is the time to get cracking.

Play Minesweeper and Solitaire and Hearts and Spider Solitaire and Pyramid for an embarrassingly long time.

Finally open the file and look at it.

Play another game of Minesweeper and promise yourself that it'll only be one game, this time, but know that you're lying to yourself.

Turn on the TV and watch an info-mercial about a little blender and one about coins; switch quickly between the two in case you miss something important.

Put on another episode of Star Trek.

Play the game from yesterday, but only for a little while; help that by setting a timer for two hours.

Make dinner and watch another Star Trek while eating.

Turn off the TV after you've flossed and brushed your teeth.

Sit down at your computer once again.

Put on headphones and turn on random music.

Skip to a song you like.

Finally start writing.

Write until you get enough words to put you at where you should have been at the end of Thursday, if you had been on time then.

Turn off the computer, climb in bed, and go to sleep with the feeling of guilt gnawing away at your stomach.