I've been trying to figure out what I want. You know? I want to figure out something that I desire with all of my being. Like a married couple who can't have kids (or are having trouble getting pregnant) but more than anything want a little life to care for. That's the kind of desire I'd like to have.
Sure, there are things I'd like to have. I'd like to own a few acres of land of rolling hills, pines and oaks, and a creek or California river running through it. I'd like to own a house. so that every payment I make gets it closer to being mine, instead lining the pocket of some jackass with money while he won't even replace a screen that's been missing since before I moved in. I'd like... shit, I don't really know what else I'd like.
A long time ago, I wrote about how much I like Into the Woods. I didn't do a great job talking about the play. Hell, I left out my favorite lyric. There's this moment where Cinderella is sitting on the stairs with the Baker's Wife talking (really singing, but come on, it's a musical) and the Baker's Wife asks her about the prince and ends with, "Is he everything you've ever wanted?" and Cinderella answers, "Would I know? / ... / [H}ow can you know what you want / Till you get what you want / And you see if you like it?" The Baker's wife isn't sure and ponders it over while Cinderella says, "All I know is- / ... / What I want most of all- / ... / Is to know what I want." Which is something that I've been able to relate to for a long time.
Do you remember the last time you blew an eyelash off your finger, or saw a shooting star and made a wish? What did you wish for? The last time I made a wish, I wished to have a wish. It's the same wish I've made since I was eleven.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
WTF?
Thinking of things to write here, this week, has been really difficult and I don't know why. I had exactly the same number of things to write about last week, but it all seemed so much easier.
Well, fuck it.
How about the wedding that I'm going to on Saturday, huh? It's for a friend that I've known a long time. Like since second grade. We weren't friend friends back then, but I knew of him. The friend thing didn't happen until high school. He worked in China for a year a while ago.
His fiancée I don't know, at all. I think I've met her twice, maybe three times if she was working that day Wings and I crashed the 'Bucks they worked at. I couldn't remember her name until I got the invitation a few months ago. See, the thing is when I first heard about her it was from my old roommate. I asked her what she was like and one of the things he said was that she has a sort of Jennifer Tilly voice. Ever since that time, I've called her Jennifer in my head. Whether they have similar voices, I'll have to leave up to the experts.
In the world of sports, I have no idea what the hell's going on. In fact, I'd rather keep a mummified monkey cock than know. I think it's baseball season, but what does it matter? I'm not a gamblin' man. My knee cap, or life, doesn't hang in the balance if the local team doesn't beat the spread. In fact, no matter how the local team does, my life won't change one little bit. I won't even hear about it!
Same goes for Dancing with the Fucking Stars or whatever "reality" TV show is popular right now. I don't don't know, and I don't care. HA! Eat it you network bastards! I don't have to put up with your crap!
Well, fuck it.
How about the wedding that I'm going to on Saturday, huh? It's for a friend that I've known a long time. Like since second grade. We weren't friend friends back then, but I knew of him. The friend thing didn't happen until high school. He worked in China for a year a while ago.
His fiancée I don't know, at all. I think I've met her twice, maybe three times if she was working that day Wings and I crashed the 'Bucks they worked at. I couldn't remember her name until I got the invitation a few months ago. See, the thing is when I first heard about her it was from my old roommate. I asked her what she was like and one of the things he said was that she has a sort of Jennifer Tilly voice. Ever since that time, I've called her Jennifer in my head. Whether they have similar voices, I'll have to leave up to the experts.
In the world of sports, I have no idea what the hell's going on. In fact, I'd rather keep a mummified monkey cock than know. I think it's baseball season, but what does it matter? I'm not a gamblin' man. My knee cap, or life, doesn't hang in the balance if the local team doesn't beat the spread. In fact, no matter how the local team does, my life won't change one little bit. I won't even hear about it!
Same goes for Dancing with the Fucking Stars or whatever "reality" TV show is popular right now. I don't don't know, and I don't care. HA! Eat it you network bastards! I don't have to put up with your crap!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Reunion '07
I've pretty much decided not to go to the high school reunion. (I have one more feeler out there and if this person in going, I'll end up going.)
It seems that the few people worth seeing at such a thing who I'm in semi-regular contact with aren't going, so why should I?
Plus, I'm going to a wedding this weekend and some of those people will be there.
I'm glad there's one less trip to Cowtown in my future. It's not that I don't like going to Cowtown, it's just that it's a long trip (3.5 hours there, if traffic is good) that cost $60 in gas money each time. And it'll be freaking hot there in July.
It seems that the few people worth seeing at such a thing who I'm in semi-regular contact with aren't going, so why should I?
Plus, I'm going to a wedding this weekend and some of those people will be there.
I'm glad there's one less trip to Cowtown in my future. It's not that I don't like going to Cowtown, it's just that it's a long trip (3.5 hours there, if traffic is good) that cost $60 in gas money each time. And it'll be freaking hot there in July.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Misleading Topic
It's the end of my work day, again.
Were things accomplished?
I suppose it depends on what you mean by "things." Peace still hasn't been established in the Mid East. The whole Pakistan mess just keeps getting worse and there's really no end in sight unless someone is going to commit genocide and kill all the human beings in the Mid East. "Things" related to work were accomplished. Boxes are finished and so of the lists, now it's all up to the nuts in charge to decide when they get out of here, but that's out of my hands.
How was the day, in general?
Warm. It's probably in the mid-eighties. Right around the range where I'd rather be wearing shorts than pants, but not so hot that my legs are on fire as soon as I step outside. My feet, however, would much rather be in sandals than shoes. Darn me and my attempt to look semi-professional at work!
Doing anything interesting?
Not really. I have to run to the store after work; there are things to be picked up. And I plan on seeing Pirates of the Caribbean tonight. It'll only cost five bucks. Not bad. And it seems like a not too horrible way to use up three hours of my life. Also, it can't be any worse than the second movie, right? At least Geoffrey Rush is in this one more than 60 seconds and he'll keep me entertained, right?
Anything else?
I found a flea on me here at work. If a flea shits, I crushed the shit out of it. I don't know if it came with me from my apartment or if I got it here, but I'm getting kind of paranoid. Every time there's an itch or a tingle on my skin I freak out thinking there's another one on me. So far there hasn't. Hopefully it was an isolated incident and I got it from that dog that was in the lobby of the building at lunch. I hope it was gotten here. Last summer there were fleas all over the place where I, and the other people who live in my building, park our cars. Everyday, after work, I'd strip down, hop in the shower, turn on the water, and sit in the stream looking over my body, mostly my legs, to get rid of the little blood suckers. It didn't always work.
Dear Monkey Christ, I hope that's it.
It is, right after I thank Anonymous for leaving me my first spam comment. Thank you. I feel like I've really made it as a blogger.
Were things accomplished?
I suppose it depends on what you mean by "things." Peace still hasn't been established in the Mid East. The whole Pakistan mess just keeps getting worse and there's really no end in sight unless someone is going to commit genocide and kill all the human beings in the Mid East. "Things" related to work were accomplished. Boxes are finished and so of the lists, now it's all up to the nuts in charge to decide when they get out of here, but that's out of my hands.
How was the day, in general?
Warm. It's probably in the mid-eighties. Right around the range where I'd rather be wearing shorts than pants, but not so hot that my legs are on fire as soon as I step outside. My feet, however, would much rather be in sandals than shoes. Darn me and my attempt to look semi-professional at work!
Doing anything interesting?
Not really. I have to run to the store after work; there are things to be picked up. And I plan on seeing Pirates of the Caribbean tonight. It'll only cost five bucks. Not bad. And it seems like a not too horrible way to use up three hours of my life. Also, it can't be any worse than the second movie, right? At least Geoffrey Rush is in this one more than 60 seconds and he'll keep me entertained, right?
Anything else?
I found a flea on me here at work. If a flea shits, I crushed the shit out of it. I don't know if it came with me from my apartment or if I got it here, but I'm getting kind of paranoid. Every time there's an itch or a tingle on my skin I freak out thinking there's another one on me. So far there hasn't. Hopefully it was an isolated incident and I got it from that dog that was in the lobby of the building at lunch. I hope it was gotten here. Last summer there were fleas all over the place where I, and the other people who live in my building, park our cars. Everyday, after work, I'd strip down, hop in the shower, turn on the water, and sit in the stream looking over my body, mostly my legs, to get rid of the little blood suckers. It didn't always work.
Dear Monkey Christ, I hope that's it.
It is, right after I thank Anonymous for leaving me my first spam comment. Thank you. I feel like I've really made it as a blogger.
Rating!
This rating is just having the thing look at the front page of my blog. They say it's PG "was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* assholes (2x)
* hell (1x)"
However, if I ask them to look at my blog for all of 2007, so far, I get:
This one "was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* dead (7x)
* assholes (5x)
* hell (4x)
* fuck (3x)
* shit (2x)
* hells (1x)"
And just like the MPAA, the context in which these words were used doesn't matter at all.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Ashamed
There are moments when I'm really ashamed to be working with these people. Like right now.
One of the things we handle here are commutations. (Not for prison sentences, which is probably where most people know that word from, but for money.)
See, what happens in the world is that people get injured at work and, sometimes, the employer's insurance company doesn't think they should pay anything because what if it didn't really happen at work or only part of the injury happened because of the job the person does. That's where this place comes in. Medical records and legal stuff and depositions come in and then a judge tries to help facilitate an agreement between the insurance company and an injured worker that, hopefully, helps to pay for any medical bills the injured worker has accumulated in the, quite probably, years since the injury.
If things go well, the case is settled, quickly, on a Stipulations with Request for Award or a Compromise and Release. The C&R give people a lump sum of money, less any outstanding liens and attorney's fees. The Stip give the person payments in monthly lumps for a certain amount of time and offers the promise of paying for future medical bills that are related to the injury, less any outstanding liens and attorney's fees.
If it doesn't go well, it's a mess.
Anyway, when a person settles their case on a Stip, but are in dire need of money, hopefully for a reason that's related to the injury and not because the person is an asshole who owes $50 thousand in credit card debt, they send in a Request for Commutation from the Far End of the Award. That means the injured worker wants a portion of the money owed them now so they can pay off bills now and their monthly payments will be shortened by that amount. The injured work, though, has to prove that he or she is in need. This usually means there are copies of phone bills, electric bills, credit card bills, and other such things.
Which brings me to why I'm ashamed of the people I work with. TMSV got a Commutation in her work this afternoon. Attached was the copy of the person's credit card statement. TMSV had never seen this before and she got excited. She proceeded to read to all of us the person's APR (which is really, really low, by the way), the finance charges, the amount of cash advances, the amount owed, and some of the places the card was used. BBNG and GICS started laughing and wanted to know more. I didn't. And then the three of them started to discuss some of the places the card has been.
I have to admit that although I'm all for trying to figure out how this person go such a low APR, none of this was any of our business. It's not our job to read through every part of the document. It's not our job to critique the person based on the documentation we get. And it's certainly not our job to laugh at the stupidity of one of the people we're supposed to be helping.
That said, I sometimes do read and laugh, but I never read it to the rest of the people working here or even pass it around for a laugh.
I'm sure this sort of thing happens almost anywhere, but, seriously, whatever happened to respecting a person's privacy?
One of the things we handle here are commutations. (Not for prison sentences, which is probably where most people know that word from, but for money.)
See, what happens in the world is that people get injured at work and, sometimes, the employer's insurance company doesn't think they should pay anything because what if it didn't really happen at work or only part of the injury happened because of the job the person does. That's where this place comes in. Medical records and legal stuff and depositions come in and then a judge tries to help facilitate an agreement between the insurance company and an injured worker that, hopefully, helps to pay for any medical bills the injured worker has accumulated in the, quite probably, years since the injury.
If things go well, the case is settled, quickly, on a Stipulations with Request for Award or a Compromise and Release. The C&R give people a lump sum of money, less any outstanding liens and attorney's fees. The Stip give the person payments in monthly lumps for a certain amount of time and offers the promise of paying for future medical bills that are related to the injury, less any outstanding liens and attorney's fees.
If it doesn't go well, it's a mess.
Anyway, when a person settles their case on a Stip, but are in dire need of money, hopefully for a reason that's related to the injury and not because the person is an asshole who owes $50 thousand in credit card debt, they send in a Request for Commutation from the Far End of the Award. That means the injured worker wants a portion of the money owed them now so they can pay off bills now and their monthly payments will be shortened by that amount. The injured work, though, has to prove that he or she is in need. This usually means there are copies of phone bills, electric bills, credit card bills, and other such things.
Which brings me to why I'm ashamed of the people I work with. TMSV got a Commutation in her work this afternoon. Attached was the copy of the person's credit card statement. TMSV had never seen this before and she got excited. She proceeded to read to all of us the person's APR (which is really, really low, by the way), the finance charges, the amount of cash advances, the amount owed, and some of the places the card was used. BBNG and GICS started laughing and wanted to know more. I didn't. And then the three of them started to discuss some of the places the card has been.
I have to admit that although I'm all for trying to figure out how this person go such a low APR, none of this was any of our business. It's not our job to read through every part of the document. It's not our job to critique the person based on the documentation we get. And it's certainly not our job to laugh at the stupidity of one of the people we're supposed to be helping.
That said, I sometimes do read and laugh, but I never read it to the rest of the people working here or even pass it around for a laugh.
I'm sure this sort of thing happens almost anywhere, but, seriously, whatever happened to respecting a person's privacy?
Friday, June 22, 2007
Gentle Sheep
Been boxing files all day today. Okay, I wasn't boxing files while I was putting boxes together, or while I was on my lunch break, or while I was moving the boxes from near the shelves to the place where they will rest for a while, but most of my time today has been spent putting files in boxes.
One of the best things about boxing the files is that I can listen to myPod while doing it. I don't have to pretend to be paying attention to anything other than the files and the boxes. It's really nice.
For the last hour, I played only one song, over and over again. It was "Gentle Sheep" by The Ditty Bops. It's just such a great song. Sort of happy, sort of not. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I like it a lot. (I remember being pointed to a video of theirs because it was suggested for people who like girls who look like Louise Brooks. I'm surely one of those people.)
In other news, I don't think there is other news.
Funny, it seems like I should add the word "yet" to the end of that last sentence because that's what's done right. The only problem is that it would be sort of like lying. Since I don't expect there to be any other of news, why should I add "yet"?
Okay, time to pack up. Hope your weekend is nice.
One of the best things about boxing the files is that I can listen to myPod while doing it. I don't have to pretend to be paying attention to anything other than the files and the boxes. It's really nice.
For the last hour, I played only one song, over and over again. It was "Gentle Sheep" by The Ditty Bops. It's just such a great song. Sort of happy, sort of not. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I like it a lot. (I remember being pointed to a video of theirs because it was suggested for people who like girls who look like Louise Brooks. I'm surely one of those people.)
In other news, I don't think there is other news.
Funny, it seems like I should add the word "yet" to the end of that last sentence because that's what's done right. The only problem is that it would be sort of like lying. Since I don't expect there to be any other of news, why should I add "yet"?
Okay, time to pack up. Hope your weekend is nice.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Nice, for the Valley
I do not look forward to the drive to Cowtown tonight. The cassette player in the car doesn't like the tape adapter (I'm afraid to try it on one of the real cassettes I have) and squeals when I put it in. That means no listening to myPod. The NPR station I listen to around here is only good for about an hour worth of the drive and it fades in and out constantly as the hills roll. The NPR station that can be heard in Cowtown will fade in around that time, but at seven it starts to play jazz. Jazz is not that good for me. And from there, it's scan the frequencies hoping that there will be something worth listening too, and if not that then at least something familiar I can sing along with.
Hopefully, though, the valley's not too hot tonight. According to the Google weather thingy it's about 88 now, which isn't bad, for the valley, and the highs should be nearing their zenith about now. Right?
And then there's the interview tomorrow. I'm really nervous about this one and not even thinking about a sweet chocolate Jesus makes me feel better. Third time's supposed to be the charm, right? What does that make the fourth time? The sightly pathetic, slightly desperate time?
*sigh*
I know. I know. Calm down. Everything will be okay. Other platitude.
I'll do an okay to spectacular job at the interview tomorrow. I just wish I had another job elsewhere so I could stop doing these things.
Hopefully, though, the valley's not too hot tonight. According to the Google weather thingy it's about 88 now, which isn't bad, for the valley, and the highs should be nearing their zenith about now. Right?
And then there's the interview tomorrow. I'm really nervous about this one and not even thinking about a sweet chocolate Jesus makes me feel better. Third time's supposed to be the charm, right? What does that make the fourth time? The sightly pathetic, slightly desperate time?
*sigh*
I know. I know. Calm down. Everything will be okay. Other platitude.
I'll do an okay to spectacular job at the interview tomorrow. I just wish I had another job elsewhere so I could stop doing these things.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Streaming Pile of...
With no real desire to do anything for the last hour of work today, I sit down at the computer to post something to my blog. The problem is that even though I feel the desire to write, I don't know what to write about.
I suppose I could write about my weekend, but since my dad and I are the only people I know who were really excited about me going to a Weird Al concert, there doesn't seem to be much reason to write about that, now does there. Other than that, and the long drive there and back, my weekend was a lot like every other weekend. I made food. I watched DVDs. I washed dishes. I gave parts of the bathroom a scrub. I thought about vacuuming, but decided that I didn't want to push the piles of things around, so there was no vacuuming done.
And I break away from writing for a while. I copy and and paste all of the "Punks" stories that Queenie has written. A couple of weeks ago, I went through her entire blog to pull up all the "Punks" links so I could move them into a .txt file and save them for myself. I have another reason for saving the links, though, but I don't want to get into it now. Hopefully I'll be better able to explain in a couple of weeks. No promises, though. Sometimes, I like to pretend that one of the "Punks" stories was written more for me than just because Minnie wanted out of Queenie's head. Whether it was or not doesn't really matter, I just like to think that sometimes. The "Punks" are often frightening, but I love them all the same.
Now I'm at a loss again. I keep trying to think of something vital to write about, but, at the moment, I have no righteous indignation that needs to be freed. Okay, maybe I have some aimed at the Green Arrow/Black Canary wedding and more to say about John Stewart, but not now. Not here.
For a little while, I sit and think about Wednesday. See, I have another interview in Cowtown. This is my fourth, I think. The second one this month. I mostly just want to get away from this job and get somewhere that there's potential. The place in Cowtown is the only place that's given me an interview since I started on the whole I-want-the-fuck-out-of-here kick I've been on since April. I hope they get over whatever bullshit they have there and hire me. I need out.
I need out because the guy who sits across from me is a snitch. If someone doesn't hop out of his or her seat fast enough, he writes an e-mail to the lead clerk about it. If the mail isn't delivered early enough, he writes the PJ about it. If paychecks accidentally get delivered to the wrong office in this building, he writes to someone in the head office. He's doing this because his ability to work is being scrutinized. When he worked in a way out of the way part of the office, he ignored his work. He was way, way behind on everything. He tried to blame other people, but his work wasn't split between all the clerks and we weren't supposed to do the stuff that he was doing, so it wasn't our fault that when he went on family leave in April that we got piles of work from his desk that had been stamped in February. Now that he's out here with everyone else, the powers above want to make sure he's doing his work in a timely manner. He wants to get them off his back by telling them about the time I ignored a person at the counter because I was making boxes so I could clear shelf space for new files while he sat at his desk glancing between me and the person at the counter.
I also need out of here because a job that would be like a promotion has actually come up, but I can't apply for it. I can't apply for it because I would be working for one of the biggest asshole morons I've ever met in my life. It's incompetent people like this guy who make everyone assume people who work for the government are idiots who don't know how to do their job. I have enough problems knowing that I share the same air this guy breaths, I don't think I could handle him being my boss.
In between tapping out words, I started reading things on the Apple iPhone. It looks interesting. All touch screeny and stuff. It's going to be expensive, though. The only reason I'm interested is because after I move to where ever I end up being, I'm probably going to get a mobile phone and just keep that as my phone number for the rest of my life. It's what one of my brothers is doing. He got his phone when he was living in Santa Cruz and has kept that number through his move to Berkeley and Oakland, then to Baltimore, and now in Lima. I don't want a really fancy phone, but I'd like one that take good picture, since I don't have a digital camera either. I've already come up with some rules for how I'll use the phone because I don't want to turn into one of those people. You know the type. They're speaking with you and laughing with you, but when the phone rings they tell you to shut up and then wander off to talk to someone else only to come back to tell you that their sister's daughter was at a petting zoo and just touched a duck. Yeah, I don't want to be one of those people who look at their phone every minute to see if someone called or to see if they got an e-mail because, even when it isn't, it's like they just don't want to be around me or other people, just their damn phone.
Okay, work is soon to come to an end. Tonight, I watch my DVDs of The Office (American version), again. I don't know what's for dinner. I could say, "Beef, it's what's for dinner!" but I'd be lying. I don't have any beef at my apartment.
I suppose I could write about my weekend, but since my dad and I are the only people I know who were really excited about me going to a Weird Al concert, there doesn't seem to be much reason to write about that, now does there. Other than that, and the long drive there and back, my weekend was a lot like every other weekend. I made food. I watched DVDs. I washed dishes. I gave parts of the bathroom a scrub. I thought about vacuuming, but decided that I didn't want to push the piles of things around, so there was no vacuuming done.
And I break away from writing for a while. I copy and and paste all of the "Punks" stories that Queenie has written. A couple of weeks ago, I went through her entire blog to pull up all the "Punks" links so I could move them into a .txt file and save them for myself. I have another reason for saving the links, though, but I don't want to get into it now. Hopefully I'll be better able to explain in a couple of weeks. No promises, though. Sometimes, I like to pretend that one of the "Punks" stories was written more for me than just because Minnie wanted out of Queenie's head. Whether it was or not doesn't really matter, I just like to think that sometimes. The "Punks" are often frightening, but I love them all the same.
Now I'm at a loss again. I keep trying to think of something vital to write about, but, at the moment, I have no righteous indignation that needs to be freed. Okay, maybe I have some aimed at the Green Arrow/Black Canary wedding and more to say about John Stewart, but not now. Not here.
For a little while, I sit and think about Wednesday. See, I have another interview in Cowtown. This is my fourth, I think. The second one this month. I mostly just want to get away from this job and get somewhere that there's potential. The place in Cowtown is the only place that's given me an interview since I started on the whole I-want-the-fuck-out-of-here kick I've been on since April. I hope they get over whatever bullshit they have there and hire me. I need out.
I need out because the guy who sits across from me is a snitch. If someone doesn't hop out of his or her seat fast enough, he writes an e-mail to the lead clerk about it. If the mail isn't delivered early enough, he writes the PJ about it. If paychecks accidentally get delivered to the wrong office in this building, he writes to someone in the head office. He's doing this because his ability to work is being scrutinized. When he worked in a way out of the way part of the office, he ignored his work. He was way, way behind on everything. He tried to blame other people, but his work wasn't split between all the clerks and we weren't supposed to do the stuff that he was doing, so it wasn't our fault that when he went on family leave in April that we got piles of work from his desk that had been stamped in February. Now that he's out here with everyone else, the powers above want to make sure he's doing his work in a timely manner. He wants to get them off his back by telling them about the time I ignored a person at the counter because I was making boxes so I could clear shelf space for new files while he sat at his desk glancing between me and the person at the counter.
I also need out of here because a job that would be like a promotion has actually come up, but I can't apply for it. I can't apply for it because I would be working for one of the biggest asshole morons I've ever met in my life. It's incompetent people like this guy who make everyone assume people who work for the government are idiots who don't know how to do their job. I have enough problems knowing that I share the same air this guy breaths, I don't think I could handle him being my boss.
In between tapping out words, I started reading things on the Apple iPhone. It looks interesting. All touch screeny and stuff. It's going to be expensive, though. The only reason I'm interested is because after I move to where ever I end up being, I'm probably going to get a mobile phone and just keep that as my phone number for the rest of my life. It's what one of my brothers is doing. He got his phone when he was living in Santa Cruz and has kept that number through his move to Berkeley and Oakland, then to Baltimore, and now in Lima. I don't want a really fancy phone, but I'd like one that take good picture, since I don't have a digital camera either. I've already come up with some rules for how I'll use the phone because I don't want to turn into one of those people. You know the type. They're speaking with you and laughing with you, but when the phone rings they tell you to shut up and then wander off to talk to someone else only to come back to tell you that their sister's daughter was at a petting zoo and just touched a duck. Yeah, I don't want to be one of those people who look at their phone every minute to see if someone called or to see if they got an e-mail because, even when it isn't, it's like they just don't want to be around me or other people, just their damn phone.
Okay, work is soon to come to an end. Tonight, I watch my DVDs of The Office (American version), again. I don't know what's for dinner. I could say, "Beef, it's what's for dinner!" but I'd be lying. I don't have any beef at my apartment.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Or Not To Go
So, I got an invitation to my high school reunion the other day. The original RSVP date, May 21, had been crossed out and June 30 had been written in. (That was nice, seeing how they've yet to invent a way for me to mail things back in time.) The reunion is in July.
The more I think about it, the less I want to go. It's supposed to be some kind of fancy cocktail party thing and I'm not a fan of things like that. And it's going to be held at a golf course where there are no trees and it'll be blindingly hot. I'd be more comfortable if it was a barbecue at the Lyon's Club, or something.
And now I feel guilty for even suggesting that I don't want to go to something where I'll be uncomfortable in just about every way I can think.
In happier news, in 26.25 hours I'll be at a "Weird" Al concert. That should be fun.
The more I think about it, the less I want to go. It's supposed to be some kind of fancy cocktail party thing and I'm not a fan of things like that. And it's going to be held at a golf course where there are no trees and it'll be blindingly hot. I'd be more comfortable if it was a barbecue at the Lyon's Club, or something.
And now I feel guilty for even suggesting that I don't want to go to something where I'll be uncomfortable in just about every way I can think.
In happier news, in 26.25 hours I'll be at a "Weird" Al concert. That should be fun.
Green Arrow #75
Two things:
1. It really sucked having the Justice League save the day. It was like saying that Green Arrow and his group aren't good enough.
2. Black Canary had better say no. If she doesn't, she must be some kind of masochist.
1. It really sucked having the Justice League save the day. It was like saying that Green Arrow and his group aren't good enough.
2. Black Canary had better say no. If she doesn't, she must be some kind of masochist.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Doubting
Have you ever read something (or seen something or heard something) that isn't about you, but after reading it (or seeing or hearing) you revaluate who you are and it seems to confirm many of the worst things you've ever thought about yourself and what you think people think of you?
Well, it happened to me this morning and it's terrible.
I don't want to get specific because all that would happen is nothing. People who are (or who are just trying to be) nice would tell me I'm not what I think I am. The person who wrote the thing and the people involved in the story would insist that nothing written was about me, which it wasn't.
Well, it happened to me this morning and it's terrible.
I don't want to get specific because all that would happen is nothing. People who are (or who are just trying to be) nice would tell me I'm not what I think I am. The person who wrote the thing and the people involved in the story would insist that nothing written was about me, which it wasn't.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Occasional Narcissist
Being the occasional narcissist that I am, I decided to go back and see what I was thinking a year ago.
It's funny, my 365 days ago is how I felt yesterday.
I also found something that may be my best piece of writing, and if not the best, it's among them.
Other highlights, in bottom of page to top of page order:
Ruined for Everybody: X-Men: The Last Stand
Talkin' Cars
A Moment...
None of that's important, but I didn't want to do my work anymore today and sometimes it's fun to remember times past.
It's funny, my 365 days ago is how I felt yesterday.
I also found something that may be my best piece of writing, and if not the best, it's among them.
Other highlights, in bottom of page to top of page order:
Ruined for Everybody: X-Men: The Last Stand
Talkin' Cars
A Moment...
None of that's important, but I didn't want to do my work anymore today and sometimes it's fun to remember times past.
Not Hired
So, I did not get the job I interviewed for on the first.
The guy who I would have worked directly under just called and told me that he went with someone else.
It was nice that he called.
He told me that he went with someone a bit more experienced, but he liked my attitude.
He told me that he needed someone who could get started right away and didn't need to be trained.
He told me to be sure to put in applications for the Office Assistant jobs because I'd made a good impression on one of the supervisors in the interview.
He said he hoped to see me out there in the future.
I have mixed feelings about the whole conversation.
The guy who I would have worked directly under just called and told me that he went with someone else.
It was nice that he called.
He told me that he went with someone a bit more experienced, but he liked my attitude.
He told me that he needed someone who could get started right away and didn't need to be trained.
He told me to be sure to put in applications for the Office Assistant jobs because I'd made a good impression on one of the supervisors in the interview.
He said he hoped to see me out there in the future.
I have mixed feelings about the whole conversation.
John Stewart, We Hardly Know You
Ragnell the Foul wrote, the other day, wanting to know who John Stewart is. (This is the Green Lantern, not the comedian or the Earl of Mar.)
Here's most of my response:
My brother was the Green Lantern fan, not me. So, when he decided not to buy Green Lantern: Mosaic, there wasn't much I could do about it. (We were both on very limited budgets.) He did, however, buy a few issues and there's one that convinced me that John Stewart is one of the greatest characters yet to come out of the DCU.
In the issue, Hal Jordan (considered by too many people out there to be the "greatest" Green Lantern) confronts John about what's happening to the humans (Hal sort of ignores that there are about a dozen other species there, too) on Mosaic World. Hal's especially concerned with a woman named Rose, who Hal had (or nearly had, I can't remember) a fling with back in the days he was trying to "find himself" before the Guardians came back, but now she's with John and Hal doesn't like it. He want's to take her back to Earth. John wants to talk with Hal over coffee. They get the coffee and Hal tells John he's gone nuts (which isn't a leap, since John had essentially been raped by the insane Guardian who created Mosaic World). John says he's fine and Hal decides to do a mind scan. John blocks it. Hal picks a fight. So, they fight. I think it was a mental thing. Hal splits himself into dozens of identical copies and advances on John. John splits himself into dozens of different aspects of himself. Where Hal revels in the order and unity, John thrives on knowing that he's more than just one thing. John's a little kid. He's a gang banger. He's a woman. He's a giant fat man (who sounds like Louis Armstrong to me, for some reason). He's a pimp. He's a cop. He's hundreds of different things all in one body. And John's variety beats Hal's uniformity.
(The issue's spectacular. It's science fiction and action and psychology in 22 pages of pictures and word. I wish I owned it. I wish I swiped it from my brother's collection. I didn't though. I guess I'll have to keep looking at shops that are old enough to have back issues from the early 90s.)
I don't follow the newest volume of Green Lantern religiously, but I'll buy it for certain characters. (So far, I bought the one with Batman, the ones with the Cyborg Superman (my favorite Green Lantern villain), the ones where the new Global Guardians appeared. I'll probably buy the Sinestro Corps issues, too.) John appeared in one issue, for about eight panels and that's all I know about it. And what was he doing? He had gone undercover to protect Hal. (Who put a price on Hal's head? How about every women he screwed and then never called the next day? So, that's, what, hundreds of people on Earth and probably thousands more spread across the galaxy.) Then what?
Where's John?
Has he made any appearances since then?
Not that I know of.
Can I give a suggestion to DC about what John should be doing?
How about having him leading a team of Lanterns who are helping to rebuild the civilizations that were hurt during the Rann/Thanagar war? I mean, the Green Lantern Corps does more than just police, right? After being gone for so long, it seems to me that the Corps could use some good will in the galaxy. And then... Well, I don't want to write too much more about what I think should happen, but I know that there's plenty of conflict to be had out there for John and his team.
And I thought that I wrote too much for Ragnell's blog. Jeez. I promise not to write about comic stuff tomorrow, okay?
Here's most of my response:
John Stewart is a builder.Honestly, my knowledge of John Stewart isn't that great, compared too many people out there. What I wrote about him is, I think, more the way I want him to be in the comics than he actually is. I know him from his appearances in the early issues of Green Lantern vol. 3, his short stint in the JLA, and the few issues of Green Lantern: Mosaic my brother bought.
He became an architect because he wanted to build things. He's not satisfied with just designing buildings, though, he likes to get in and actually be part of the building process. He likes to know that he helped to put the forms together so the foundation could be laid. He likes to be able to point to a wall and say that he put the drywall up. And he likes to visit the places he designed and help build to see them being used by people. He designs offices and superhero headquarters, but his real love is designing something families will live in, whether it's a house or an apartment building, or a tenement.
After Hal "quit" the Corps, John saw the Corps as a place to build a brotherhood, so to speak. These people weren't quite a family, but they were all united with a cause of protecting the galaxy. Here were, at the time, 3600 people, each a member of different species, who could work together toward a common goal. This was something that John was always looking for.
Katma Tui was his chance to build a family, the thing he values more than anything else. With her, John could bring new life into the universe and teach that life to value all other life and to bring people together because individuals working as a community are much stronger than individuals working toward their own goals.
The Mosaic World was where John's values were really put to the test. He built a strong community out of groups whose differences were far more than just skin deep as he rebuilt himself. He proved that he can't allow himself to quit.
John's the type of man who can't just do something and then move on. He has to see the consequences of his actions and then attempt to fix them, which was why the death of his wife and the destruction of Fatality's home world hit him so hard; he blamed himself and he couldn't see a way to correct his mistakes. He's the kind of man who knows that upkeep is as important as the initial building.
My brother was the Green Lantern fan, not me. So, when he decided not to buy Green Lantern: Mosaic, there wasn't much I could do about it. (We were both on very limited budgets.) He did, however, buy a few issues and there's one that convinced me that John Stewart is one of the greatest characters yet to come out of the DCU.
In the issue, Hal Jordan (considered by too many people out there to be the "greatest" Green Lantern) confronts John about what's happening to the humans (Hal sort of ignores that there are about a dozen other species there, too) on Mosaic World. Hal's especially concerned with a woman named Rose, who Hal had (or nearly had, I can't remember) a fling with back in the days he was trying to "find himself" before the Guardians came back, but now she's with John and Hal doesn't like it. He want's to take her back to Earth. John wants to talk with Hal over coffee. They get the coffee and Hal tells John he's gone nuts (which isn't a leap, since John had essentially been raped by the insane Guardian who created Mosaic World). John says he's fine and Hal decides to do a mind scan. John blocks it. Hal picks a fight. So, they fight. I think it was a mental thing. Hal splits himself into dozens of identical copies and advances on John. John splits himself into dozens of different aspects of himself. Where Hal revels in the order and unity, John thrives on knowing that he's more than just one thing. John's a little kid. He's a gang banger. He's a woman. He's a giant fat man (who sounds like Louis Armstrong to me, for some reason). He's a pimp. He's a cop. He's hundreds of different things all in one body. And John's variety beats Hal's uniformity.
(The issue's spectacular. It's science fiction and action and psychology in 22 pages of pictures and word. I wish I owned it. I wish I swiped it from my brother's collection. I didn't though. I guess I'll have to keep looking at shops that are old enough to have back issues from the early 90s.)
I don't follow the newest volume of Green Lantern religiously, but I'll buy it for certain characters. (So far, I bought the one with Batman, the ones with the Cyborg Superman (my favorite Green Lantern villain), the ones where the new Global Guardians appeared. I'll probably buy the Sinestro Corps issues, too.) John appeared in one issue, for about eight panels and that's all I know about it. And what was he doing? He had gone undercover to protect Hal. (Who put a price on Hal's head? How about every women he screwed and then never called the next day? So, that's, what, hundreds of people on Earth and probably thousands more spread across the galaxy.) Then what?
Where's John?
Has he made any appearances since then?
Not that I know of.
Can I give a suggestion to DC about what John should be doing?
How about having him leading a team of Lanterns who are helping to rebuild the civilizations that were hurt during the Rann/Thanagar war? I mean, the Green Lantern Corps does more than just police, right? After being gone for so long, it seems to me that the Corps could use some good will in the galaxy. And then... Well, I don't want to write too much more about what I think should happen, but I know that there's plenty of conflict to be had out there for John and his team.
And I thought that I wrote too much for Ragnell's blog. Jeez. I promise not to write about comic stuff tomorrow, okay?
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Questions
When does a guy go from being single to being a bachelor?
Does it have to do with how old he is?
Is he automatically a "confirmed" bachelor? Or is that only if he's even older? Or is it just '50s slang meaning homosexual?
Does being a bachelor mean the guy has to date a lot?
Does it mean he has money?
Is it better to be a bachelor than to be single?
Which suggest a better person?
Does it have to do with how old he is?
Is he automatically a "confirmed" bachelor? Or is that only if he's even older? Or is it just '50s slang meaning homosexual?
Does being a bachelor mean the guy has to date a lot?
Does it mean he has money?
Is it better to be a bachelor than to be single?
Which suggest a better person?
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Comicy
I'm feeling comicy this afternoon, so those of you who don't care, feel free to click off.
At the comic shop, here in town, I don't have much of a pull list. I keep a few things on there to mostly make sure I get the 10% discount and when I'm feeling on the very pathetic side, it's nice to have someone outside of work call me by my name, it's like I've made a friend in this town. Anyway, I pick up what's in my pull file, Countdown (Which has been a big disappointment. One of the reasons for me buying this comic, Kyle Raynor, hasn't even appeared yet. Darkseid has only appeared once, so far. And there's been way too much Jason Todd. That character was way more important when he was dead. There was no reason for bringing him back except to annoy me. So, what I want to say to Paul Dini and the rest of the crew on Countdown is to bring Darkseid back, use Jimmy Olsen more, ditch Jason Todd, and hurry up with the Giffen layouts.), this week, and then peruse the rest of the new things.
I don't read Previews. I don't go through the monthly solicits for the big two at Newsarama every time they come out. (I will check them when one of the comics blogs I read mentions a cover, but it's not a regular monthly thing for me like it is for so many other comics people on the 'net, though.) Hell, I even avoid reading the Grumpy Old Fan columns on Blog@Newsarama that focus on the solicits which, since Amateur Art Appreciation hasn't been around for a while, is probably my favorite column on Blog@. I like to be surprised when I look. And this week was a good week to be surprised.
The first happy surprise was the latest issue of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 was there. Reading these has been a lot of fun, especially since I finished watching the entire series a couple of weeks ago. The one thing that gets me is that Joss Whedon used Jane Espenson's spin-off idea by bringing back Warren (I remember an interview I saw, or read, as Buffy was working its way off the air where Ms. Espenson was asked if she was asked about doing a Buffy spin-off and she said, "I pitched one idea to Joss. I went in there and said, 'We all know Warren is dead, but what if he wasn't?'" (I'm paraphrasing, there. I can't find a link. And when I Googled most of the Espenson spin-off rumors are around her and Battlestar Galactica.)), although much creepier, since he still doesn't have any skin and Amy's in love with him, which is actually creepier than the no skin thing. Looking forward to the next issue. I wonder which Buffy look-alike it'll be about. Maybe all three?
The next happy surprise was the newest Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane. This book is so wonderful. Every time I read it, I just get the warm fuzzies. And I'm proud to admit that I've been there since the first issue of the first mini, but I am missing some of the earlier issues of this latest series. After two minis, I was confused for a while. For some reason, this series makes me think of Everwood, which is a very good thing. I wish that Marvel would announce what's going to happen when they run out of McKeever written issues. Will DC let him continue? Will Marvel try it with someone else writing? Will it be cancelled for good? Will there ever be another letter column? Anyone?
The ruler of the comics kingdom this week, to me, has got to be Gail Simone. I saw two comics by her, Birds of Prey and Welcome to Tranquility, and I snagged them before I even knew what the cover images were.
I have to admit, although I bought Birds of Prey 100, I never really thought about the comic much. It always struck me as a sort of Batman spin-off staring women, but really written for boys. Sure, I'd read and heard good things about it, but I'm not much of a Bat-fan, so I didn't care much. And then I read about a favorite Giffen/DeMatteis era character showing up in the book, and I had to buy it. It was fun. Eventually, there was Barda beating the crap out of Knockout and that was even better. The only thing that would have improved this issue is if Ice had been asked not only about what Guy would have thought about her behavior, but what Bea would have thought about it because she was just as much of a balancing influence on Bea as she was on Guy, maybe even more so.
The other Simone book, Welcome to Tranquility, is such a hoot. It's one of the best love letters to superhero comics out there. It's about a town where retired superheroes have moved with their, often super powered, families and how the human sheriff and her human deputies try to keep the peace. Five reasons I enjoy it so much: 1. A super speedster with a cane. 2. Emoticon, the grandson of The Typist, has the coolest mask, ever. 3. The Pink Bunny back-up story was a hoot. 4. Minxy Minerva and her solid gold plane. And 5. Zeke and his wonderfully horrible puns about death and other semi-inappropriate things. When I started reading the book, I bought the first five at the same time because I'd been poking around the book since it was released, but I always had plenty in my hands, and then one week I only got a copy of 52 in my file and money burning a hole in my pocket and I'm happy to report that it was worth every penny. If you're not already buying it, you should.
Okay, that's it for now.
If you haven't already, move along.
At the comic shop, here in town, I don't have much of a pull list. I keep a few things on there to mostly make sure I get the 10% discount and when I'm feeling on the very pathetic side, it's nice to have someone outside of work call me by my name, it's like I've made a friend in this town. Anyway, I pick up what's in my pull file, Countdown (Which has been a big disappointment. One of the reasons for me buying this comic, Kyle Raynor, hasn't even appeared yet. Darkseid has only appeared once, so far. And there's been way too much Jason Todd. That character was way more important when he was dead. There was no reason for bringing him back except to annoy me. So, what I want to say to Paul Dini and the rest of the crew on Countdown is to bring Darkseid back, use Jimmy Olsen more, ditch Jason Todd, and hurry up with the Giffen layouts.), this week, and then peruse the rest of the new things.
I don't read Previews. I don't go through the monthly solicits for the big two at Newsarama every time they come out. (I will check them when one of the comics blogs I read mentions a cover, but it's not a regular monthly thing for me like it is for so many other comics people on the 'net, though.) Hell, I even avoid reading the Grumpy Old Fan columns on Blog@Newsarama that focus on the solicits which, since Amateur Art Appreciation hasn't been around for a while, is probably my favorite column on Blog@. I like to be surprised when I look. And this week was a good week to be surprised.
The first happy surprise was the latest issue of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 was there. Reading these has been a lot of fun, especially since I finished watching the entire series a couple of weeks ago. The one thing that gets me is that Joss Whedon used Jane Espenson's spin-off idea by bringing back Warren (I remember an interview I saw, or read, as Buffy was working its way off the air where Ms. Espenson was asked if she was asked about doing a Buffy spin-off and she said, "I pitched one idea to Joss. I went in there and said, 'We all know Warren is dead, but what if he wasn't?'" (I'm paraphrasing, there. I can't find a link. And when I Googled most of the Espenson spin-off rumors are around her and Battlestar Galactica.)), although much creepier, since he still doesn't have any skin and Amy's in love with him, which is actually creepier than the no skin thing. Looking forward to the next issue. I wonder which Buffy look-alike it'll be about. Maybe all three?
The next happy surprise was the newest Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane. This book is so wonderful. Every time I read it, I just get the warm fuzzies. And I'm proud to admit that I've been there since the first issue of the first mini, but I am missing some of the earlier issues of this latest series. After two minis, I was confused for a while. For some reason, this series makes me think of Everwood, which is a very good thing. I wish that Marvel would announce what's going to happen when they run out of McKeever written issues. Will DC let him continue? Will Marvel try it with someone else writing? Will it be cancelled for good? Will there ever be another letter column? Anyone?
The ruler of the comics kingdom this week, to me, has got to be Gail Simone. I saw two comics by her, Birds of Prey and Welcome to Tranquility, and I snagged them before I even knew what the cover images were.
I have to admit, although I bought Birds of Prey 100, I never really thought about the comic much. It always struck me as a sort of Batman spin-off staring women, but really written for boys. Sure, I'd read and heard good things about it, but I'm not much of a Bat-fan, so I didn't care much. And then I read about a favorite Giffen/DeMatteis era character showing up in the book, and I had to buy it. It was fun. Eventually, there was Barda beating the crap out of Knockout and that was even better. The only thing that would have improved this issue is if Ice had been asked not only about what Guy would have thought about her behavior, but what Bea would have thought about it because she was just as much of a balancing influence on Bea as she was on Guy, maybe even more so.
The other Simone book, Welcome to Tranquility, is such a hoot. It's one of the best love letters to superhero comics out there. It's about a town where retired superheroes have moved with their, often super powered, families and how the human sheriff and her human deputies try to keep the peace. Five reasons I enjoy it so much: 1. A super speedster with a cane. 2. Emoticon, the grandson of The Typist, has the coolest mask, ever. 3. The Pink Bunny back-up story was a hoot. 4. Minxy Minerva and her solid gold plane. And 5. Zeke and his wonderfully horrible puns about death and other semi-inappropriate things. When I started reading the book, I bought the first five at the same time because I'd been poking around the book since it was released, but I always had plenty in my hands, and then one week I only got a copy of 52 in my file and money burning a hole in my pocket and I'm happy to report that it was worth every penny. If you're not already buying it, you should.
Okay, that's it for now.
If you haven't already, move along.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Pretty Good
For whatever reason, I'm feeling pretty good this afternoon.
I don't know why.
I mean, I had stomach problems earlier, which caused me to be out of the office in a way that I really dislike. I found out that the guy who was in a far away part of the office, but has recently return, has decided to be a snitch and bitch to SUSM (and occasionally the head office in SF) about stupid, and often uncontrollable, things, but he has yet to complain about his cousin, just the rest of us out here. And the wind is high, so sneezing is nearly constant and each blow of the nose leaves a pinkish offering rather than the far less disturbing clear ones.
And, yet, I feel good, almost happy. Maybe happy. Although, I can't say for sure.
Could lack of sleep have something to do with it? I really haven't been sleeping well since I got back from Cowtown. I climb into bed at my usual time and then read until I think I should be done and then I try to sleep, but I haven't been able to fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. (I know that last night I stared at the light patterns that come through the slats of the blinds on the ceiling for at least thirty minutes before I decided to read some more.) In the morning I wake up about ten minutes before my alarm goes off, and I can't sleep. It's not that I have to pee or there's a squealing car or an annoying bird, it's just that I'm awake and not feeling tired.
Ah, well, whatever the reason for it, I think I'll enjoy the goodness of my current feeling as long as it lasts.
I don't know why.
I mean, I had stomach problems earlier, which caused me to be out of the office in a way that I really dislike. I found out that the guy who was in a far away part of the office, but has recently return, has decided to be a snitch and bitch to SUSM (and occasionally the head office in SF) about stupid, and often uncontrollable, things, but he has yet to complain about his cousin, just the rest of us out here. And the wind is high, so sneezing is nearly constant and each blow of the nose leaves a pinkish offering rather than the far less disturbing clear ones.
And, yet, I feel good, almost happy. Maybe happy. Although, I can't say for sure.
Could lack of sleep have something to do with it? I really haven't been sleeping well since I got back from Cowtown. I climb into bed at my usual time and then read until I think I should be done and then I try to sleep, but I haven't been able to fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. (I know that last night I stared at the light patterns that come through the slats of the blinds on the ceiling for at least thirty minutes before I decided to read some more.) In the morning I wake up about ten minutes before my alarm goes off, and I can't sleep. It's not that I have to pee or there's a squealing car or an annoying bird, it's just that I'm awake and not feeling tired.
Ah, well, whatever the reason for it, I think I'll enjoy the goodness of my current feeling as long as it lasts.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Work and Books
SUSM wanted me to box a bunch of files today and actually remembered to not give me any work. I mean, when I got to work this morning my "In" basket was empty. That means she didn't drop anything in it on Friday and she even took out the work that was left there Thursday afternoon. Amazing!
Today, I've filled 75 boxes with about 800 files.
Tomorrow, I'll do another 75 boxes with probably the same number of files.
Elsewhere in my life, a while ago, my mom loaned me this great book called Dead Until Dark. I think I read it in three days. It's sort of a horror/mystery/comedy book and lots of fun. While I was up this weekend, she handed me the next three in the series. I finished the second book (Living Dead in Dallas) last night before I went to sleep and I'm already halfway through the third (Club Dead). So, Mom, since you're reading this, I want to know when you'll be getting the rest of the books. I'll be ready for them, probably, on Saturday. (And in just doing a quick search on Wikipedia, I found out that there's going to be an HBO show based on the books! Hooray!)
Today, I've filled 75 boxes with about 800 files.
Tomorrow, I'll do another 75 boxes with probably the same number of files.
Elsewhere in my life, a while ago, my mom loaned me this great book called Dead Until Dark. I think I read it in three days. It's sort of a horror/mystery/comedy book and lots of fun. While I was up this weekend, she handed me the next three in the series. I finished the second book (Living Dead in Dallas) last night before I went to sleep and I'm already halfway through the third (Club Dead). So, Mom, since you're reading this, I want to know when you'll be getting the rest of the books. I'll be ready for them, probably, on Saturday. (And in just doing a quick search on Wikipedia, I found out that there's going to be an HBO show based on the books! Hooray!)
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