I don't think this is a horrible place, it's not. Lots of people love it here, but I don't. I'm not sure what it is, it's just not a comfortable fit, for me. I felt more comfortable living in a (semi-)crap hole in Cowcity.
What am I trying to say here today? I'm not sure. I'm just tired. I haven't been on an interview since early August (Or did I have one in September?) because of my car and gas and going to something like eleven interviews and not being hired and only being called back for two of them and only getting letters for about five of them.
I've been all over that crap before though. And maybe it's not even about the crap. Maybe it's about needing to set my sights higher than me just wanting to live and work somewhere else. But that all I really want right now. I don't expect to be jumped up a pay grade or suddenly be put in an office with actual responsibilities, that's not going to happen because I don't have the experience. I can do my job, though, and I can do it pretty quickly and accurately. I can learn how to do other things, too, if that's what the job requires.
(I got this far yesterday evening and then got distracted by work stuff. It was a stupid survey about a stupid program that still hasn't been completed, but they want to know what we all think about how they've done so far. The trouble was, it wouldn't really allow me to be thoughtful in my honesty. Several of the questions supplied an "other" choice and then a one line box to explain that "other." However, they little box only allowed for 40 characters, including spaces. 40 characters is not much space to write / The space between the letter "e" and the slash would be character 41 in the sentence I was trying to write. It was just really, really annoying.
The thing that really got me, though, was that they wanted us to rank, from best to worst, the portions of this so called "roadshow" they did for us a couple of months ago. The "roadshow" was a total waste of time, since the people in charge still hadn't made many decisions about the new system. Everything they told us was followed with a "We're still not sure if that's how it'll be." or a "But it's probably going to change a lot between now and when we implement the news system." So I tried to leave that section blank. The survey wouldn't go forward without that question being filled in. I filled my sort of answers, but I decided to write an e-mail to the people in charge to tell them that it wasn't an honest answer and if they're actually looking for well thought out feedback they need to allow more that 40 characters. I clicked on the e-mail link provided on the survey and when I sent my e-mail off I got this back:
Your message did not reach some or all of the intended recipients.I resent the letter immediately and got the same letter. I sent it again this morning and got the same response. For some odd reason, I don't think they actually care about the opinions of the people who will have to actually use this new system.
Subject: Survey
Sent: 11/13/2007 4:55 PM
The following recipient(s) could not be reached:
... on 11/13/2007 4:55 PM
The message reached the recipient's e-mail system, but delivery was refused. Attempt to resend the message. If it still fails, contact your system administrator.
Nice of them.)
12 comments:
We'll be in town, though we're doing thanksgiving dinner on Friday instead of Thursday so that my sis can be there. I hope we get a chance to see you. I think, in fact, that we need to MAKE SURE to have a time to see you.
BTW- I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to get you a job here. It might help if I knew better what you'd really LIKE to be doing. I'd hire you if I could!
I'll be up Wednesday night and leaving Sunday afternoon. We're doing Thanksgiving dinner Thursday afternoon, but will probably be all finished around five or six. E-mail, call, or hurl a rock through one of my parents' windows.
As for wondering what I'd "really LIKE to be doing," I have no idea myself. Sorry I can't help.
After thinking about it a little more, the stuff that you an Mr. Logic are doing wasn't what you liked (or wanted) to be doing when you took the jobs, they were you're way to get back to CA and start really having a family together.
Of course, that whole family may be the thing thing that you two LIKE to be doing. That helps, too.
Re the survey: no, they don't care, they're just going through the motions so, if you're stupid enough, you'll feel like a valued employee.
Jazz -- On my craggy, cynical surface I know that they don't care (and knew it even as I took the damn survey), but in my soft, optimistic center I like to think that when people ask for opinions on ways to improve things, they mean it, or will at least pretend in a way that makes them seem genuine. (40 characters! What the fuck were they thinking?!)
You'd thing I'd have learned my lesson back when I was still working with 'Bucks and my boss asked for my honest opinion and when I gave it to him he cut my hours back and gave me really shitty schedules. But I obviously haven't.
*sigh*
How much longer to I have to wait for my heart completely harden into stone?
But they are close to either what we've done before or what our education is in. As you say- we did have a rather huge incentive to be back in the area. It also just happened to be incredibly good timing when I just happened to check out the company website and they were hiring for our two positions at the same time. And we both like what we do, no matter how much we complain about it. Knowing what you want to do is just a jumping off point.
Heel -- Just as I finished posting a comment on you're blog, your new one popped up here. Odd.
Anyway...
I know you guys like your jobs more often than not. I can tell when you two speak about them. (Although I'm not quite sure what you do anymore. I mean you have a tablet for drawing on your computer, but you also edit things for people at work, and you also prep things for printing and make sure they get where they need to go. It almost confuses me as much as listening to your husband explain computational philosophy to me.)
The thing that bothers me the most is that even if I find that jumping off point, I'll probably need something to bite me in the ass so I actually take the leap.
I just invited Heels and family (on her blog) to our house for Thanksgiving food and visit.
And we just said "Like, TOTALLY YES! OMG!"
Just like that. But seriously.
WHEEEE!!!!
And I said, "Okay then. We're eating around 2ish but you can come over earlier". Visiting time, doncha know.
Should we bring anything? Food? Wine? Apple Cider? Knitting projects?
Hey,
I want to get together with you when you are up here, give me a call at cinco ocho ocho - zero cinco seven ate, or email me at mattv@mlode.com.
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