Bagel, With No Midgets

At work, one of the customers asked the girl at the register, "Why is it called a 'water bagel'?"

She said, "Oh, that's because they boil the bagel in water, instead of frying it in oil."

"You learn something new every day," said the customer as it, since most customers aren't really people, walked away.

How many of you have had a crispy bagel, that wasn't toasted or sitting out for a couple of days? I know I've never had a crispy bagel that I didn't make crispy.

Later, I was pestering another employee about animals she'd be willing to have as pets. She claims to like animals, but not in people homes. The only pets worth having, according to her, are dogs and turtles. All other reptiles suck. Birds are pointless. Horses are overrated. Cats are spoiled over grown rats. Rodents should be thrown into the ocean, since they should never be used for food. Spiders are creepy. And livestock should only be used to produce milk and meat.

Then she went on her break.

When she came back, she told the other person on the floor that she liked people. People are okay.

I was making a drink. After calling it out, I suddenly heard, "No. No I do not want a midget. No midgets." I fell to the floor laughing. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. I didn't even notice that I was in a milk puddle.

I'd still be there, on the floor, if I didn't hate the place so much.