Out of a horribly morbid sense of curiosity, which is worse: 1) Children coming to realize that they aren't a parent's favorite daughter or son? or 2) Children realizing that a parent loves him or herself more than the children?
I've only experienced one of them, but I think an educated guess would be they experience the first one at an earlier age. A child is very wrapped up in their siblings. You don't notice your parent's narcissism until you are quite mature.
Oh! I was answering the question from in here and not out there. I'd say #1 is worse. and that goes back to it being experienced earlier. By the time you are old enough to even realize your parent only cares about themself, your personality is pretty much formed. Figuring out as a child that a sibling is preferred can cause your personality.
Intersting question. I would have gone for the second one off the bat, and then I read Geewit's answer and now I'm not so sure. Geewits is really good at messing with my head.
I don't see either of them as so bad. It's normal for people to like/love some people better/more than others even when the people in question are your kids and it's also normal for kids to think their parents don't really love them as much as they love themselves. And really, both issues are a matter of perception -the child believes, based on whatever evidence, that the parents love a sibling or themselves more.
Heels -- All I can say is that sucks. And I'm sorry.
Xup -- The question wasn't "are either of them bad?" It was "which is worse?"
Whether or not this sort of an experience is bad for a child is something that an individual will realize eventually. Good and bad experiences are what, hopefully, help us to grow and change for the better and make decisions on how future generations will be treated.
In the short term, the moment a child realizes that he or she isn't a favorite or that a parent is more very self involved and narcissistic hurts and probably hurts hard. But I was wonder which people think hurts more in that moment. Which is the punch to the stomach and which is the kick to the balls? Or are they both a kick to the balls?
14 comments:
The second, by far. Or try both together.
Which do you think YOU are?
I can tell you right now that you aren't either of those and that #2 is much worse.
Thanks for the answers.
I guess my next question would be, which do you think happens at an earlier age?
And Moooooooo, it's not about me.
Usually probably the first, I'd think.
I've only experienced one of them, but I think an educated guess would be they experience the first one at an earlier age. A child is very wrapped up in their siblings. You don't notice your parent's narcissism until you are quite mature.
Oh! I was answering the question from in here and not out there. I'd say #1 is worse. and that goes back to it being experienced earlier. By the time you are old enough to even realize your parent only cares about themself, your personality is pretty much formed. Figuring out as a child that a sibling is preferred can cause your personality.
Intersting question. I would have gone for the second one off the bat, and then I read Geewit's answer and now I'm not so sure. Geewits is really good at messing with my head.
Thanks, everyone.
Hey, what do you think she meant by '#2 is much worse?'
It's not my place to speculate.
I can say from experience that, no matter how fucked up the first makes you, and no matter at what age you realize the second, the second is worse.
I don't see either of them as so bad. It's normal for people to like/love some people better/more than others even when the people in question are your kids and it's also normal for kids to think their parents don't really love them as much as they love themselves. And really, both issues are a matter of perception -the child believes, based on whatever evidence, that the parents love a sibling or themselves more.
Heels -- All I can say is that sucks. And I'm sorry.
Xup -- The question wasn't "are either of them bad?" It was "which is worse?"
Whether or not this sort of an experience is bad for a child is something that an individual will realize eventually. Good and bad experiences are what, hopefully, help us to grow and change for the better and make decisions on how future generations will be treated.
In the short term, the moment a child realizes that he or she isn't a favorite or that a parent is more very self involved and narcissistic hurts and probably hurts hard. But I was wonder which people think hurts more in that moment. Which is the punch to the stomach and which is the kick to the balls? Or are they both a kick to the balls?
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