I don't do the whole internet community thing like, well, nearly everyone else out there. I don't join in. I don't hop into conversations on blogs that I like to read. I don't try to rile things up in the comments at news sites. And I rarely read anything at message boards and never post on them.
Which brings me to an hour or so ago.
There's this blog that I've been reading for a long time. (It used to be listed off to the right, but when the blogger started updating only once or twice a month, I decided to take it off because people very few people read archives to learn if each blog post is worth it, they are, but I digress.) Last year, the author of the blog started dating a guy and she decided not to tell him about her blog because she didn't want to freak him out/she wanted them to get to know each other together rather than over the 'net. In January, one of her other readers asked her how he feels about her writing about him on her blog. She said that she hadn't told him about her blog. (And she really hasn't written a lot about him. Just a bit about their first date and something about going for coffee and him helping when she was sick and how much she likes him. That's all that I can remember.) And she wrote that she wasn't going to tell him about her blog.
At the time, I freaked out a little bit. I wrote a long reply about how she should trust him and tell him about her blog and ask him not to look at it because a silly little thing like an online journal can turn into a stupid-assed big thing if it's kept a secret for a long time and then is discovered by the person who never heard about it. After I finished writing it, I refreshed the comments and read that most of them were telling her to keep keeping it a secret. So, I deleted my comment and didn't write anything at all. She doesn't know me. (Although she did drop by at least once and comment, but that was nearly a year ago now and I'm pretty sure that I'm not on her daily, weekly, or monthly web-crawl.) I only know her through the little bits she's put online. Why would she want to read a dissenting comment on her blog from someone she doesn't know when there are people who she knows commenting and telling her to stay the course? I wouldn't listen to me.
This morning, she posted something new and once again said something about how her boyfriend doesn't know about her blog (If he does know, apparently he hasn't mentioned it to her.) and I wrote another comment about why I think she should at least tell him about it. And I actually posted it.
And now I feel like an asshole for doing it. I keep thinking I should go back and delete the comment before anyone out there reads it. But I also keep thinking that I'm right. I hardly ever feel like I'm right about anything. I feel bad about posting it. If I delete it, I'll feel bad about that. I think I'd rather feel bad while thinking I did the right thing, though.
Damn, the rules of internet courtesy just get harder and harder every day.
4 comments:
You are a guy and you know how you would feel about something like that happening to you. So I don't see a problem with you stating you opinion. If a person doesn't want anyone else's opinion, then they need to
1. Not allow comments
OR
2. Not post private stuff.
I know all of that. I still feel like a jackass, though.
just because you don't agree with her, doesn't make you a jackass. You're entitled to have your opinion on the matter, and since she posts her stuff on the internet, she just has to live with the fact that not everyone will yell horray about her writing. Otherwise, she should just keep a regular diary and hide it under her bed.
Just for the record, I think she should tell him, too.
I don't tell ppl I don't know very well about my blog, but I would definitly tell a boyfriend or a friend. Especially if they were in it. It only seems fair.
There's nothing to feel like a jackass about.
God knows I've had dissenting comments on my blog for some things I've said and honestly? I welcome another point of view. And I don't think any worse about those people just because we don't agree on something. If I didn't welcome comments I would have disabled them.
And for the record - I think you're right. I didn't tell Mr. Jazz when I started my blog, but as soon as it became evident that it would be a regular thing, I did. It's not a journal, it's a blog, it's public... I see no reason to hide it.
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