Dear Fanfic Authors,

I have a request. It's a simple request: Please stop apologizing when you post a chapter.

I understand the impulse to apologize when you do something that you think is later than it should have been or when the ginger snaps you make aren't as snappy as they should be or the fire in the woodstove heats the house too well. (Yes, these are all my experiences.) It's an impulse (habit?) that I've been working on for several years.

I also understand that the apologies hit differently when a fic is read as the chapters are posting.

But it's annoying when the fic is complete(ish) and every other chapter has an apology attached to it. It's cool with me you acknowledging that the chapter is later than you'd hoped, but there's no need to apologize. Your fic is a gift that you are giving to all of us. We are not paying you for it. Fanfiction is not (and should never) be transactional. You do not owe us the chapter. People should be thanking you every damn time you post a chapter.

Please remember, your fic will be around for a long time. (Unless you get filled with a stupid, craziness and erase everything.) More people will, hopefully, read and enjoy your fic after you are done with it. If there's no reason to apologize to the people reading as you post, there's even less of a reason to apologize to those of us reading it later.

I enjoy your fic. I'm glad to have read it. I want you to enjoy writing the fic and I want you to know that it is appreciated.

Be well.

Trickster

A fanfic story I wrote was listed as one of this person's favorites.

I'm flattered, but part of me feels like I tricked this person.

I know I didn't, but still.

It's Up

I finally put up the white board I bought month ago. It's being used for writing ideas. The first two columns are novel (pun sort of intended) ideas. The rest is fan fic stuff.

Here's to hoping it helps having things to cross off that I see every time I go to the fridge.

Posted to my Fanfic Blog

Preemptive Apology

As stated by the title, this is a preemptive apology to fans and fandoms and those who may find their way here. This promises to be rambling and possibly pointless. I expect some personal things will be tossed out there that may make some uncomfortable, but nothing personal that makes me uncomfortable will be posted, maybe just written and erased.

Maybe this whole preemptive apology thing, too.

I apologize for disappointing the expectations of those who decided to follow me. My self-esteem is low enough to wonder why you would do follow, but I appreciate the follow. I've always wanted to tell stories for a living. This is the closest that I've come. Probably the closest that I'll ever come. I don't know what kind a storyteller I am. I have some idea about what kind I'd like to be, but I'm unclear on the future. I can't know what you expect except for maybe more of what I've already written and I hope I won't be, though. So, I'm sorry about not meeting any expectations that may be out there.

I apologize for all the time between one story and the next, whether they are or are not related stories. In no way am I a perfectionist, just see the errors that riddle this and anything else I've written and been willing to post. Some people can write a few hours every day and be happy tossing it out for our reading pleasure right away. I am not one of these people. I don't write stories every day. If I'm lucky I'll do something every week. And when I do write, it's in hard to stop chunks of time. My fingers pound across the keyboard trying to finish, like they're afraid that I'll forget or lose my ability or something, which I have done before. Also, I'm unable to serialize. I don't like posting something that's unfinished. Serialize is a promise to finish. A promise not always met. A promise I'm afraid to make. I don't need to live with that guilt. So, I'm sorry for waiting instead of starting and stopping and starting and stopping again.

I apologize for shipping your ship and then turning around and shipping your ship characters with others. I've never had a "one true pair" as a fan. I don't really understand the OTP mentality. Part of the reason why is because I like to write post-canon stories and I don't believe that the pairings of youth carry through as time goes on. Yes, two of the best people I've ever know began dating in high school, married in college, and now have two school age children. I know it happens, but it's the exception, not the rule. I believe that it's much easier for friendship and feelings to span childhood to senility than it is for romance. Besides, in the end the best romances become the best friendships. So, I'm sorry for not backing your ship, or any ship, 100% of the time.

I apologize for rarely creating for things that are currently being produced. I prefer not to contradict canon. I like to answer a question not answered or imagine a future that can't be undone with a single word or come up with something outlandish that doesn't interfere with what happened. Yes, ripple (or butterfly, if that's your thing) effects are cool and fun and can alter favorite stories in interesting ways, but that's not my thing. (At least for right now.) Things in production change so quickly and in such unexpected ways and I like for the stuff I make to "count," even though it doesn't "count." So, I'm sorry for often waiting for the end to begin.

I apologize for not sticking to one fandom. I did that for years in the beginning and I'm slowly re-posting the stories I wrote back then that I still like. Anyway, I'm not feeling that way anymore. It was finding this other fandom, and one drawing in particular, that gave me the bump I needed, the bump meds couldn't supply, to start writing again. Suddenly there was an itch again that wouldn't go away by ignoring it. When that itch was satisfied, another came along. And now I'm itchy to convert notes I've carried around for a while into the stories they were meant to be. These are shows that I enjoy and, ultimately, I write for two reasons: 1. practice, and 2. because I'd like these characters to be remembered. So, I'm sorry for not always writing for the fandom that encouraged you to visit but hopefully, other stories will keep you coming back.

I apologize for being a terrible part of fandom. I'm not great at cuddling and sharing and communicating. Years ago, when I first ventured from a passive member to an active member of fandom I did join in. I found a message board that was mostly devoted to my show of choice. I worked up the courage to share my thoughts along with my stories. I'd post a thought and a thread would die. No answer to my question. No acknowledgement of the joke. It simply died. I don't know if my perception was objectively right, but I got tired feeling like a conversation killer and I hardly ever commented anymore until the point I stopped commenting until the point where I stopped posting. Reason why, see the self-esteem issue mentioned at the top of this ramble, also the darkness became overwhelming. So, I'm sorry for not jumping in with gusto; I've not had good experiences trying.

I apologize for writing too much or not enough "not safe for work" content. I've marked this tumblr as adult content because occasionally I expect to write about naked bodies pressing against one another. However, I try hard not to keep my work from being smut, even though I quite enjoy smut. It's a fine line that I've just started trying to walk in my writing. Originally, this tumblr wasn't marked adult content because I think stories that include naked bodies pressing against each other are fine for teens, the fappable and non-fappable stories. Then I wrote about how panels are used in a comic and got called a lot of terrible things. It wasn't for my content, but I'd rather not deal with those people. So, I'm sorry for trying to write some NSFW stuff without making it too explicit.

I apologize for the times I'm not sensitive enough and the times I'm too sensitive. See: self-esteem issues. There's this one word that I've thrown around about myself usually after the modifier "socially" or "emotionally." Under its original meaning the word is fine, but the (recent) historical use makes that call much harder and I shy away from using it in conversation and writing to keep from alienating people over a word. Too sensitive, right? However, if I were to write a certain kind of character, say a scientist with a hard on for Szechuan sauce, then using the word could be very appropriate because the character has said the word before and there are plenty of character situations where I would write him saying it again. Not sensitive enough, right? This is one of the few places where I can't see a line to walk. You step on one side or the other, upsetting one side or the other. Where's the middle ground? Thank goodness I don't write Huck Finn fanfic because to be historically (and canonically) accurate would upset lots of people, but so would disregarding an important aspect of one of the themes that really can't be explored without. So, I'm sorry for over-thinking the meanings that individuals may or may not ascribe onto words due to popular usage.

I apologize for criticism that veers into the insulting and for the generalities. I have plans notes to write a bit about the writing quirks out there that drive me nuts. My notes aren't near me, but I think it's mostly word usage stuff that makes things unnecessarily hard to read or confuse. This isn't grammar-Nazi stuff, but phrases and choices that are grammatically correct and accepted that interrupt my flow when reading and take me out of the story. Not just in fanfic, but everywhere. The plan is to keep these things very general because I don't want to single out an individual. Just because it's writing that bothers me, doesn't mean that it's bad writing. (I also have a list of my own writing quirks that I can recognize. I plan to use those to explain myself and better understand why I constantly fall back on them.) There's also the possibility that if I write one of these, or any type of criticism, on the wrong day I could be perceived as insulting or actually be insulting. I recognize this about myself. So, I'm sorry for the generalities that I will be writing and the possible cruel things I could write about actions and individuals.

I'm a person who wakes up most morning and has to be reminded that the best reason for waking up, bathing, and going to work most days is because I get to do it all over again the next day. Without the reminder, I can't promise that I'll be able to do it again the next day. I want to find something more positive for the reasons and I think writing may be that reason. However, I don't want to get bogged down and overloaded with the petty, vitriolic minutia that fills so much of the unterblerbs and crushes the morale of some good writers and artists and critics. I'm afraid of being one of those and by getting my apologies out there now I hope I won't feel like I always have to explain myself.

Some may ask, why post the writings? To which I will reply that arts aren't complete without someone (who isn't the creator) reading/hearing/seeing/experiencing the artwork. While I can't prove that people actually do read what I've written, I can track numbers and see that someone landed here and I can tell myself that at least one person read it. (Bots may mean I'm lying to myself, but I'll live with that.) And if I believe that one person did read it, then I believe it's complete. Completing art, it seems to me, is very difficult for many artists to do. Maybe because they look at feedback instead of simple numbers. It's harder to lie to yourself when you have no comments or cuddles or whatever the site give you, isn't it?

Thinking of comments, this isn't about me looking for praise and guilting a reader into saying nice about my work. I'm not perfect and neither will my writings be. I know that. True critique is the best way to explain to me, though, not name calling. (This is one of the reasons I don't often write comments. I want to go into the hows and whys of the creation, not just the created. Also, I truly believe, deep down inside, that, the hypothetical, you are not interested in my opinion because self-esteem.) I have to assume that any praise I get isn't simply mindless or rote (again, see: self-esteem issues, it's a terrible theme!), and I have to work hard to assume that. My favorite comments, the ones I remember most clearly, are the ones that let me know that the person finished the story because that means I really succeeded. I kept interest for however long I needed to. That's success.

These are my preemptive apologies. I reserve the right to add a retroactive apologies list which has the potential to grow forever and ever until the day I die. Amen.

Sanctioned Fan-Fiction

I am usually in bed at this time. My meds usually make me yawny and that means get into bed. Tonight, though, I stay up to watch Elementary. The show is enjoyable, but not one that I have to watch see each week. This week Sherlock's older brother is back.

Mycroft Holmes is my favorite character that Conan-Doyle created. Sure, this Mycroft is different from the one in the books, but I still want to see what's done with him.

I love that fan-fiction can be loved by mass audiences and companies will spend millions of dollars on without slutting up any of the characters.

Je pense, donc je suis? Vraiment?

A while ago, I read a piece of a story (yeah, it was fan fiction and it has a lot of parts, but they feel too short to be called chapters) where a character, who has isolated herself because she's been teased a bullied for years, loses something that is important to her. After she spends the day searching for it, ditching all her classes, which makes her more depressed and anxious, she climbs several flights of stairs into a room where she knows she can be alone. She enters the room, walks over to a window, pushes the window open, steps up, and steps out. She falls, of course. She survives because she's the kind of character who isn't really allowed to accomplish what she sets out to do. (Also, she's not a main character. She's used to push the main character into a new situation and build that character more.)

That's where that part of the story ends. With her on the ground.

The story didn't bother me. In fact, I found it very honest. What bothered me was a lot of the discussion that came after it was posted.

The character was hated by nearly everyone who has been reading the story as it's been serialized. She was passive. She let things happen to her. She didn't take stands or push back. Her response was to run away and hide if she could. If she couldn't hide, she took what was thrown at her then moved on knowing it, or something similar, was going to happen to her again.

So, when she tried to kill herself, many of the people wrote comments saying good riddance. They didn't like her. They didn't want her around. They thought she took time away from the main characters.

One person tried to defend the character I've been writing about. This person wrote very passionately about people being bullied and how it destroys self-esteem and what it's like to live in constant fear.

Of course the defense was brushed aside. She would have been a better character if she'd stood up for herself. Bullies back off when confronted. She was a drag on the story. She didn't do anything to help the plot. And so on.

The defender continued to try to write about what led the character to step out the window. The defender wrote that this character just got tired of being noticed and wanted to end it and went the only way she could.

To that, one of the other people who hated the character wrote that if she hadn't wanted to be noticed that she wouldn't have tried to kill herself in such a spectacular and public way and that if she hadn't wanted to be noticed, she should have stood up for herself so she'd be left alone.

The defender quit trying to defend here. There was no point in the defender continuing on. The others didn't want to understand. So the conversation stopped online, but not in my head.

(For the record, I am not the one who was defending the character. All of this was written between the time I moved from North Bay to Cowtown and I started getting online regularly. It took a long time for me to catch up on the reading that I wanted to do. I can't say I would have gotten involved. I'm not so good at being part of a "community," even if it is a virtual one.)

What bothered me was the person saying that she tried to kill herself in a spectacular and public way and the implication that there's a way for a person to kill him/herself that wouldn't be spectacular or public.

In this world where (nearly) everyone believes that their life is precious, one taking his/her own life will always seem spectacular, once it's discovered. People are always shocked, whether it's someone quietly hanging him/herself in the garage or if he/she puts a pistol to his/her head in a crowded mall and pulls a trigger. One is reacted to more strongly than the other, but it all comes down to the average person asking why a person would kill him/herself. Because they can't fathom that someone wouldn't want to live. And once the death is discovered, even the quiet, private one, it becomes spectacular and public.

So, how do you explain to the average person that someone may not value his/her life like most people do? Can the average person understand the feelings of self-hatred, or worthlessness, or simple exhaustion others may have? Or will it just bounce off them because they simply believe that humans are simply animals and the first thing all animals try to do is survive?

Are humans simply animals? Do we simply want to survive as a species, if not as an individual? Are those who don't want to survive then wrong? Is it part of "je pense, donc je suis"?

Odds

You know, with all the obsession about vampires out there, has anyone figured out how they defecate? Do they pee? Do they poo? Are they like birds and both kinds of waste at once?

No system is perfectly closed, so there has to be some kind of waste and they're going to have to get rid of it some how. I don't care if vampires have a piece of a demon soul in them, they still have to get rid of the unusable parts.

---

I've really like the weather in Northern California the past couple of months. We've gotten a storm every 6-10 days with days in between that are sunny or have patchy clouds. It's been nice to have a real variety in weather. I hope it stays this way the rest of the year.

If this is how climate change is going to effect my life, I'm all for it.

---

I know the stuff is just fan fiction, but is it wrong to get upset inside when I read a story where the author doesn't seem to know the word "than" exists (he only ever writes "then" to mean both "then" and "than") and then read a review praising the author's writing ability as the one of the best out there and even complimenting the grammar as being "spot on"?

Seriously, I don't understand. People out there will pick on writers mixing up "its" with "it's" or "there" with "their" and "they're" or "to" with "two" and "too," but do they not even see the "then"s replacing the "than"s? Maybe they just don't care, but if that's true, why do they pick on other grammatical errors?

I suppose, on the plus side, the author constantly makes this mistake. Consistency is a good thing, right?

---

For $5 movie Tuesday I went and saw Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

I had to go see it. I like the books: they make me laugh. I liked the movie: it made me laugh.

The director and writers (two of whom were Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah, which surprised me and made me happy) keep the potty jokes to a minimum and the big one, that I remember, was both well earned and hilarious. (Not that I'm against potty jokes. (Hell I opened this post with a potty joke.) It's that I hate that so many writers and directors out there think it's the only sort of humor that kids like and/or get. Kids ain't that dumb.) The "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" scene was worth the admission price alone, well for me and the mom that brought her son to see it, at least. Also, they animate the art from the book and it's gorgeous.

I just went and checked out the Wikipedia page for the movie and saw the section on the reviews. Rotten Tomatoes says, "Unlike its bestselling source material, Diary of a Wimpy Kid fails to place a likable protagonist at the center of its middle-school humor – and its underlying message is drowned out as a result." Funny thing is, Greg's a jerk in the books, too, it's part of the charm. I found him to be just as likable in the movie as he is in the book. Maybe seeing a real little kid doing the things a cartoon little kid did, not that he does anything horrible.

Bah, I don't need to defend the movie and I don't have to explain myself, but I enjoyed it.

---

The CDs I bought with the Amazon gift certificates(? Letters? Emails? They're not cards, so what are they exactly?) I got for my birthday got here yesterday. The one I'm most excited about is the cast recording of "Sunday in the Park with George."

Listened to it twice last night.

If only... Right?

What's It Called When You Feel Proud and a Little Ashamed?

So, I wasn't ever planning on ever talking about this here, but, uh, well, I've been nominated for a 2009 Daria Fanworks Award. I only wrote one (complete) story and it was nominated in five categories. Wow.

So, if you want to read it, go here.

I think I'll be jittery all day long.

Why does he go on so about GODDAMNED fan fiction!? But this one is short.

One of the things that's fun(nish) about writing fan fiction is that you don't have to really try to describe who the characters are.

I mean if I write the words "Deanna Troi" at the very beginning of a story everyone who chooses to read it will know who Deanna Troi is, what she is, and how she grew up. No explanation necessary. I do, however have to explain why she and Beverly Crusher are kissing and fumbling at each others gi belts after one of Worf's mok'bara classes, but I don't have to tell her life story.

My First Foray Into Fandom

In the world of Daria Fandom Fanfition they have challenges for writing called Iron Chefs.

The topic came over from another discuss, but was turned into an Iron Chef and goes liked this:

Mack visits Jodie at the soup kitchen, Jodie is angry instead of disappointed, upset that Mack gets to take the last few weeks off while she works the most grueling weeks of her schedule. Mack's reasons for quitting, including paying his father off, fall on deaf ears, and he never gets the chance to invite her to Chez Pierre. She breaks it off, and Mack is kicked to the Curb. By the time school starts, everyone knows that Mack is available.

Let the games begin.

My first thought was more along this line, but without the clever ending.

I wanted to one-up the insanity level in my ficlit:

Michael practically stumbled into Mr. O'Neill's empty classroom. Lunch wouldn't be over for another fifteen minutes, but he couldn't take it anymore. All those girls trying to throw themselves at him, it was flattering, but also disgusting and exhausting.

He dropped into his usual desk and put his head down. He tried not to think about it, about anything.

He heard the door open and sighed. Who tracked him down here? Who, besides himself, would voluntarily come into a classroom during lunch? Of course, if the stall in the bathroom wasn't a safe place, why should this be any different?

"Mack," said Mr. O'Neill, "what are you doing here?"

Michael looked up and said, "Nothing. Just relaxing before class."

"So you'll be in here until class starts?"

"If it's okay with you?"

"Of course," said Mr. O'Neill, smiling. "I'll be right back."

Michael thought he heard an "Oh, boy!" come from his teacher as he hurried out the door. It must have been his imagination, though.

He put his head back on the desk.

A minute or so later, the door opened and closed again. The dead bolt snapped into place.

He jerked his head up and saw Ms. Barch leaning on Mr. O'Neill's desk, pulling her blouse out of her skirt. "Skinny," she said, slapping her hand on the desk, "let's get this party started."

"Oh, my," said Mr. O'Neill.

Another God damned post about fan ficiton!?

Yeah, but this one's about me, too.

To say that I've been reading a lot of fan fiction recently is like saying that people breathe. I've been through lots of bad stuff and found a few pretty good things, but I've read way more than some may want to believe.

As I read a question crept into my mind: Why haven't I been writing fan fiction? I've been reading it off and on since 1997, why haven't I created my own? I sit and think "what if?" about nearly everything I enjoy. I wonder about the life of characters after then end or at an age that the original never went to and I think up arcs and stories, why haven't I ever put them down in writing?

(Okay, so technically, I have. There's that Voyager thing I did and a short Sliders story (Both of which need some massive editing. Like and embarrassing amount of editing.), but I haven't done any regular fan fiction writing, ever.)

In the beginning I think it was because I saw fan fiction as a fun diversion. I was in school and busy with my school work and what not. It was there for me to read and enjoy, but it wasn't something that I wanted to create myself.

When school ended I kept reading, but I had delusions of being a "real" writer. Of writing short stories and novels and having them published on paper that people paid money for. Of hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people enjoying a tale spun from my thoughts. I didn't write anything much beyond a paragraph, though. Eventually, I knew I wouldn't do anything more than that and did my best to stop thinking.

Still the hope was there and I started that Fiction Friday experiment. I think there's some strong stuff in there. Good ideas and plenty of okay writing. (Also, poor editing, but that's only because I'd post 'em right after I wrote 'em. So, really, that's a different problem. Procrastination.) If wishes were ponies, I'd still be posting those on a regular basis an have more than two years worth of short stories on here.

The main problem was that I just didn't write. There were, and are, plenty of ideas in my head, but I didn't, and don't, write. I can't say why, but I don't. I guess that just not enough of me wants to.

Ce qui a été, est.

Which, pretty much, brings us up to this latest run in with fan fiction and me still not writing it.

Why not?

1. It's hard to suppress the belief that fan fiction isn't real writing.
2. You don't make money from it.
3. Only a niche group is going to read it.
4. I want to play in the sandbox, but play with my own toys more than the creator's toys.
5. Fandom is insanity, even if there are a bunch of decent people.
6. Copyright infringement.
7. I'd have to join a community.
8. I'm better than fan fiction.

It's the last one that really pisses me off, but I'm going to go down that list one at a time:
1. I know this one isn't true, a lot of the stuff is crap, but I've read some stuff by people who can really write. They know how to craft a sentence to support a paragraph to build a story. I even found one today that had writing in the good-to-great range.

It is real writing. There are creative plots and intriguing ideas. The writers may not create the character and too many don't know how to keep the characters in character, but they're still putting one word next to another (except for the ones written in 1337 or txtese) to create an (hopefully) original story.

2. Well, that's true, but really how often to "real" writers make money from their first several short stories. Pretty damn rare for a new writer to get published in The New Yorker.

Plus, if money was made off of fan fiction (aside from the company approved stuff) we'd see the publishers and movie/TV studios and authors come swooping in with their lawyer to crush the folks who write the stuff.

3. Also true, but at least you know that they're there because they like the characters, right?

4. What I mean by this is that I'm far more interested in putting in new characters to explore the universe without ever necessarily going near the original characters.

To better explain, hopefully: How are young wizards, in the Harry Potter-verse, in the USA trained? There are some boarding schools in the USA, but there's very few and very far between. Even the ones that do exist don't really do the whole different-houses-that-compete thing. Would there be one or two or three big schools for wizarding children for the USA or maybe all of North America that all the magical children go to? Or would it be more like a local after school program for those certain special individuals? And how did Voldemort causing trouble in England effect the wizards in the US and Canada?

That's something that I'd be more interested in exploring than what happened to Ron after he ditched Harry and Hermione in Deathly Hallows and then coming back to them or Peter Pettigrew's adventures with the Weasley family or redeeming Draco Malfoy. But is it really a Harry Potter fan fiction if it never mentions Harry Potter?

5. Whatever you write, even if people like it, you won't ever get any constructive criticism, which I think is important for any writer.

Also, once you start writing under any fandom they, or a vocal number of them, think they own the characters and therefore should be able to tell you exactly what you should have done while they call what you, probably, worked hard on a horrible piece of shit.

Oh, sure, fuck 'em, right? It's not that simple, though. As seen by 3, those are the only people who are going to be reading what you wrote. Fan fiction does not expand beyond the small part of the fanbase that reads and writes it.

6. Always a concern. Some of the original creators support fan fiction, some ignore it (or pretend to ignore it), some ask for it to be removed when they find out it's been done. Lots of the properties aren't owned by the original creators, or at least not totally, and who can tell when Viacom or Universal or Warner Bros. or Disney will have their attorneys send out cease and desist letters to the massive fan fiction websites.

7. Once you write it and put it on a fan fiction site, your part of that community. Whether it's a site that's about all fan fiction or a site dedicated to one certain character/show/book/whatever your part of a community and there are certain expectations that I'm uncomfortable with, like conversations with people. Even knowing it's via message board it makes my stomach flop.

8. I'm not. I know I'm not.

To be better than fan fiction I'd at least have to be writing something. I'm not though.

To actually be better than fan fiction I'd have to be published or filmed and have people writing fan fiction based on my stuff.

And it really bugs me that floating around in my brain is that damn thought because at least those guys and girls are writing something creative. I'm not even doing that. I'm just sitting and thinking about ideas. Nothing goes down on paper or takes up bits on the hard drive, nothing. Still, the thought is there.

I feel like I should be wrapping this up, but I don't know how. Will I continue to not write fan fiction? Will I start writing fan fiction? Will I quit the fan fiction thing altogether? I really can't say.

I have ideas. Like the one mentioned above. Hell, I even have ideas for a couple of series of stories for several different fandoms, for lack of a better word. As I wrote earlier, I just don't write. (And, yes, I realize the irony in that sentence.) I don't. I think I should, but... you know.

I'm probably the only one who cares, but...

There's a Daria fan fiction series called "John Lane". Basically it's a Daria/Jane 'shipping story that decided to dodge the lesbian issue by re-imagining Jane as a guy, who has a much rougher life, and then rewriting most episodes with the new status quo.

Anyway, in the one I'm reading now, based around "Write Where it Hurts," Helen and Jake are concerned about the potential of Daria and John having sex and decide to talk to the two. Helen tells Daria that it's time for The Pill and Jake talks to John. Helen gets concerned that Jake... uh... instability may hurt the talk and goes in to... mediate, which leads to this:

Helen knocked on the door and opened it.

John and Jake's laughter followed the faint "thwap" of something hitting Helen's forehead. John said, "You're right. They do stretch."

Sometimes it's really hard to laugh silently here at work.

More of That Fan Fiction Stuff

For the last few weeks, my fan fiction kick has been the Daria stuff. (I'm not brave/stupid enough to log onto the adult fan fiction sites at work, so it's all safe, and so far nothing is too risqué, since I know y'all are so sensitive about that sort of thing.) (PENIS! VAGINA! VULGAR TERMS FOR BODY PARTS!)

So far, the thing that's surprised me most is how the Trent 'shippers treat their love for putting Daria and Trent together. They seem unwilling to make it simple. There's been a surprising number that don't hook them up until she's out of college and not all of them work out in a "happily ever after" way. Most of the ones who do put them together while she's in school make it fairly clear that it won't be like that forever, that eventually they'll grow apart.

It's like these people actually paid attention to the show and the characters!

Of course, then you occasionally get bits like this:

She thought about it. "Yes. Sleep is good." She stretched, and suddenly remembered that she was naked under her robe, she looked down and realized that she had just flashed Trent. He looked completely discommoded, she didn't really care, she had pretty breasts.

I never thought of Daria as one who really thought about whether or not her breasts were pretty. (Click for the story.) Still, a little of this isn't a horrible thing.

One thing, though, that sort of bothers me is how some of the 'shippers try to make Trent better, or flesh him out. (This author does it a lot.) I never thought Trent was dumb, but I still don't think he's a deep thinker. He's just a guy who wants to do what he enjoys.

Some more at 9:40 AM the next day:
Okay, here's an example of what I was writing about above, but didn't finish because I was eager to leave work. The author above wrote a story from Trent's point of view for the episode "Jane's Addition." For those who don't remember, or know, "Jane's Addition" is the episode where Daria pretty much gets over her crush on Trent. (A much more thorough summary. Transcript.) He's just too --I want to say lazy, but I don't think the guy's lazy, just not overly motivated?-- relaxed (still not the right word, but it's the best I can come up with) for Daria. She makes sure she keeps any commitments she makes. Trent isn't so worried about that.

Anyway, in "Jane's Addition" the crush ends because Daria really gets to know who Trent is. (And the end was coming, as they showed in the episode "Lane Miserables.") They'll stay friends, but that's it.

In the story mentioned above, "Trent's Equation," the author makes it clear that Trent disappointed Daria and ended her crush on him on purpose. Trent thought that the crush was having a bad effect on Daria and decided that it was better for her to be heartbroken for a while than to be entangled with him. The author, in a note at the end of the story, writes, "I believe Trent is actually a more mature character than we actually see on the show, I think his method of expressing his feelings will come across subtlety and peripherally, since he is at an age where he is much more cognizant of relationship consequences than Jane or Daria." But the author also saw Trent developing a crush on Daria when he told her that it's "[t]oo bad [she's] not a few years older [because he] could take [her] out" at the end of "Lane Miserables." Reading it that way changes a lot.

Continually Surprised

Logically, I know that there's fan fiction (general, slash, dark, het, 'shipping, whatever) for everything.

I mean, I once read a fan fiction that was a cross-over between Dragon Ball Z and Anne Frank. Yeah, the Jewish girl who hid in an attic with her family as well as others.

Still, never thought I'd find The Dark is Rising slash.

I do find it interesting that the authors tend to make Bran the more... aggressive one (in the way that he's the one who does the pursuing and seduction and such) and not Will. The other way around makes more sense to me, but what do I know? I never before imagined the two of them interested in anyone in a sexual way.

Fiction Friday #11

Wade's World

We've been on this Earth for eighteen weeks now.

It's the longest we've been on one Earth since we started sliding.

It's almost like being home again. There's no plague killing massive numbers of people, no asteroid plunging toward the planet, no giant killer bee/spider things, and no Kromaggs. The world is peaceful enough. No one's chasing us. No one's aiming or firing any guns at us. No trouble of any kind, other than the usual political problems, but those don't effect me or the others.

The biggest difference I've noticed about this San Francisco is that there isn't a Golden Gate Bridge. It seems that when it was first being built, there was an earthquake that destroyed the early work. The state's tried to build a bridge there three more times since then and each time there was another quake. People here think the Gate's cursed. That makes everything more cramped in the city. Back home there were neighborhoods in the city with yards that circled the entire house. There aren't any homes like that here. Each building is built so close to the one next to it that they may as well be connected.

When we first got here, it was exciting. Finally we'd be able to live normal lives. We could get jobs. We could borrow books from the library and take our time reading them. We could take our time living because there was nothing to run from, nothing to frighten us.

Rembrandt found a gig singing at a nostalgia bar out in North Beach. Six nights a week he's on stage. Some times solo, sometimes with a three other guys, always singing the hits of Motown. He says he can't stand singing all those songs, but can't sing anything that he got famous for, if you believe one top fifty song while you're part of a singing group makes you famous; I think he really misses that world where he was the king of rock and role. I know he loves this job, though. He was born to sing and he'll do it on any world, especially the ones that haven't heard of The Crying Man because it gives him a chance to find fame again.

The Professor hasn't had the same sort of luck as Rembrandt has had. He thinks he should be able to walk up to any university, shout out his credential, and be handed tenure. So far, it hasn't worked out. He's been fired from two bookstores, a Wallgreens, the zoo, and a hot dog cart. (To be fair, he was fired from the last one for eating the profits.) He comes back to the hotel each night complaining about the idiots in this world, but I think he enjoys the complaining and if he couldn't complain he'd be frustrated and angry at us instead of the nameless multitudes.

Quinn got hired at a little fixit shop out in the Sunset. It's stuffy and dirty, but he has all sorts of things that he use so he can tinker with the timer. Early on, he spent a lot of time searching for his double here hoping that there'd be a complete sliding machine he could use to get us home. When his visited his address, he didn't found his house or his mom, but more squeezed buildings. Eventually, he tracked his double to an apartment in Berkeley. Apparently, this world's Quinn moved into an apartment with Conrad Bennish where they became so stoned they were eventually dropped out. The Quinn of this world could talk about alternate dimensions, but only in the way that burned people can, in that pseudo philosophical verbal babbling.

To say Quinn was disappoint would be like saying it's a long walk to Mars. He tries to hide it from us, his guilt. He smiles and he jokes, but whenever someone talks about home, his eyes tighten. He blames himself for our... predicament and he thinks he's the only one who can solve it. I wish he'd talk to me about it. I'm afraid that one day he'll break and we won't be able to put him back together.

Me? I found a job working as a techie for small architecture firm. They're just starting to move from all paper to a CAD system. Mostly, my job consisted of opening boxes, putting computers on desks, and installing the programs. My supervisor promised me that things would get more interesting once they got their network online--probably in the next six months--but for now, this was all I was going to do. I wasn't happy, though.

We've been to so many worlds where we didn't have time to meet people and make friends. We leave when we start to get to know people. The few, that we've brought through with us, leave at the next world. I wasn't sure I could stay at a job for several weeks, get to know, and like, the people I work with, and then leave, again.

Rembrandt saw how sad I was getting and understood. He told me to quit. He bought me charcoal and paint and brushes and paper and told me to capture moments in the city.

And that's what I've been doing for the last twelve weeks. I pick a spot in the city each day and draw or paint what I see. And I'm always sure to put in a person, or an animal--something that's in motion because that moving thing takes a still picture and turns it into the story. The ferry crossing from Marin, a woman chasing after the bus, or the sad buffalos in the park all tell a story about the city.

Tomorrow, we slide. I have to leave everything I've done here. It's okay, though. I feel like I'm leaving stories of this world behind. I just hope that the person who finds them takes a look before they throw them away. I'd like to think that they want some more tales about the city.

Fiction Friday #1

Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned that I was was saving all of Queenie's "Punks" stories? (And now I've gone and seen that she's labeled things and one of the labels is Punks, therefore making the work that I did unnecessary now, but still it was fun when I did it. And she's cleared up that some of the other stories with a Tommy are also "Punks" even though Minnie isn't in them.) Well, today is the day you all learn why.

I'm going to try and post some sort of fiction each Friday. Here at Blogger, I'll post them Thursday just before I leave work, but the date will always read Friday at 12:01 AM because I'm hoping that one of these day's Blogger will let me do the future post thing so I can get everything set up whenever I want and then it'll automatically post first thing Friday morning. Get it?

I used to want to be a writer of fiction. I used to think that one day I would get paid for writing about things that never happened. I used to dream that people would get lost in my worlds. I'd like to be that way again and I figure setting myself a goal to put a little bit of fiction down each week is a good way to start.

I don't promise that I'll finish things that get started. Sometimes, I'll be borrowing other people's worlds (they'll all be labeled "fan fic", though). And I can't promise that anything'll be good. But I'm gonna try.

Anyway, today's bit of fiction is me entering into Queenie's realm. I don't know if I've made it clear here (and sometimes I'm not sure if I've made it clear over at Queenie's) that I really like the "Punks" stories. Things happen that scare me, but I really can't get enough of them. There's something about Minnie and Tommy and their relationship that just gets me. The stories are spectacular (although, everything Queenie writes over there is great) and I highly recommend you read them, but, hopefully, it won't be necessary.

And before we get started with the actual fiction for today, this was where this story ended. I got to the point where it stops and something told me that Queenie wouldn't go any farther and neither should I. Only she knows if that's true. At some point down the road, I want to write another with more about this character; I'm just not sure when it'll be.

Here goes:

Punks-A Nobody

Minnie was 14. She liked wearing bright red lipstick and getting high. And Alan loved her. He knew he loved her like no one else could.
But Minnie didn't know that. Alan figured she didn't even know who he was.

Alan was one of the kid in school who showed up every day. He went to every class he had.
Minnie didn't. Some days she'd be there; some days she wouldn't.
Alan couldn't figure out why, but he was sure she had her reasons.
Maybe it was the grass she smoked. Maybe she just hated the place too much.
He'd never know.

On the days that Minnie went to school all day, Alan only had two times to really see her.
The first place was in home room, but that was only for ten minutes in the morning. Not enough time for anything.
The second was after lunch, in math. When Minnie showed up, her lips just as bright as they were in the morning, she sat in the back right corner, near the windows. Alan sat on the left.
When she showed up, he watched her.
He watched her lean forward and put her face in her hand.
He watched her blow her hair out of her eyes.
He watched her lean back in her chair and look at the light above her.
He watched her stare out the window.
He watched her and tried to imagine all the things she was thinking.
And when he couldn't imagine that anymore, he imagined all the things he'd like to do with her.

Minnie was in home room that morning, but that didn't guarantee that she'd be there after lunch, but Alan didn't mind because he'd heard something at lunch.
At lunch, Alan went down the stairs near the basement door. There was a janitor's closet there that he could jimmy open.
No one bothered him there. No one else ever came down the stairs. Except for today.

A couple came down. A guy and a girl.
He pushed her against the basement door and leaned down into her neck and started kissing.
Alan saw this because When he pulled the door closed he always left a crack so he could get just enough light to eat by. He scooted back into the shadow so he wouldn't be seen, but he could still hear.
"Did you hear about that bitch?" asked the girl.
"Uhhhhn," said the guy.
"That skank, Minnie, the one who wears the lipstick that makes her look like a whore."
"Uhhhhn."
"I heard she's fucking that guy she's always with."
"Uhhhhn."
"I can't believe I was ever friends with that little slut."
"Uhhhhn."
Then all he heard were the smacking sounds of their kissing.

He knew who the guy was that Minnie was always with. It was Tommy.
The first time Alan saw Tommy take Minnie's hand in the hallway, he wished he were Tommy.
And now he knew they were fucking.
And in his mind they kissing.
And his hand slid down his stomach and into his pants.
And he saw Minnie, naked, with Tommy, naked, kissing her tits.
And Alan undid his pants with his other hand.
And Tommy was kissing Minnie on the mouth and Minnie was stroking Tommy with her hand.
And Alan was pumping.
And Minnie was pushing herself into Tommy as Tommy pushed into her, trying to make him go deeper.
And Alan's breathing started to get faster.
And Minnie opened her mouth and took in several short, quick breaths before gasping and sighing.
And Alan felt himself release, his breathing getting more even.
And he hoped he didn't get anything on his bag.

A Test In Patience

Yes, a test for me and you. Part of the test is the horrible long scroll (which I tried my best to get rid of) that exists on the page. I don't know how to get rid of it. The rest of my test is done. I translated this thing from a WordPerfect document into html, by actually typing the code because everything else kept fucking up, for the past hour or two (it was a nice way to practice wasting time). After the scrolling, the rest of your test is to actually read this and give some sort of feedback. No feedback (via the comments or e-mail), no pass test. "What is it?" those of you who haven't run yet may be asking. It's the teaser and first two acts of an episode of Star Trek: Voyager I wrote during the show's final season. I found it while going through old things I've written. I thought that I had finished it (I've probably been lying to myself for several years about finishing it), but only found this much done. I did a bit of editing to make it all, I hope, better than it was before. What I planned for the rest of the episode follows as well as a little rant about the end of Voyager. Good luck. Oh, and all characters and Voyager and Star Trek and whatnot are copyright and trademarked to Paramount Pictures, so I don't get sued and have them take away my DVDs and computer and such after they win.
One Giant Leap For... By Josh Fitzwater TEASER: FADE IN: EXT. SPACE Voyager is stopped in space. Nothing special can be seen, only stars and the Milky Way.
	NELIX (V/O)Nelix’s log, stardate... uh... stardate... um. Well, I’m not quite sure. With all of the excitement of the last few weeks I guess I’ve lost track of the date.
INT. VOYAGER CORRIDOR Nelix is walking through corridors, smiling widely, the member of the crew he passes are smiling as well. As he passes he pats shoulders, shakes hands, shares unheard happy thoughts. When his voice over ends he enters the turbolift.
	NELIX (V/O)About three weeks ago it was announced to the crew that we were approaching the boarder of the Beta Quadrant. The first “landmark” that the crew has had in the past six years. Well, the first one that they recognize, at least. And today, is the day we cross it.
INT. BRIDGE All stations are full. The viewscreen show the open space in front of them. On the bridge are Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Harry, and Tom in their standard positions, the rest of the stations are filled with extras. Nelix enters from the turbolift.
	JANEWAYWell, Mr. Nelix, is everything ready? NELIXYes, Captain, just give the word. JANEWAYJaneway to transporter rooms one and two. On my command begin transport. TWO ANONYMOUS VOICES (COM VOICE) Aye, aye.
During the following speech cut to key parts of the ship—mess hall, main engineering, sickbay, etc.—to show the reactions of crew in those places, be sure to show faces of the cast. Doctor is in sickbay, Torres in engineering. Seven is in astrometrics. Focus back on Janeway when the Romulans are mentioned.
	JANEWAYJaneway to the crew of Voyager. My friends... my... family. Today we take a meaningful step toward home. It’s not out largest step. It’s not our fastest step. But, perhaps, it’s our most important step. Three thousand kilometers in front of us is what the Federation stellar cartography science committee has declared the official boarder between the Delta Quadrant and the Beta Quadrant. We are closer than ever to territory that has been mapped. (Beat) Closer than ever to our homes. After we cross this boarder, things aren’t likely to get any easier. We still have plenty of space to cover. More unknown races to meet. More worlds to explore. And we must remember that the Romulan Empire is between the Federation and us; which means we may be meeting some of their long range and science vessels. But, I hope, that’s years away. (Beat) Mr. Paris, take us ahead, full impulse. When we cross the boarder, warp six. TOMAye. Course laid in. JANEWAYEngage.
EXT. SPACE Voyager moves forward. After a few beats it jumps to warp. INT. BRIDGE
	JANEWAYWe still have a long way to go, but I know we’ll make it. (Beat, on a bittersweet look on her face.) Transporter rooms, energize.
Cut around to the same rooms as before, platters of “party food” and drinks beam in, ending with the beam in on the bridge.
	JANEWAYFor now, however, enjoy yourselves. You’ve earned it.
FADE TO: OPENING CREDITS ACT ONE: FADE IN: INT. MESS HALL It’s late, few people in the mess hall and they keep leaving during the scene. Nelix is cleaning up behind his counter. He looks up and grins. As the voice over ends he walks over to Tom and Harry, who are sitting at a table.
	NELIX (V/O)Nelix’s log stardate 54103.8. It’s been three days since we crossed over into the Beta Quadrant, and I’ve never seen the crew this happy. If they keep it up for much longer, there won’t be any need for a moral officer anymore. NELIX(Claps both of them each on a shoulder.) Anything else for you two this evening? HARRYThanks, no. I was just about to leave for my nightly duty. NELIX(Pulls up a chair and sitting.) (To Tom) Nightly duty? TOMThe bridge. He’s in charge of the night shift, remember? NELIXReally? I thought he gave that up years ago.
Harry's embarrased, but Tom and Nelix ignore him.
	TOMHarry, give it up? Never. He’s still pushing for the captain’s chair before he’s thirty; his own captain’s chair that is. NELIXAnd don’t forget the lovely Ensign Jenkins. HARRYYou can remember that Jenkins is the pilot on the night shift, but you can’t remember about me, huh? Your doing wonders for my morale here, Nelix. NELIXI only know that Jenkins works nights because she always reminds me that she doesn’t want coffee in the morning, it wouldn’t let her sleep. TOMAnd we must remember she is lovely. (To Harry) Which reminds me, why haven’t you done anything about her? HARRYWhat do you mean, “done anything about her”? TOMDon’t play coy with me, Harry.
Harry has an oblivious look on his face.
	NELIX(Nudging Tom) I don’t think he’s playing, Tom. Look at him. He doesn’t know. HARRY I don’t know what? TOMIt’s the Delanys all over again. HARRY(To Tom. Quick, defensive) What does that mean? NELIX (To Tom, slower than Harry) What does that mean? TOM(To Nelix) He fell in love with the wrong sister. HARRYHey! NELIX(Still to Tom) No. TOM(Still to Nelix) He really did. Jenny (Megan?) gave him plenty of opportunities, too. You should have seen the way she looked at him during our Captain Proton adventures. You could see that she was practically begging him to ask her out after each one. But wonder boy here never got the hint; he kept pining after Megan (Jenny?), and now Jenny’s (Megan’s?) dating... what’s-his-name? NELIX(To Tom) I’m not sure. (To Harry) You’re not going to let the same thing happen to poor Jenkins, are you? HARRYLet what happen to poor Jenkins? NELIXYou’re not going to let her get away. HARRYWhat do you mean? She doesn’t like me. TOMOh, please. Hasn’t she been the night pilot since we first got here, almost seven years ago? NELIXAre there any other crew members who have stuck with the night duty for seven years, besides you? TOMDon’t her days off just happen to coincide with the nights your not playing captain? NELIXAren’t you ever going to get around to asking her out?
Harry sputters for an answer, Tom and Nelix are on the verge of laughter, when Tuvok walks in, carrying a Padd, and heads over to Nelix.
	TUVOKExcuse me gentlemen. (To Nelix) Is the galley closed, or are you just whiling away your many hours? NELIXFor you, commander, the galley is always open. HARRY(Relief on his face) Tuvok, you’re a lifesaver.
Harry hightails it out of the mess hall. Tom bursts into laughter.
	TUVOKWhat was that about? TOMJust discussing Harry’s love life. NELIXYou know, doing some matchmaking. (Walking over to the counter) Speaking of matchmaking, commander, we’ve been on this ship almost seven years now, should we be trying to find a match for you? TUVOKI don’t know what your talking about. NELIXI think you do, but you’re too embarrassed to talk about it. Don’t worry your Vulcan head though, I’ll find you a nice girl. TUVOKI assure you, Mr. Nelix, that if I needed to find a “match,” as you put it, I am very capable of finding my own. NELIXI’m sure you are, Mr. Vulcan.
Nelix rummages around, getting a tray ready. Tuvok reviews the Padd.
	NELIXWhatcha reading there? TUVOKI am reviewing the results of the last Starfleet security protocol test I gave to young Icheb. NELIXWell now, how did he do? TUVOKRemarkable, so far. TOM (From his seat) Not surprising, considering the hardware in his head. TUVOK(Not looking up from his Padd.) Not necessarily, Mr. Paris, it could be a natural ability of his race. TOM(Moving toward the counter) Tuvok, we met his people. I don’t think that it’s a natural ability. TUVOK(Still not looking up from his Padd.) The people we met were living on the frontier, they have had no time to develop their intellect as Icheb has. I doubt they are representative of their race. TOMI suppose your right, Tuvok. (To Nelix, who is still preparing Tuvok’s tray.) Anyway, this talk of Icheb reminded me, Nelix, I have a great idea to teach him all about starships. NELIX(Putting the finishing touches on the tray.) And what’s your “great” idea? TOMMy idea is, now get this, that he and I repair and upgrade your little ship. NELIXRepair... and upgrade... my ship? TOMYeah! Isn’t it a great idea? NELIX(Giving the finished tray to Tuvok.) Here you go, commander, enjoy your meal. TUVOKThank you.
Tuvok takes the tray and sits down. Nelix starts cleaning up behind the counter.
	TOMWell? What do you think? NELIXI don’t know. What kinds of “upgrades” were you thinking of? TOMNothing wild. Upgrade your computer. A new sensor system. Increase your engine efficiency. Add a weapons system that could actually do something if push came to shove. You know, make it a bit more... uh... modern. NELIXYou mean more like the Delta Flyer? TOMNot exactly. We’d be using a lot of the same technology. You know, a bit from the Federation here, a bit from the Borg there, and anything else that might be useful. NELIXSounds like a great idea. When do we get started? TOMWe? Uh... I was hoping it would be me and Icheb. I mean, I know how busy you are, and I don’t want to take you away from your duties and all that. NELIXOh, I get it. You’re afraid that I won’t let you do everything you want to do to my ship, right?
Tom nods sheepishly.
	NELIXI’ll stay out of it if you allow someone else help in place of me. TOMAnd who would that be? NELIXNaomi Wildman. TOMNaomi Wildman? What for? She’s just a kid. NELIXA kid that wants to join Starfleet as soon as she’s old enough. I think this would be a big help. Besides, it’s the only way I’ll let you tinker on my ship. TOMOkay, okay. Naomi can join us, but I’m not going to get permission from her mother or the captain, you’re going to have to do that. NELIXDon’t worry about Samantha, she’ll allow it. And I think I know just how to take care of the captain. Do I need to get permission for Icheb too? TOMNo. The captain has already said that anything that’ll prepare him for Starfleet is okay by her. NELIXGood. Computer, where is Captain Janeway? COMPUTERCaptain Janeway is in her quarters. NELIXGood. Computer, is she sleeping? COMPUTERHer vital signs indicate that she is awake. NELIXGood, good. Tom, I’ll meet you at the shuttle bay with Naomi at say— TOMI’ll contact you. NELIXAlright then, have a good evening. And say hello to the lovely wife fore me.
Nelix tosses takes his apron off, tosses it behind the counter and exits. INT. CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS Captain Janeway is reading a book, in her room when the door chimes. It startles her. She chooses to ignore it, hoping the person will just go away. The door chimes twice more before:
	NELIX (COM VOICE)Nelix to Captain Janeway, I know your awake, the computer told me so. Please let me in.
Janeway goes to the door and taps the panel, the door opens, Nelix is standing there looking excited.
	NELIXOh, pardon me. Is this a bad time? JANEWAY(A bit flustered at the question.) No, Mr. Nelix, this isn’t. Why don’t you come in and tell me whatever you needed to say to me. NELIXThank you. (Enters) Well, captain, have you heard of Tom’s idea to, uh, upgrade my ship? JANEWAYI believe I overheard him mentioning it to Seven on the bridge this morning. (She sits and motions for Nelix to sit as well) What about it? NELIX(Sitting) Well, he wants to do this as a way to teach Icheb the ins and outs of how a starship is built and maintained, first hand. Which I think is a wonderful idea. JANEWAYSo do I. Now, what’s your problem? NELIXIt’s not a problem, so much, as a request. JANEWAYAnd that would be? NELIXI’d like it if you’d assign Naomi Wildman to help Tom and Icheb. JANEWAYNaomi Wildman? NELIXYes, Naomi. I think this is an ideal project for her and if you assigned–- JANEWAYBut Naomi’s just a child. She’s not even six years old. NELIXWhat does that matter? She’s the captain’s girl, isn’t she? JANEWAYYes, she is, but that’s more on a honorary position. She doesn’t really do anything. NELIXAll the more reason for you to assign her to this project. It’ll make her feel more useful. All she does is her homework and play with Flauter, since the other children left. She needs something to occupy her time. This way she’ll learn something, and get to make weekly reports to the captain on it’s progress. Now she’ll really get to be the captain’s girl. JANEWAYI see your point, Nelix. I’ll give her the assignment tomorrow morning, and tell her to report to Tom for the times they will be working. NELIXAnd you’ll read her weekly reports? JANEWAYAnd I’ll read her weekly reports. (Beat) Now, I’m assuming that you’ve already gotten her mother’s approval of this. NELIXUm. . . not quite yet. (Beat) You see, it’s late, and I didn’t want to disturb Samantha after she’s had a long day. (He notices the look Janeway is giving him.) I also thought it best to get you to agree to this first, that way I could throw your name around a bit, get her to agree faster. JANEWAYVery wise, Nelix. Was there anything else? NELIXNothing, unless you have something you want to talk about. JANEWAYNo. I just want to get back to my reading. (She gestures to her book.) NELIXOh, yes. Of course. Well goodni–
The ship suddenly rocks, causing Janeway and Nelix to bounce a bit. The red alert comes on.
	HARRYKim to all senior officers, please come to the bridge.
INT. BRIDGE Tom and Tuvok are already at their positions. Harry is standing in front of the captain’s chair. Nelix and Janeway exit the turbolift.
	JANEWAYWhat’s going on here? HARRYCaptain, there’s some sort of subspace interference in front of us. TOMIt’s destabilized our warp field. We can’t go to warp until we’re several million kilometers away. JANEWAYWhy didn’t the sensors warn us about this? HARRYBecause it just appeared. We had no warning. JANEWAYVery well. Mr. Kim, get to your station and tell me if there is any way through this, and if there isn’t, I want to know how large it is. HARRY(Moving to his post) Aye.
Chakotay exits the turbolift and stops in front of his chair.
	CHAKOTAYWhat’s going on? JANEWAYSome sort of interference collapsed our warp field.
The ship starts to shake
	HARRYCaptain, the interference is growing stronger. JANEWAYWhat’s causing this? TUVOKSomething is emerging from subspace. JANEWAYWhat? TUVOK It appears to be a... ship.
EXT. SPACE Voyager is stopped, in front of it, special effects happen, and a ship, that looks like the Borg vessel from The Next Generation episodes “Decent I & II,” appears. FADE TO: COMMERCIAL ACT TWO: FADE IN: EXT. SPACE Voyager stopped in space with the “Decent” ship in front of it. CUT TO: INT. BRIDGE Bridge crew is all there–Janeway, Chakotay, Harry, and Tom–in their positions. Nelix is on the bridge too; he’s standing behind the railing to the right of Janeway.
	TOMWhat kind of a ship is that? HARRYI don’t know. My scans won’t penetrate the hull. It’s not generating a warp field. I can’t pick up any recognizable energy signatures. JANEWAYTuvok, open hailing frequencies. CHAKOTAYWait. I think recognize this configuration. (He sits in his chair, looks at the screen between his seat and the captain’s seat and plays with it.) Here it is. Captain, it appears that ship is a Borg vessel. JANEWAYWhat? That’s like no Borg ship we’ve ever seen. Tuvok, raise shields and arm phasers. CHAKOTAYThe database says that it is a Borg ship, Captain. From a mission that the Enterprise was involved in seven years ago. JANEWAY(To herself) The Enterprise, why is it always the Enterprise? (To the crew) Alright, I need options. What’s their fire power? Can we outrun them? Tom, get ready for evasive maneuv– TUVOKCaptain, they’re hailing us. JANEWAYOpen a channel. TUVOKChannel open. JANEWAYThis is Captain Kathryn Janeway from the United Federation of Planets starship, Voyager. We are not in the mood to fight with you today, but we will fight if necessary. TUVOKThey are responding. JANEWAYOn screen.
On the screen appears a humaniod face with Borg implants similar to Seven's, but this humanoid has a full Borg eyepiece.
	AM’TALIAGreetings, Captain Janeway. I am Am’talia, commander of the Borg Confederation vessel Omakah. (Beat) Did you say a Federation starship? JANEWAYYes. AM’TALIAFrom the Alpha Quadrant? JANEWAYYes. (Beat) I take it you are familiar with the Federation. AM’TALIAFamiliar? Of course I’m familiar with the Federation. Without the help of a Federation starship, the Enterprise, the Borg Confederation would still be under the control of the android Lore; we wouldn’t be the peaceful explorers we are today. We are indebted to you. JANEWAYTo us? Don’t you mean you are indebted to the Enterprise and her crew. AM’TALIAYes, we are indebted to the Enterprise and any other Federation starship. You’re far from the Federation, do you need assistance? JANEWAYYes, we are far from the Federation, very far. And, yes, would could use some assistance. We are trying to get back. Perhaps you have a spare transwarp coil which we can trade for? AM’TALIAWe don’t use transwarp any longer. We want to avoid contact with the Collective, by any means necessary. We don’t want to get assimilated. Instead of transwarp drive, we use subspace corridors. NELIXLike the Vaadwaur. AM’TALIAThe who? NELIX(Stepping forward) The Vaadwaur. A species, we met them several thousand light-years back, that used subspace corridors to explore and conquer pieces of the Delta Quadrant centuries ago, including my home world. We inadvertently reintroduced them–- JANEWAYThat’s enough Mr. Nelix. Commander Am’talia, how long has the–-Borg Confederation, you called it?–-been out of contact with the Collective? AM’TALIAEight years, Captain. JANEWAYEight years, you say. Well, it’s safe to assume that the Borg have made some pretty impressive assimilations since that time. I have a proposal for you. We have had some recent contact with the Borg, and we will give you all the information we have on their technology, including the opportunity to scan a former drone, for the ability to travel the subspace corridors, and any maps of corridors heading toward the Federation you are willing to share. AM’TALIAYour offer is. . . intriguing. (“Discusses” it with the crew of the ship by closing her good eye and concentrating.) We accept. JANEWAYVery good. Now, if you’d lower your shields, we’ll be happy to beam you, and any crew you need to, Voyag–- AM’TALIAThat’s unnecessary, captain. We’d prefer to come to your ship under our own power. And I will be the only one beaming aboard. JANEWAYVery well, Commander. I’m also going to assign Voyager’s ambassador, Mr. Nelix here, to take you to sick bay and present you with any information that you may need. AM’TALIAThat is acceptable. Now, if you will allow me, I’ll transport right now. JANEWAYVery well. I’ll send Nelix to the transporter room now. AM’TALIAThat will be unnecessary.
A green light shimmers around Am'talia. After the light clears, Am'talia no longer appears on the view screen. A beat later, the green light shimmers on the bridge and Am'talia is standing there. Am'talia is dressed in normal clothers and looks like a normal humaniod, except for the occasional Borg implant, the full eyepiece, and a full Borg arm, which reaches below the knee.
	AM'TALIAWe are more than capable of transporting ourselves.
On the angry and surprised look on Janeway’s face, we FADE TO: COMMERCIAL
So, there it is. That's what I wrote. The rest of the episode goes something like this: Act 3 & 4 was to have Nelix take Am'talia to sickbay where information was to be traded, Seven was to be scanned (as well as give up some nanoprobes), and Nelix would be scanned and have his blood drawn because he would have slipped and said that every week he gets a dose of nanoprobes because they brought him back to life after he died. The Doctor would be wonderfully pompous around Am'talia, but become extremely curious when he finds out that Am'talia was a medical drone on the original cube. Act 4 ends with Am'talia and Nelix back on the bridge when a Borg Cube exits transwarp and opens fire on Voyager. Act 5 is the fight. Voyager firing at the sphere. The Cube noticing the other ship and insisting on assimilating it. Lots of fighting. Voyager gets hit badly and Am'talia insists they leave. Am'talia opens a rift in subspace and pushes Voyager through. Hundreds of light years later the crew is in the Briefing Room (otherwise known as the ugly table room) where Torres tells the crew that a Borg homing beacon was found in one of the Nacelles. The ship traveled 1000 light-years toward the Alpha Quadrant with the push into the corridor, but can not re-enter because they don't know how to integrate Federation technology with the information they were given. Then, the end. For those who think they know more than I do, I'd like to know which twin Harry liked and which twin liked him. I can't remember, and they don't show reruns locally anymore. Ensign Jenkins was a real character. She appeared in one episode of the first three seasons when Harry was playing captain on the night shift. She was a pretty blonde woman. Don't any of you try to argue. I have a list (somewhere) of non-main character names who had speaking parts so I could throw their names around. By the end of Season Seven, I thought that it had been a pretty good one. Not great, but that's mostly because after four years (ones they got Seven of Nine) the shows finally started to focus on character and how each character has grown since being stuck so far from home. Basically, character wise, the last season picked up where season three left off. My biggest disappoint, not counting those horrible "Workforce" episodes, was Nelix leaving the ship before it got to Earth. Sure, it was cool that he met a group of his people, but why did he have to stay? Why couldn't they have joined the crew of the ship and come to Earth too? I guess the writers/producers thought it was an easy way to wrap up his character. The lazy bums. Well, congrats on getting this far. Now, go finish the test.

Sleeplessness

What do you do when you can't sleep at night?

Do you just lay in bed thinking sleepy thoughts?

Do you turn on the TV and watch an infomercial?

Do you grab a book or magazine?

Recently, I've been pulling myself out of bed and reading Harry Potter fan-fic. Not exactly the most important discovery I've made on the 'net. I've read a few short stories and two novel-length fan-fics. This one takes place when Harry's at school and makes all the characters horny little punks. It was a fun read, only because I couldn't take it seriously. That's probably the only way to read it. The other long one takes place years after the book and was much easier to read, mostly because the characters actually stay in character.

Do you want to know what's even worse? Most of the time, while I'm reading this stuff, I put on the sound-track to the first Harry Potter movie.

Not one of my proudest moments, but it's still fun.