Hypocrisy?

It may be an exaggeration, but I hate the CSI shows with a fiery passion.

The first time I watched an episode was while I was visiting some friends. They enjoyed the show. I was pretty indifferent about it until they did something really, really stupid:

The team found a body that had been stabbed. To find out what kind of a blade was used to stab the guy, the lab person decided it was best to pour plaster into the wound and, after it had hardened, use the casting to to find the type of blade.

I need to repeat that: They poured plaster into a hole in a humans gut and got a perfect casting of a knife blade.

My brain immediately cried out "BULLSHIT!"

I've used plaster to make castings in sand and dirt and always the plaster has pushed some of the sand or dirt out from the point that I poured it. Always. And the inside of a human body is way squishier than sand. That plaster would have gone into the cut and spread out, pushing the flesh out, and then hardened into a lump that looked nothing like a knife.

Then there was the episode where a woman lined up a hundred little lasers to show where each and every bullet came from. Sure, it looked cool in the dark, dusty room, but I just couldn't believe that any police department did that, even on in Vegas.

The knife and the lasers may have set me off, but I could have forgiven the pseudoscience if the police work had been more realistic. CSI people, no matter their rank, don't do the foot work. They take pictures of the crime scene. They look for any evidence. They analyze the evidence. And they take their analysis to the detectives on the cases and the district attorney's office. They don't, or very rarely, draw their sidearm and chase suspects into abandoned building then grill 'em in an interrogation room until the suspect breaks down and confesses or at least points them to the right person. No. They spend most of their time in a lab, playing with chemicals and such to build evidence that the DA can use in court.

Now, if the show choose only one crazy thing to do, the pseudoscience or super-CSIs, I may have been more forgiving, but the show does both, and it drives me nuts.

I think I've given the original CSI a fair shake. I've watched several episodes, by choice. I watched the two directed by Quentin Tarantino because I hoped that he could bring something new to the show. He didn't. They looked and sounded and felt exactly like a regular episode. I watched the Wil Wheaton episode because for a time I actually thought I could support his acting career by doing so. I'm pretty sure it didn't, though. And there have been other random episodes here and there, but nothing has convinced me that it's worth my time.

Of the New York one, I've only seen the episode from Miami that introduced the basic characters. I have to admit that out of the three main guys on these shows, Gary Sinise chews the scenery the best. Still can't bring myself to watch the show, though.

All that said, I have to admit that I've seen quite a few episodes of CSI: Miami. I wish I could say that it was because I only get two channels that aren't in Spanish or about "God." No. I wish I could say that it's better than the others in the franchise. It's not. I can't stand the guy in charge of the department. He sucks.

The only reason I watch CSI: Miami is Emily Procter. Not only is she stunning, she has a wonderful Southern accent that tickles my fancy. (It tickled my fancy years before when she played Ainsley Hayes on West Wing, too.)

So, I will continue to hate the CSI shows, but until Ms. Procter leaves, I'm afraid I'll be watching one.