Dear Brother

I want my DVDs back. I loaned them to you a while ago and I still don't think that you've watched them. If you had, I'd have hoped for some communication. You know an e-mail or a MySpace message saying, "Holy monkey nuts those really sucked. Why'd you lend them to me? What made you think I'd enjoy them? You suck for even liking these. How can we even be related? What's wrong with you?" Or maybe something saying the opposite.

I'm pretty sure you'd like them if you just sat down and gave them a chance, but you haven't in the past months and I don't expect you to anytime soon. It's too bad you haven't, though, they're really good. Just ask the other brother. Oh, wait, during the drive to Easter he did tell you how good they were and suggested you watch them. Huh, who else could convince you? The parents? They enjoyed them, too. So did the last roommate I had and a good friend who now lives down south and all the other people who own them and have watched them more than once.

I want them back. I may not watch them right away, I may not watch them ever again, but they're mine. I just want them back.

When's the next time I'll see you? The end of July? Maybe? I doubt it though. When after that? Thanksgiving? Not if there's a repeat of last year, so I not going to hold my breath for that. Maybe at your birthday? That's five months away. I don't want to wait that long.

Since I know that you're not going to come up here, mail them to me. Once I get them, if you so desire, I'll mail you a check for the postage.

Thanks.