Friday, May 18, 2007

From My MySpace Blog

Six

A year ago, a friend wrote a great blog post called "Can I clarify?"

When I read this bulletin I knew I had to do the something similar.

It was titled "Girls take a look"

you might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls dont realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.
Unless the two of you are having sex on a semi-regular basis, then he's not going to move on... unless he found someone with bigger tits.
From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.
It all depends on the situation. I'm not a fan of a woman talking to (or about) another guy (or a woman) during foreplay, or sex, or other private moments. I'm sure she doesn't want me talking to another woman at those times.

Of course, If I'm not bumping uglies with her, she can talk to other guys all she wants.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
Unless we're dating and the other guy is a friend with "benefits."
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
Again, are we dating? If we aren't I'm not that much of a whiner. Leave me with Mario Kart and I'm good.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
See above.
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
I won't be too concerned, mostly I'll panic from the shock of being woken up at 2 AM from a comfortable deep sleep the too loud ring of the phone. After the panic, I'll be sleepy.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.
Except a friend being stranded on the highway with a dead car, or the death of a loved one, or a fire, you know, things that are important anytime of the day no matter what.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/stunning, we freaking mean it.
Unless we're running late and we want you to get moving. Or if we're trying to avoid an argument that there's no way to win. We'll tell you anything we thing you want to hear to do either of those things.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
Unless we really are because even though some of us may not like to be told we're wrong but when we are we should be told because most of us like being an asshole less than we like being told we're wrong.

Or is this about us telling you that you look nice? If it is, then don't tell us because we don't want to be late/don't want to have a fight.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
This must be about the looks thing. And it's a lie. As long as we think we're running late because of you're dress or hair or make-up, we'll keep telling you that you look great.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
I swear, it was your confidence I noticed across the room, not curve of your leg or the bounce of you bosom. It was your confidence!

Why don't you believe me?
Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take advantage of the mood i'm in.
Can we cross out that second sentence and fill its place with "I'm trying to impress you because I'm hoping it'll increase the likelihood of sex with you tonight."?

However, if you see us holding the door open for some random person going in or coming out, then maybe the new sentence isn't quite right. Still, the hope for sex is there.
let us pay for you!dont "feel bad"

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."
Are we just friends? If so, you're probably going to be paying for yourself, unless it's a gift or I won the lottery or something like that.

If we're dating and my paying upsets you though, don't just smile and say, "thank you," because closing off the lines of communication and holding in a bad feeling toward me is the best way to start a healthy relationship.
Kiss us when no one's watching.
Not if I'm eating, though. I'll share off my plate, but I'm not a bird; I don't share my meal with you from my mouth.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be even more impressed.
Because all we want to do is show the world that we bagged some chick and try to convince everyone that we may be having sex tonight and aren't all the other people out there jealous yet!
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
Because sweat pants are easier for us to pull off. Complicated underwear may be sexy to look at, but going from full mast to half mast as we're trying to get you out of the underwear can't make you feel any better than it makes us feel.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
Lies! See that thing I wrote about trying to impress the world a couple of quotes ago.
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
I swear, baby, it was your confidence that attracted me to you!
honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up
Because, frankly, we don't want high maintenance women. They cost too much.

(A preamble and a question: The boxer thing has always seemed strange to me. I don't get it. Am I supposed to feel all sexy when I wear the shorts next because I know girl parts have rubbed up against where my boy parts are currently rubbing?)
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Because you know, we're all jokers and are frightened of meaningful conversations about the "War on Terror" and politics and the latest theatrical interpretation of Hamlet.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Yeah, right. (This is where I'd be rolling my eyes, if you could see me.)
Don't get angry easily.
We'll probably just blame it on PMS and then every time you get angry we'll do our best to ignore it because it's just PMS.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
The Bible is The Bible and even though we're having pre-martial sex it's still the Word of God and all those magazines totally ignore the story of that guy from the place where the terrorists live now. You know the guy. He did the thing that was really important. For the people. He was a son, or something. I think he liked animals. You know the guy.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
And I'm too insecure about myself to not get defensive and moody when you talk about guys you'll never meet and aren't dating.

PS I'll probably snicker when you say Chesnutt. It's just my way.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"
I've never seen the word '"handsome"/"beautiful"' I think it was just made up here and now. How special!
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted mewith "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy" or whatever else you can think of.
Actually, I'd rather you use my name. Some word that gets used so often in ways that make little sense isn't who I am. And I promise not to call you "sweet cheeks," okay?
on the other hand im not sayin i wouldnt like it ether ; )
Because I need that reassurance from you. I'm that insecure.
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change. ditch his sorry, disgrace to the male population ass and find someone who will treat you with utter respect
Because all women should be put on a pedestal to be viewed and treated like trinkets. They're not people, after all.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Even though you bible is, apparently, "magazines/media."
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Rather than listen to you and help you through what's going on he should distract you so you think he cares.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Because, you know, most people are afraid of your mistakes and they don't like you when you make them.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Even if you make them feel like an utterly worthless piece of fat that the dog won't even eat it.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say "i love you"...and actually mean it.
As opposed to the moments when he gives you're hand a reassuring squeeze before you go off for an interview or something else you may be nervous. Or the time's he give you a back or foot rub when you don't ask for one. Because you're so insecure you need to hear the words to actually believe he loves you.
Give the nice guys a chance
They deserve nookie, too.
Guys repost this if you agree

Girls repost this if you think it's cute
Or repost this if you feel like clogging the bulletins with the more useless crap.
Every guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this
I guess that means I'm not a jerk.

I did repost it.
*Holdin Hands
Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.
I'm not grabbing sticky hands. And clammy hands are pretty bad, too.
*Cuddling
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
Um, if you tell me you're cold, I'll get you a blanket or a coat to warm you up. I'm just dense that way. If you want to cuddle, either tell me or start cuddling, hopefully I'll catch on.
*Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.
If we're at the theater, I want to watch the movie. I paid the money to see it and I do my best not to see crap movies in the theater.

Also, If I put my arm around you in a movie theater, it's probably because I'm cold and I want some of your body heat because I gave you my coat when you said you were cold but really wanted to cuddle.
*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
Because nothing says "I love you" like actually saying the words!
*Laying below the stars
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
If her head is on my chest, how can I whisper in her ear? And if she's listening to my heart beat, how can she hear what I whisper when I figure out how to get down there? And what if my heart beat isn't steady? What then?!
By 12 am tonight your one true love will realize how much they want you.
It won't help if she lives in Europe and doesn't know my name, though, will it.
repost as: guys point of view
Ummm, how about I just call it Six? It is the next one in a series, after all.

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