JOKES

I have no time or content today. I thought I'd copy Choochoo's post today and do a joke, which I wrote in her comments hoping other people would write jokes, too. They didn't.

I'll also write another one, which you may or may not have heard before.

If you have a joke, please put it in the comments, or write it on your blog and drop me a link.

Enjoy.

The first joke:
A woman was driving throught he country admiring the rolling green hills. She saw a herd of sheep and slowed down a bit to get a good look and admire the curly haired animals that she never got to see, living in the city. Suddenly she heard a "Baaaa... Baaaa... Baaaaaaa!" that kept repeating itself with some regularity. She stopped her car, leaned over to get a better look out the passenger side window, and saw a naked man out in the field standing behind a sheep. Thrusting his hips. With each thrust the man made she heard another "Baaaaaa!"

She drove off as quickly as she could and at the next drive way pulled in. She got out of her car, ran up to the house, and pounded on the door. A boy with very curly, blond hair opened the door.

"There's a man," said the woman, "out in your field having sex with your sheep!"

"It's okay," said the boy. "That's my daaaaaaaad."

The second joke:
One evening after going to the theater, two men were walking down the street when they saw a well dressed and attractive lady walking just ahead of them. One of the men turned to the other and said, "I'd give $50.00 to spend the night with that woman."

To their surprise the lady overheard him and, turning around, she said, "I'll take you up on that." She had a smokey voice and looked clean, so, after blowing his friend off, the man followed the lady to her apartment, where they immediately went to her room, jumped into bed, and had so-so sex..

The following morning the man handed her $25.00.

As he started to leave she demanded the rest of the money saying, "If you don't give me the money I'll sue you for it."

He laughed and said, "I'd like to see you try."

The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering to court as defendant in a law suit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His lawyer said: "She can't possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case is presented."

In court, after the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court: "Your Honor, my client, this woman here, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specific length of time for the sum of $50.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises he paid only $25.00 which is only half the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask judgement to be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance."

The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused at the way the opponent had presented the case. His defense, therefore, was different from the what he had originally prepared. "Your Honor, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well on the property, around which he placed his stones, sunk a shaft and erected a pump, all labor being performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property adequately compensated for rental of said property. We therefore, ask judgement be not granted."

The young lady's lawyer said, "Your Honor, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property and that he did make improvements such as my opponent has described. However, had the defendant not known the well existed, he would never have rented the property, also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it easily accessible to little children. We therefore, ask that judgement be granted."

The judgement was granted.

Hope to see read some of yours!