When new movie version of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe was released on DVD I pissed off a friend by asking her who the Pevensie kids were going to marry and have kids with since they're all related. I mean they don't want to go the whole incest route and have flipper babies, do they?
She told me that there are other humans.
Not in Narnia, I said.
She said that other humans lived in the other lands.
I asked her how they can be humans. How can they be humans if they're not Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve?
I could tell she wanted to throttle me, but I went on to say that if the other people aren't Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve, wouldn't it be like having sex with a shaved chimp that had plastic surgery to look more human? Would the God of Adam and Eve be okay with that? Or would it be more like Kirk having sex with an Orion Slave Girl? She's a big Star Trek fan.
She insisted that there are other humans in Narnia.
I asked her to show me the proof. Just because something looks human doesn't mean it is. Didn't we learn anything from the first Terminator movie?
Shut the fuck up, she told me.
They're going to have flipper babies, I said, under my breath, flapping there way through life. No wonder there are no kings and queens in Narnia when Caspian’s ancestors take over.
5 comments:
Dude, it's the end of the human race. Or they could go the incest route but would have to have tons of kids to weed out the ones that weren't viable. Hey, you started it.
They couldn't be monogamous either. Have to shake up that gene pool a little bit.
Ew.
What? She seriously believes there are other humans in Narnia? Pfft. I guess that's the problem with adults reading kids books.
Actually, it's more like adults forgetting what they read when they were kids. Then they'd actually be able to argue, rather than just tell other to shut up.
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