A Letter

Dear People Who Own a Dog and Live In a City,

I understand that you like dogs. I do. If their trained, they can be great companions. I get it. I may not personally want to own a dog, but I understand the attraction.

The problem is that in a city, even a relatively small and spread out city like this one, dogs have a hard life. They're kept inside an apartment all day with no hope of escape to release all their pent up energy until you get home and take it out for a walk. (You do take it out for a walk, don't you?) On the walk, the dog will have to release its bowels. (Unless you like your dog to do its business inside. On your shoes, maybe?) And you, being tired and not really wanting to take the dog on a walk, but do it because otherwise you'd be a bad pet owner, let the dog shit anywhere it decides to squat down, like in the middle of the sidewalk.

I understand not wanting to pick up a fresh and steaming tootsie roll you dog just squeezed out. It's disgusting even though a plastic bag. I know that pooper scoopers cost money that you don't really have and when you go to the store you think more about you want for yourself than you do about what you should have when you own a dog and what could keep your community clean.

I know all this and I don't expect you to change drastically.

All I really want you to do is, when you notice your dog start to bear down to drop a log, pull it off the side walk. If there are plants to one side, yank the dog there. Otherwise, why not have it crap in the gutter off the curb?

I'm really good at watching the sidewalk as I cruise to and from work and I don't step in your dog's shit. Still, I don't like it there. I shouldn't have to be watching for the occasional pile, puddle, or trail of little treats left by your dog just because you have to have one and can't buy a house with a yard in which the dog can stay all day shitting until it's completely empty.

Thanks.