It's Just Been

It's been raining today, though it's not right now. The building smells wet, but not in the good clean way that outside smells. It smells sour. And it's been hot in here all day. Why, when it rains, do people automatically assume that it means cold?

I've felt off all day today. I think it's the heat and the smell and the bad for me breakfast I had this morning. Hopefully once I leave I'll be my normal self. No promises, though.

I only wrote about 1250 words of my "novel" last night. More than I thought I'd write, but not as much as I should. If I keep up this pace, I'll get about 37500 words written by the thirtieth. Except I have to load the stuff at work, so I suppose it'd really be around 36250 words. I posted an excerpt on my profile page, but I'm having trouble just loading the profile, let alone the excerpt. It's the beginning of the story.

I should be working, but I don't want to. And I don't mean I don't want to in the playful sense, I mean that I don't want to work. At least I don't want to work here. Maybe it's because there are leaks coming through the ceiling like there are every time it rains. Maybe it's because people won't stop talking about SUSM's panic attack yesterday. Maybe it's the way everyone points out the obvious. (There's only so many times I can hear someone say that it's raining. And then there are those who passed by while I was getting the mail ready and each one asked, "Are you getting the mail ready?" I know it's a rhetorical question, so I don't answer, and then they hover. They're not interested in learning how to use the mail machine, they're just hovering. I can't just tell them to fuck off because that'd be rude, even though that's all I want to do.)

I have enough money saved for a deposit and first month's rent or first and last month's rent, but I don't quite have enough for all three. (I did, briefly, but I decided to pay off a student loan instead.) I should have all the money I need by the first of February, if nothing goes wrong.

I need a new job.

I need a new location.

I'd like a new state or country.

I want something different.