Wednesday, August 04, 2004

I am Not Eton, Mai. = .i aM ,not EtoN maI

Sometimes I'm surprised at the madness that is me. While a friend was away, I used his blog just to be weird. Did it work? I don't know what everyone else thinks, but two months after the fact, I think so.

My bed is covered in stuff. Not just the usual pillows and blankets, but a stack of comics, a couple of books, the bookstore bag that I used to carry my summer school supplies, rented movies, a bag with large rolls for the polish sausages I bought for tomorrow, an empty over-sized envelope addressed to me, the shirts that were in the over-sized envelope, the not from my mom that came with the shirts (which I forgot to thank her for when I e-mailed this afternoon, better get on it), and my glasses. I know that to sleep in the bed, which is where I prefer to sleep, I need to clean the stuff off, but I don't want to. If the other comforter wasn't winter heavy, I think I'd just curl up on the floor and sleep, if I push the shorts away, there's plenty of room. I'm just lazy that way. Like women and the damn toilet seat!

That's right, I wrote it. Women think that men are lazy because we (well, most of us) like to leave the toilet seat up. And you know what? They're right, we are lazy when it come to the toilet seat. Most of us use that toilet seat about once a day, but we gotta pee way more than that. So it makes sense to leave the seat up, it's convenient. Women want the seat down because they want to be lazy too. I understand the argument that it's not fun to stumble into the bathroom in the middle of the night and sit on cold porcelain because she forgot to check that the seat was down. If that's the case, then women shouldn't get upset if, on occasion, in the middle of the night, the guy pisses on the seat on accident because he forgot to check to see if the seat was down. Men want to be lazy and never have to lift the seat. Women want to be lazy and never put the seat down. Me? I put the fucking lid down because I don't want to have the bowl staring at me while I'm brushing my teeth or drying off or something. And that makes me, in the toilet wars, the least lazy of all, so eat it all of you.

I've been trying to learn all the words to two songs, recently. The first is Adam Sandler's "Lunch Lady Land" because it makes me laugh. Unfortunately, when ever I sing it to myself I always skip to the "hoagies and grinders" part. I don't know why. The other song is "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) from The Beatles. One of my favorites that I don't think enough people pay attention to. It's not one that we have been told is great, so most people ignore it.

Okay, it's time to clean off the bed for the finishing of the book and then the sleeping.

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