Another Year

Happy birthday to me
I'd rather not be
I'm tired of existence
Happy birthday to me

Work is what I do to convince myself that I'm not a useless human being.

I just did the math, we really only have 20 slots for RNs where I work. That means the five missing nurses leaves us with only three-quarters our maximum staff. Still, if The Director would let the one guy move to first watch and the extra nurse on third watch was willing to cover one of the relief posts we would only really need one more RN to fill out the schedule.

Unfortunately, The Director seemed to tell me that she isn't willing to let the one nurse go to first watch. Not without meeting with the supervisors at least. That meeting probably won't happen for two, maybe three, weeks. The third watch nurse will have to volunteer after notice is posted about the open positions. Even if she volunteers we have to give everyone fifteen days to bid for the post as well.

In hindsight I shouldn't have been, but I was constantly surprised by the shock supervisors expressed when I told them that with the two RNs promoting we would have five open RN positions. Every one of them was amazed. The insist that they didn't know we were so short. Except several of them were involved with encouraging two nurses to "resign" in the past three months. Two "resigning" and two promoting is four add the other who transferred to a position in Cow City and we get five. Funny how that happens.

The worst thing, and I know it shouldn't be the worst thing, is having all these people telling me to be happy or to smile or blah fucking blah. I hear this all the time. They know I don't smile and I'm not happy because I have a job that I fucking hate, but it doesn't matter to them, and usually I'll make a joke. Today, though I didn't. When told to be happy or to smile I told them no, thanks, I'd rather not. I never stuck around long enough to learn of their reaction to my comment.

I know what my problem is. I can't seem to let go of my fucking job. EVER! If I could I wouldn't have had to write that post last night at 10:30 because I kept dwelling on the bullshit going on there. Even after writing it I stayed in bed staring at the ceiling for at least twenty more minutes. Oh, yeah. Sucks.

And now all I want to do is call in sick. Call in sick tomorrow and for the rest of my life. Or at least for the 350ish hours I have saved up. Fuck them all.

I miss being able to read and actually focus on what I'm reading. I miss being able to write bits of stories to clear thoughts out of my head. I miss hearing a joke from a person or the TV and having the good feeling that comes from laughing linger for a while; now the feeling is gone before I finish smiling.

Office Politics and Fucking Bullshit

Been trying to sleep, but I should can't. Maybe writing this will help. I hope.

Where I work we have about 30 RNs on staff. Now to become a supervisor, you must first be an RN. So, guess where most of the supervisors come from. That's right.

Well, a couple of weeks ago interviews were held for two supervising nurse positions. Three people (only three) interviewed. All of them were from out staff. Our RN staff is currently short four positions. One of the positions is sick relief which is usually an extra nurse on second watch unless someone goes out for a long time. Another post is one that was made up by the asshole because he didn't actually want to think about where to put new RNs when they came to work for us, so it is an extra body second watch, too. Neither of these get filled behind because they are not critical posts. The other empty posts are relief positions, one first watch (from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM) and the other is third watch (2:00 PM to 10:00 PM) and they are a bitch to fill, but it's been working out for the most part. And as fortune has it a new RN started about a month ago and she'll be slipping into that third watch post starting on the first. Also about a month ago, one of the RNs whose main focus is on paperwork volunteered to be moved into the first watch post; he's not been moved due to politics and fucking bullshit.

Back to the story: two supervisor posts and three RNs interviewing.

Today I was informed, although I think it was more a slip of the tongue on the new boss's part, that both of the supervisor positions will be filled. One will be filled by the nurse who was acting as a supervisor up through the end of July. The other will be filled by the nurse who is completing her training on Wednesday and was supposed to become the third watch relief. The other holds a post on second watch, but the second watch relief person is going to be moved into the newly vacated post. And while I haven't been given an official date I think it's safe to assume this will be happening on Thursday, the first of September.

All three relief positions will be empty.

We'll be down five RNs.

And I'll be the one expected to take care of all this.

How will I do that? Well, we have one nurse from a registry who's willing to do three or four shifts a week. We have a nurse on state salary who will come in for one shift a week second watch only on Saturdays or Sundays. So, let's say that's five shifts a week covered. Five out of fifteen. One third. Let's say that maybe five more will be filled by nurses volunteering for overtime. The other third, well, that'll be filled by forced overtime; making a nurse come in 8 hours early or stay 8 hours later.

And I'll be the one expected to take care of all this.

And that's why I can't sleep.

And horrible thoughts seem a lot more reasonable tonight.

"...the inablity to construct a future."

---Rollo May

I got to work on Friday, pulled out the schedule binder, and took a close look at it. Everything looked good. All posts were filled through the next Saturday. With the exception of a few holes in the schedule, the rest of the month looked good. Nothing to much to worry about. The only thing I had to worry about on Friday was the suicide watch going on in back, and I couldn't take care of it until the guy was seen by a psychiatrist. I thought that if I got everything done, I'd be able to check out early. Why sit around doing nothing at work when I can sit around doing nothing somewhere I don't hate?

The day before, when I got back from work, there was a letter from one of the agencies I'd applied to. I mailed out the application on Tuesday, but I'd applied there several times in the weeks before. I immediately ripped the envelope open and read the short paragraph. Basically, it said that they are looking for the most qualified applicants and I am not going to be interviewed. When I checked my e-mail I had a nearly identical e-mail from a different agency. It's nice to know that after five year and ten months I'm still not qualified to promote. The worst thing was that one of the agencies that turned me down for an interview is a place that I actually believe in what they do. It's a place that even if I hate my job I'd be working on something that I think is good and right and helpful and important.

My mood was a force of darkness surrounding me because when people asked me how I was doing, I told them that I was upset and disappointed. Of course they asked me why and, against my normal operating procedure, I told them. All of them offered to help me in any way they could. How the fuck could they help me? They're not the ones who refuse to give me an interview. They don't have the power to call these agencies and insist they give me a chance. They can't help me! Sure, if I get an interview they'll give me a good recommendation, but it's unhelpful right now and doesn't make me feel better, just more frustrated.

Is it so wrong, oh bastard asshole force of the universe, for me to get an interview? If I'm going to fail, I'd like to fail on my own merits. Give me a fucking chance! Let me put on my long sleeved shirt and a tie with stripes and give it a shot. Let me try to get closed minded assholes to open up. Let me try to convince them that even though I'm a fat, piece-of-shit schlub I'm worth taking a chance on. And if I fail, at least I failed trying. And if it's wrong, jackass universe, why? Why? Just why?

At tenish, I called back to find out about the suicide watch. The guy was with the doctor. I called back after ten-thirty and the watch was on. I called people at home. I called nurse registries. I called people at the facility. I walked around and asked people in person to take a shift or two. I sat on my overblown ass and waited for four-and-a-half hours to hear from people. Out of nine shifts, I filled two. Both, fortunately on Friday. And I wasted a day at work bored. I sat and did nothing. I doodled. I read some fan-fic that I'd sent to myself a while ago and actually finished reading weeks ago. I did nothing.

And all this makes me want is something horrible.

One of the people I talked to tried to pull the bullshit, "This stuff happens for a reason." on me. I don't believe in that anymore, and I told her so. I'm so careful in my life, so guarded, that really bad shit doesn't happen to me. I don't let it. I don't allow myself to get into those kinds of positions. Unless one of my parents dies in the coming week and I'm here to help the other parent, then I don't see how me getting disappointed at failing a job interview warrants the fucking universe keeping me away from these interviews "for a reason." A vague, indefinable, pointless fucking reason.

And my weekend has been me in a funk. At least the new Harry Potter opens next weekend. That'll be two hours away from me and my bullshit and my worrying over things that I'm not quite comfortable writing about here.

God, I... I... Fuck.

Have you heard the good news?

My cousin graduated from high school on the 2nd of June. I was the only one in my immediate family to go and sit and be bored and congratulate the kid and his parents and blah, blah, blah.

After the ceremony, I went to the house of my uncle and aunt for cake and chips and conversation and such. Eventually the subject of my youngest brother's wedding came up (it was last Saturday, for those with a score card) which the mutated into my uncle asking me about the program my brother is in.

Since I don't think I've written it down here before: my brother just completed his first year of medical school. Two or so years ago he earned his Master's degree in public health, which allowed him to travel to a few places in the world and see how crappy things are in other places. And although he wouldn't phrase it this way, he decided to become part of the solution. Hence, med school leading to tens of thousand in debt and a way for him to help educate people and solve some basic problems that too much of the world suffers from and too many people die from, like diarrhea.

So, my uncle and I talk about this for a bit and he asks me if I've ever considered doing something like what my brother is doing. I admit that yes, I've thought about it. He asks why I don't go in that direction. He says he knows I'm smart enough to do it if I want to and he thinks it'd be a good job. I agree with him that I could probably do it, but I won't. He asks why. I tell him that, in large part, it's because I'd have to deal with people around my space or in my face all day long and I don't really care for people. He looks around at the gathering thing and asks what I think this is. This, he says, has people. I give him a lopsided grin thing and nod, hoping that it show that I am uncomfortable being there. That I'm not there for my, but more for them. I think he gets it because he switches gears and asks me about writing. He says that he remembers me doing a thing with a blog and asks why I don't do writing. That's something I can do and don't have to deal with people, he says. I agree with him, but... He cuts me off with a but what. Just do it, he says. And I try to go into my explanation about how work leaves me mentally and emotionally exhausted so that when I'm done with the work day all my brain is good for is nothing he doesn't listen. He thinks I'm making excuses. Maybe I am. I've just been so worn out from work that I don't know anymore if it's actually work or if it's just me finding ways to be stuck. I don't admit it to him, though, because soon his wife jumps in about how it's important to have hobbies and I let the subject get changed. Of course that conversation has been with me for almost three weeks now.

Yesterday, there was news from work. Apparently my asshole boss has been let go. If I believed in a lord, I'd probably be thanking that being. My hope is that the person who is temporarily taking the asshole's place does not micromanage like he did. I hope she takes the time to listen and think before making a judgement. I hope she stands up for the nurses. I hope she does a good job and whoever they end up replacing the asshole with full time does a good job, too.

There is a problem with this, for me though, and it has to do with all the family around here who only hear my complaints about the man and not the actual work that I do. When my parents told me the news, they expected me to be ecstatic. They thought I'd be jumping around and suddenly be looking forward to going to work on Monday. What they failed to think about was the he only made an already wearying/worrying and hard job worse, the job is still going to be wearying and worrying and hard. I hopefully won't have someone peering over my shoulder making the job harder, but it's not going to get better, for me. If I was the kind of person who could just leave all the work bullshit at work, I would be fine, but I'm not. I've been gone from work for a week and a half and have had work related dreams almost every night. Why? Because my job is never done. No part of my job is actually complete until the shift has started then I can't worry about the current shift, but I still have to worry about the next shift and the next day and the next week and the next month. I see holes in the schedule that extend for weeks and months and I'm not allowed to do anything about them because of the limited number of people or the fucking contract or the possibility of someone being removed for training or so many hundreds of other variables. Oh, and now we're coming up on fire season and our prison trains crews to go out and help fight the fires and with them goes nurses which cuts into my fucking schedule and eliminates a body. Of course we don't hire seasonal employees to help if there are fires because, you know, that costs extra money even though it would fucking make sense and ensure that the quality of care at the actual facility stayed high. This prison is not near large cities. I doesn't have a large pool of registry nurses to pull from when we're short. Almost all of them have to drive in from more than an hour away when they do come in...

See, this is why I have the dreams. I should be able to get the hell over the damned place and not fucking worry, but I do. And I try to figure out how to make the shitty situation look a little better with some polish, but polished shit is still fucking shit.

Okay, I'm working myself up. I'm going to stop. I'm going to head upstairs and have some food. I'm going to go and watch Super 8 this afternoon and enjoy myself. I'm going to finish re-reading The Phantom Tollbooth and marvel at its brilliance.

I'll probably return tomorrow.

Be well.

More Adventures in My Boss is an Asshole

Let’s start from where we left off, shall we?

To remind you, on Thursday I had e-mailed my boss to let him know that a change he made in the schedule would create a permanent hole on Saturday mornings and we’d probably have to use involuntary overtime to fill the hole nearly every week. I tried to be forceful, but with tact.

Friday morning I get to work and find this in my in-box: “I am very aware of this. This would last for three weeks.”

So, he actively knew he was fucking up the Saturday schedule. He knew. And he it didn’t bother him.

After reading his e-mail, I let out a serious string of fucking expletives, but moved on. We were doing some testing which required me to be away from my desk, and from the asshole, for several hours. I put the shit behind me and moved on with my day. Saturday morning, however, I realized that he didn’t include the new supervisor who’s in charge of staffing in this decision. First thing I did Monday morning was forward his e-mails to her, making sure that she’ll be involved in decisions involving the staff from now on.

Shortly after I forwarded the e-mail, the asshole walked into my office and I brought up the change he made to the schedule the week before. “We’ll just change her RDOs,” he said. (RDO means “regular day off,” FYI.) “She’s being assigned a new post,” I said “I don’t have the authority to change post orders. Do you?” He frowned and rubbed his hand all over his face and through his hair and scrunched his eyes and then said, “Well, you know, that, well, ah, see we’d need to meet and confer with the union steward. And, well, uh, well it’s, we’ll just leave her days off and deal with Saturdays as it comes up.”



I knew that he’d give the wrong answer. The correct answer would have been that the nurse needed to stay in her current post due to institutional need. Of course he hates to acknowledge when he’s made mistakes, so I didn’t expect him to fix the error.



Next I immediately brought up a nurse who’s been out sick a lot recently. I expected this nurse back on Monday based on information the asshole had given me last week. The nurse wasn’t here, though. I asked my boss about it. He reminded me that the nurse’s RDOs are Tuesday and Wednesday. I reminded him that last week he told me the nurse would be back this week and the week starts on Monday. But his RDOs, the asshole told me. Monday, I told him. He then turned to the supervisors, who I share an office with, and their dagger-like glares. He backed out the door and half heartedly apologized to me for not giving me the full scoop. I should expect the missing nurse on Thursday, unless we hear differently.



It wasn’t even eight in the morning and I’d already ruined his day. [sarcasm]Yippee.[/sarcasm]



But did it end there? Of course not. After his little visit, I explained to the two supervisors what both conversations with him were about. They got a bit riled. After going out and finishing phase 2 of the testing, the asshole found me in my office again and one of the supervisors said, “I hear we’ve got this hole every Saturday now.” He tried to slide around and back pedal and seemed to want to blame someone, but couldn’t. That conversation ended with the supervisor saying, “So, we have a hole in the schedule every Saturday, then?” He left after that.



Through the rest of the day, I worked to rile up the other supervisors who don’t share my office by sharing the news about Saturdays. I’m conflicted because I really wish I didn’t feel so good about trying to destroy what little confidence the supervisors might have left in him.



Which brings us to this morning.



One of the supervisors wasn’t here like she should have been when I came in. I was told that she headed home because she couldn’t find her keys. Her only hope was that she left the on the kitchen counter.



The asshole galumphs into my office around 7:45 and asks me if the supervisor ran out of here this morning. I didn’t like the half grin on his face. I told him that she wasn’t here when I came in, that she ran home. He asked if she was looking for her keys. I said yup. “Get her on the phone,” he commanded. “I have her keys.” I called and told her that he was with me and that he said he had her keys. She wanted to speak with him. I handed over the phone and heard him say that her keys were found yesterday afternoon in the bathroom.

He hung up the phone then told me, “A nurse found her keys in the bathroom last night. I told [another supervisor] that if [missing key supervisor] called to let her know I had them. Did [missing key supervisor] call last night?” I wanted to say FUCK NO, but shook my head instead. He nodded then said, “I’m heading to [the other yard], have [missing key supervisor] sit in my office and wait when she gets here.” He strolled out with an asshole’s grin on his face.

Now, maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s because I’ve been sharing an office with the supervisor for 4 months now. Maybe my glasses have suddenly developed a rosy hue. If I were in charge and of this particular woman, I would recognize how hard she works and how much she takes everything to heart. I’d think about how hard she’s probably been on herself since she discovered her keys were missing. I’d know that she’d be really nasty to herself on her hour and a half drive home to look for the keys and how much she’d beat herself up as she drove another 90 minutes back to work. I think about all this and when I saw her, I’d sit her down and tell her that she made a mistake and ask her not to make it again. And that would be the end of it. (Actually, I would have ended it yesterday by calling her on her cell phone and letting her know that I had her keys and she didn’t need to worry when she came in morning.)

Yes, that’s what I would do. Of course the shit fucker I have for a boss isn’t that kind of a person. He’s going to lay it on thick to a woman who’s here five days a week doing her best to keep things running smoothly for the institution and the nurses.

What do I know, though? It’s only 9:15 in the morning and she’s not back, yet. Christ, I hope she doesn’t quit over this.

THE AFTERMATH!

Well, it didn't happen at all like I feared. [Missing key supervisor] went directly to him and even though he tried to make her feel guilty and horrible, she wouldn't let him. She told him how rude and unprofessional it was that he didn't tell her right away that he had her keys. She told him that he needs to stop meddling in the supervisors' programs and always include them in any decision making. Essentially she called him a fuck-up in a whole lot more words.

As for my scheduling problem, well, the new supervisor in charge of the schedule had a talk with him today. She ended their conversation by telling him that he was wrong not including her in a meeting about changing the schedule. She told him that we can't change the schedule unless we go through the proper procedure. And she told him that if he knew he was going to create a hole in the schedule then he's more retarded that the most retarded retard in the retarded world. (She didn't use those words, of course. She'd never say "retarded." She may have thrown the f-bomb around though. She does that on occasion.)

I guess that means everything turned out well-ish today. Of course the fucktard asshole is there until 5 tonight. I'm sure he can fuck something up between now and then.

Another Post in the Ongoing Saga of My Boss is an Asshole

A few weeks ago, my boss decided to fuck with the schedule with out asking the person who looks at the schedule for nearly 40 hours a week what it would do. What it did was take away the wiggle room we had on 2nd watch on Sundays. Before, if someone called in sick we didn't necessarily have to bring someone else in. Now, we have to bring in another person or work short.

Today, without talking to the person who looks at the schedule for nearly 40 hours a week, my boss decided to move one of the nurses off her current shift (which is Tuesday through Saturday) and onto an open(ish) shift (which is Monday through Friday). Guess what this does... It leaves us one person short, every week, 2nd watch on Saturdays. This classification of nurses is not know for volunteering for overtime. We have no Permanent Intermittent Employees of this class. And the only registry nurse of this class we have isn't allowed to actually do the work of this class (because my boss is an asshole).

Odds are, we will be forcing overtime on one of two nurses ever week for at least a month. At least they'll be able to switch off weeks, right?

More Thorough Explanation

Don't feel so good about doing this, but I promised and explanation.

I don't like my boss. Part of me feels like he's picking on me, but the more logical part figures that since I'm the new one it's easy for him to ask how I'm doing and get an answer. Still, he jumps the gun on things.

Example 1:
Guys were moving my desk out of our office. I was told not to help, so I sat. One guy made a joke about lazy people when they came back and saw that the new desk wasn't moved in yet. I made a joke about me being very lazy.

Got that?

A couple of hours later, the supervisor for the guy who made the joke came to me and told me that I really offended the guy and I had to apologize. The next time I saw the guy, I apologized and everything seemed cool.

The next week my boss called me to his office and told me that he heard I had a problem with those guys. I told him I didn't. He told me that he heard there was a problem. I asked him what the problem was. He said he didn't know then told me that this was a warning.

Example 2:
I made a copy of a page I need to work on a report. There were some very confusing and sort of contradictory entries on the paper. To remind myself to ask about it on the next work day I drew an arrow to the problem area and wrote "WTF?" nearby.

I asked and was answered the next workday, but the woman I asked wanted to make a copy of my copy to show one of the supervisors. She did. I did my work and shredded my copy. The woman I asked ended up showing it to my boss. He called me into a meeting they were having, with the supervisor, and proceeded to tell me, in front of them, how inappropriate it was that I wrote that. I tuned out the rest and left, cowed.

A few days later he was meeting with the woman I asked and he called me in. Once I got in there he proceeded to hand me a letter stating what I did wrong by writing "WTF?" and mildly berated me. I signed the damned letter and listened to another lecture about why it was inappropriate. (Although I personally think those three letters are as inappropriate as saying "darn" or "shoot." Adults know what those words really mean.) He made a copy of the signed letter, told me the original would be in my personnel file and I left, angry this time.

Example 3:
A week or so after that, he was in my office talking to one of the women I share it with when he asked her to leave. He turned to me and said, "I hear you have a problem with [one of the supervisors]." I wanted to say WTF, but didn't. Instead I asked him what I did. He said he didn't know. (WTF!) He told me that when we speak around women we can't talk to them like we talk around other guys. (WTF MFer!) Then he asked if I noticed how he spoke to the women I share my office with. I told him that I didn't notice him speaking any differently to me that he did with any women. He looked taken aback by that. When he recovered he said I needed to go to the supervisor, apologize, and find out what I did. This was my final warning, he told me, next time he learns I've disrespected or offended someone I'm going to be punished.

What did I do? Well, the day before I gave that supervisor something that I was working on that was in a layout I designed. I was looking for criticism and advice. Near the end of the day, she brought it back to me and said it was okay. I said thanks and that I wanted to get my boss's opinion on the layout, too.

After I left for the day, she was speaking with my boss. He asked about me. She told him what I said, but, according to her, she said it in a here-something-odd-he-said-to-me way. She insisted that she wasn't offended or disrespected and that I didn't owe her an apology.

Ever since then I can feel my boss keeping a close watch on me.

And that's part of the reason for the stomach aches. It's like it was way back before I had a blog and was working at 'Bucks. (My manager was sort of trying to push me out or down or something. He'd constantly schedule me to open one morning (in at 4:30AM) and then close the next (There until at least 11:30PM) then I'd either get a day off or a short mid-day shift and the day after would be open then close again. And when I'd trade he'd get really pissed at me. It really sucked. Which is why I quit that one time then started to blog.) It really hurts me, mentally. Especially since I'm trying to hard to do a good job.

By the good graces of the god of shoe laces I'll get my letters of recommendation soon and have a job at the junior college by Christmas or New Year's.

The Office is Not a Reflection of Life

To borrow a phrase, "Il pleut comme vache qui pisse."

Well, not now, but earlier. From my desk, looking out the window, the rain was coming down so hard it looked like fog. Wasn't fog, though, because I could hear it pounding on the roof. Co-workers were gathered at a window mocking the people who were outside.

I think one of my co-workers is going to get fired. (What a transition, right?) This morning he played a joke on TMSV, the one who told that inane story, the one who never shuts up, the one who thinks her business is sometimes (too often) ours and our business is always hers. He took everything on her desk and moved it back to the desk that she was supposed to start using when she was promoted last year. She came in and freaked out, although I didn't hear her since she was in the back and I just don't care. Then she left and never came back.

Since then there have been whispered conversations and phone calls and such. Some people think that the problem is with TMSV because she's quick to threaten action when things don't go her way. (I have no idea if she's actually gone through with it.) Some think that they want to be prepared for Monday when she comes in and starts to throw out threats.

I disagree.

I think GICS may get fired because he's consistently late and calls in sick a lot. (Like he's in the sick day hole by something like 80 hours.) He's a hard worker and gets stuff done, but he's loud and obnoxious and quite often a jerk. He's been in lots of private meetings, although not recently, that ended with many sour faces. I think that by next Friday, he's gone.

I hope, however, that TMSV will be banished to the desk in the back. It's so much more peaceful without her around.

What's that? We're not helping?

Got an e-mail about twenty minutes ago:

DWC has been tracking overtime by month. To date, the usage of overtime is, unfortunately, not making a large dent in our backlog. Comparing overtime to backlog, we are not addressing the backlog. Therefore, due to our fiscal situation, all overtime must be halted immediately. As of today’s date, November 16, overtime will no longer be paid.

If overtime is unavoidable, please get permission from your supervisor to allow time off.

No more coming in as seven for me.

The thing that really bothers me about the letter is the part that says, "Comparing overtime to backlog, we are not addressing the backlog."

I call HORSESHIT on that one. Since my office worked fucking hard at the end of last year and the beginning of this year to get itself caught up, when the offer of overtime came from those above we started helping two other offices with the backlog from their DEUs.

The first office we started helping, back in April, sent us mail that they'd received in August 2008. When we'd finish what they sent, they'd send us a new batch that needed to be taken care of. A healthy portion of the last set of work then sent us came from September 2009. We helped to catch them up by more than a year in about six months.

The second office was doing a better and really only needed help in getting the ratings done. (I had the joy of screening the mail to make sure it actually belonged in the venue and changing the rater to our rater and then serving and scanning the rating when it was done.) I think we started doing their mail in June or July. They were sending stuff to us that they'd gotten in February. The box that I've been screening for the last week is all from September and October.

I think we've helped, just a little, to "address the backlog."

Bugger.

Recall?

There's a petition being passed around in the office to recall the governator.

I didn't sign it.

I couldn't.

Sure, I think the guy's an asshole and a puppet who doesn't have any real ideas and is just being used by over-zealous members of the Republican party, but he hasn't committed any crimes. A recall election should only be used by the people to oust a criminal.

Got some dirty looks for not signing the thing, too. I guess that just because I'm angry means I should throw out my, few, morals and look for some sort of revenge. Fuckers.

If he'd pulled a Blagojevich sort of thing, then I'd sign the petition, but not for being an asshole. That's not a crime. And if it were, I think we'd all end up in prison.

Here you go, and enjoy the movie.

Today from the Sac Bee:

The governor's latest budget proposal assumes almost 20 percent in employee wage cuts: 15 percent from the three-day furloughs that started this month, plus another 5 percent across-the-board whack.

"Three days (furlough) plus the 5 percent," said H.D. Palmer, Department of Finance spokesman when asked Wednesday to clarify the governor's budget proposal.

The Legislature won't go for the pay cut, but the governor can then add a furlough day for reasons we'll explain.

...

[In] May the governor proposed a 5 percent cut on top of what were then twice-monthly furloughs. The proposal was dead from the start; everyone knew the Democratic-controlled Legislature would never go for it. ...

Sure enough, the Legislature defeated the plan in June. Schwarzenegger followed the "defeat" with a new executive order to add a third furlough day, getting the 5 percent cut in state worker wages that he wanted.

He could do that because a Sacramento Superior Court judge ruled in February that Schwarzenegger's emergency powers let him treat the government's fiscal meltdown like a Southern California wildfire by claiming broad emergency authority – including the power to furlough state workers.

The legal hurdle to exercising that power is proving there's a crisis. The Legislature's bickering while the state's budget ruptures helps. Its rejection of a pay cut is even better.

So this pay cut won't fly, either. Then the governor can add another furlough day. The 20 percent cut will bankrupt some of the 235,000 state workers affected.

Just thought of this...

I won't be at work any Friday's this month:

1. The revised furlough program starts next week, so the Governator is forcing me to take the 10th, 17th, and 24th off.
2. I'm taking the 3rd off to head up to Cowtown for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary.
3. And I won't be here on the 31st because I'll either be driving up to Oregon, for my brother's (and the fiancee's) wedding, or I'll already be up there because I decided to not stay at work any longer.

Weird month already.

Also, I doubt this closing the government three Fridays a month will last long. Lots of state buildings will have to remain open anyway because there are some exceptions to the furlough rule and it'll just piss people off. It's practically insane to close the DMV for weekends, closing it for three Fridays'll just get regular folks yelling at the Governator.

That's why we switched from closing two Fridays a month to self-directed furlough days.

Trans-lash

Like most geeks out there, I've been following the online bitch fest that's come out of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I haven't seen the movie, and I don't plan to. (I saw the first and after watching it I decided that if movies called "Transformers" focuses on a human rather than the robots, what's the point?)

Anyway, lots of people don't like the movie. Lots of people who do like the movie seem to being assholes and using the age-old line, "Well, it's making a lot of money, so we must be right, it's good," to defend their position. (Less often used is the "That's just you're opinion" line, which, when reading a review of anything, is like a huge DUH.)

Because of so many people only reading the first paragraph, or looking at the number of stars, of the negative reviews, Jim Emmerson, of Scanners, wrote about the fallacy of the majority of reactions to what critics have been writing. He should know all about this stuff, he's editor-in-chief of RogerEbert.com, so he gets to see all the bullshit comments, as well as the few good ones. (Last year, he wrote that he didn't think The Dark Knight was great, only kind of okay. Here'sa link to all his posts on the subject, but you should start with Under Cover of The Dark Knight to see that sometimes real discussion can take place. I recommend it all, though.)

Which leads me to why I'm getting into this:

Over at The Moviefile Blog, in a post about things the writer enjoyed about the movie, some commenter named damage wrote: "The movie was awsom who cares if it jump around the world it not reality so just enjoy it if your a true fane of the transformers this movie was about the bots." The comment bugs me, not just because of the bad spelling and grammar.

Really, I want to know what a true fan of Transformers is? Seriously, what is it? Is it someone who watches or reads or plays with anything that has the word "Transformers" on it and automatically loves it? Would this damage person enjoy Kiss Players? And if he (I assume it's a he.) didn't, would that mean he isn't a "true" Transformers fan?

Is that the only way to be considered a "true" fan of anything? Just shut up and "enjoy"? So, those SF Giants fans who sit and bitch about the line-up, but watch and cheer at every game, aren't "true" fans? Can a "true" fan never criticize the thing they enjoy?

I'm a fan of The Transformers, but there's a lot of it that I don't like.

The (North) American shows are what I really enjoy. I grew up watching the original cartoon. Beast Wars was a giant step forward in plot an pacing for animated shows. And Animated is just pure fun while keeping characters pretty true to their beginnings.

The ones from Japan that I tried watching, just didn't click for me. Robots in Disguise's "humor" just rubbed me the wrong way and made it hard to watch the show. (Plus, a flying shark, really?) And Transformers: Pokémon really irked me, and that irked-ness spread into it's two successors.

Like I wrote before, I really didn't care for the murky movie that came out in 2007 and, given the opportunity/motivation, can say exactly why I didn't want to see the new one in the theater. If I were to see it, I promise I'd be one of the complainers, too.

I don't collect the toys. I only occasionally buy the comics, but that's very rare. I don't keep up with any of the news and gossip surrounding the franchise. I can only name a few actors and who they played in the original and have no clue about who plays whom in later shows.

Does that make me less of fan of Transformers that this damage guy?

I still drool over the box set that's coming out. (The GI Joe one, too.) I assume he does, too.

So, why aren't I a "true" fan because I didn't enjoy the first movie and don't think I'd enjoy the second movie?

Maybe it's just because I won't accept something as good just because it tickles my nostalgia.

And what kind of soda did you want?

From the Sac Bee:

A legislative budget committee on Wednesday rejected Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's proposal to cut state employees' paychecks by an additional 5 percent, as part of the ongoing effort to balance a badly out-of-whack state budget.

The committee also voted to increase the state's tax on cigarettes from 87 cents a pack to $2.37, and impose a new tax on oil produced in California.

The governor has made it clear he will veto the tax proposals – and any others included as part of a budget-balancing package.

... "We are hoping that the state will look at other options for cost savings, in part because our members have already experienced (a) pay cut through the furloughs."

Zamora's reference was to the two-days-a-month unpaid leaves the governor imposed on state workers earlier this year. The unpaid days are equivalent to a 9.3 percent pay cut.

...

[Schwarzenegger said,] "It's outrageous that the Legislature would ask Californians to pay higher taxes but refuse to cut the pay of state workers by 5 percent," the governor said in a statement released by his office. "This is exactly why so many Californians have lost faith in Sacramento's ability to solve problems."

Funny, I thought Californians have lost faith in our state's government because it's never been able to responsibly spend money or come to a budget deal on time.

Hours, Money, Holidays, and Possibilities

For eight out of the last nine work-day's I've been coming in at 7AM to get some overtime and I discovered that I like coming in early. So, last week I submitted a request to my supervisor, SUSM, to see if I could change my schedule so I could come in at seven, take a half-hour lunch, and leave at 3:30PM rather than five.

She was gone last week, so I figured, while filling out the form, that she wouldn't approve it before this week and the stupid rules say that we who get our schedule modified can only start it on a Monday. Fine, I thought, I'll ask to start it on the 15th.

Monday, late morning-ish, I get an e-mail from her titled "FYI":

I just wanted to let you know that I have your Request for Alternate/Modified Work Schedule. I will need to talk to PJ & get back to you on this. He is out all week, but I think he may be coming in for a while on Wednesday – but not certain about that. I’ll let you know.

I wrote back with a simple okay, even though I don't understand why she can't just approve or deny it on her own. The other guys and gals who are clerks here don't want to regularly come in at 7AM if they're not getting overtime, so we'll be fully staffed until 5PM. And I asked for an earlier lunch, when no one else has one, which guarantees, on days that I'm here, that no one will ever have to leave for a late lunch again unless they WANT to. And that's a great thing, especially since I'm the one who usually has to leave late for lunch because some of the assholes I work with don't know how to make it there and back again (not a fucking Hobbit's tale) in an hour.

Without really understanding her reasons, I wrote back an okay because I figured if they decided in the positive, I'd get to start on the 15th.

Around 8:30 this morning she e-mailed me: "[ticknart] – did [the PJ] come see you about this yesterday?" meaning my request for modified work. I wrote back a simile "No." because he didn't.

Funny, I thought, isn't she the one who should be speaking with him? I think I made my position pretty clear by submitting the form that, you know, says I want to come to work earlier, take a shorter lunch, and leave earlier. Why should there be any discussion with me about it? Is it necessary for the two of them to know my motivations behind this change?

At nine she sent a reply: "He will be returning on Monday. The effective date on your request is Monday, so we will need to amend this if he approves it."

I printed and signed another request asking for the first day of this thing to be on the 22nd, since it has to start on a Monday. Not that it really matters this month because I'm going to be coming in at 7AM at least four days a week, and leaving at 6PM, so I can get a full 8 hours of overtime each week while it lasts.

Most of me doesn't think this'll get approved, though.

Sometime after I finished my first year here I submitted one of these so I would work four ten hour days each week and was denied because he didn't want to have an exhausted staff. A week after that denial I tried for a 9/8/80 schedule, but I'd stay here until 6PM (because my supervisor at the time -- I despised her -- came in at 7AM and I wanted less time with her around) and he said no to that one because the he'd have to stay until six with me, which made me feel real trusted. After that one was crushed, I quit for a while. I asked again about a year later with the schedule I'm asking for now and was denied because we had just lost two clerks and I should try again when more were hired.

So, here I am, trying again. Hoping to get an earlier shift, but preparing to once again be disappointed.

Why am I asking for this schedule?

Well, the main reason is because I'd have an hour in the morning where I could wear headphones and dick around on the 'netstuff. Sure, if I needed to get caught up, I'd use that time to do actual work, but I've been siting here writing this for the last 30 minutes and I spent much time (like more than an hour) launching hedgehogs into space. My best time is three days.

Also, though, the governator wants to cut my pay by another 5%, which would drop my pay by something like 14.6% from where it was last year at this time and that would make my buying a car in November an even stupider move and one harder to pay for than it was then. AND if the budget doesn't get passed by the end of the month the state may drop pay to all it's employees to federal minimum wage, or $6.55 an hour. (That's about $1100 a month before taxes, and since taxes take away 1/3rd of my pay not that would leave me with about $733, and my rent is, oh, $750 a month no matter how much I get in my paycheck. I know this sort of stuff is scare tactics, but it's like that old cliché: "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.")

I figure that if I work until 3:30PM I'd be in a good position to get a second job, downtown here, in the evenings and on weekends. I could start at 4PM and work until 11PM, or whenever, to offset the probably loss in pay. Sure, I may not visit my family at Thanksgiving or Christmas so I can work, but at least I'd be getting by. (Besides I was already getting myself ready to miss Christmas because I may not be able to afford the new vehicle licensing fee increase. We'll see.) How well that'd work out, I don't know. Still, it'd be better than quitting, having no job, and moving in with my parents and hoping that I'd be able to find something up in Cowtown that's more than serving coffee or putting a prefabricated burger on a bun to people who just... well, I won't write anything overly nasty about them while I'm not working in that situation.

Now I sit an wait. I'm waiting for all of this bullshit to settle into place, but mostly I'm waiting to find out if my schedule will be changes so I can come in earlier, take a shorter lunch, and leave earlier each day I work here. And when the waiting for that is done, I'll wait for the next piece of shit to settle so I can make a move to prepare for the shit that'll come after that.

Cricket Christ, there sure is a lot of waiting for shit to happen in life, isn't there?

Any More and I'm Fucked

From the Sac Bee:

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger plans to propose a 5 percent across-the-board pay cut for state workers to save nearly $500 million in next year's budget and preserve cash, a spokesman said Thursday.

...

The move would save $470 million by cutting pay for 100,000 general fund employees, as well as $415 million by reducing salary for special fund workers. The latter move would not impact the state's general fund budget directly, but it would preserve cash as the state struggles to pay its bills.

Seems to me he wants to be able to dip into the special fund like the Federal dips into Social Security and like he thinks he should be able to take money from county and city governments.

To Amazon or Not to Amazon

This is cross-posted from What's Distracting Us?

Looks like Amazon is discriminating against GLBT material when it comes to their ranking lists.

Authors such as Jaci Burton, Maya Banks, Larissa Ione and Stephanie Tyler have reported that since being stripped of their sales rankings, their titles are no longer found in searches on Amazon.com. MetaWriter is also compiling a list of titles that have been stripped of their sales rank.

When pressed for a reason, Amazon.com’s customer service department told YA author Mark Probst:

In consideration of our entire customer base, we exclude “adult” material from appearing in some searches and best seller lists. Since these lists are generated using sales ranks, adult materials must also be excluded from that feature.

There's an ever growing list of books at Meta Writer of books not listed.

BeaukoupKevin wrote a letter to Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, on his blog.

Me, I'm seriously disappointed in Amazon, but I'm sure the paltry amount of money I spend there wouldn't even be missed. Still, I won't be ordering from them for a while.

EDIT 9:58AM: I read that Amazon is calling it a "glitch" in the system. Of course it's a "glitch" that's been around since February.

FUCK!

The question is: Is the DWC, which I work for, part of the General Fund?

If it it, odds are that I'm in the bottom 20% in the seniority. Happy Christmas to me and my co-workers!

"MY VETO!"

The beginning of this article:

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger risked further political isolation yesterday when he announced that he would veto a budget deal reached by Republicans and Democrats in the state legislature.

The deal aimed to put an end to an 80-day impasse over the state's $15.2bn (£8.4bn) budget gap. But Schwarzenegger rejected the compromise dubbing it a "tax increase with a smoke screen on it", and saying that it would push the problems into next year.

"It kicks that can down the alley," Schwarzenegger told a press conference in Sacramento. "I say enough is enough. Californians have been through this roller-coaster ride too many times and so this is why, when they send me a budget, I will veto it."

But legislators from both parties promised to oppose a veto and immediately return the budget to the governor's desk. Assembly leaders professed confidence that they could muster the two-thirds majority necessary to challenge the governor.

In turn Schwarzenegger said he would respond by sending "the hundreds of bills that sit on my desk back to legislators with my veto".

This month, I was supposed to get my yearly pay increase.