I sat on my usual bench at lunch time reading The Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul when I head a voice coming from behind asking, "What book you readin'?"
I looked up and turned around. It was some guy, maybe eighteen, maybe younger. "What?" I asked.
"What's the book?" he asked, walking toward.
"It's a Douglas Adams book," I said because I figured that if he knew who Douglas Adams was he'd understand the limited choices and then pleasantly surprised that it wasn't a Hitchhiker book.
"Who wrote it?" he asked, almost on top of me.
"Douglas Adams wrote it."
"What's the title?" He leaned over my shoulder as I stuck my thumb in the book and turned it so he could see the cover. There was another guy off to my right coming closer.
"The--," I said.
"The. Long. Dark. Tea..." he read off the cover. "What's it about?"
"It's about this detective and Thor and lots of craziness," I said.
"Any good?" he asked.
"It's--," I said.
"Do you have a dollar?" asked his friend, who had stopped a few steps away from the bench.
"Nope," I said, "I just have me and my book here." I sort of waved the book toward him.
"'Cause I really need a dollar," said the friend.
"Sorry, it's just--," I said.
"Are you gay?" asked the first guy.
I turned to really look at him. He looked Hispanic, short hair (probably a buzz at one time), a pooched out stomach, and one front tooth that was at least a quarter of an inch shorter than the other. And I was wondered, was he propositioning me?
"Not," I said, smiling at him, "to the best of my knowledge."
"So," he crinkled his forehead, "you like girls?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Good," he said, "you keep that up. But work on you voice."
I gave him my best what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about look as he started to walk away.
"If you don't make it more manly," he said, from farther away, "people might think you're queer."
"Oooooo-kaaaaay," I said as I rolled my eyes and turned away to start reading my book again.
"Look into that," he called back.
5 comments:
Oh, yes, that's it! It is all in the voice!
Real brainiacs there.
you should have given him a sad look and told him that it was a book on how to deal with having some horrible, or something. That would probably send most idiots running.
the moooooo, That's what I was thinking.
Choochoo, Actually, knowing that someone doesn't know who Douglas Adams is tells me alot more than their reaction to me telling them I have chlamydia or something.
They don't know Douglas ADAMS!!!!
Brainiacs indeed! Pfft.
Oh, and remember that amazing must read book? The Gaiman/Pratchett one? I FORGOT IT IN WASHINGTON!!!!
My cousin's supposed to mail it to me but I'm in witdrawal now...
Jazz, that's what I thought!
And as for the book, I'll tell you all about it:
After the part where you stopped reading, stuff happens. Some funny. I remember laughing.
Eventually the book ends and you'll close it up and put it on a shelf. Unless you borrowed from somewhere, in which case you'll return it.
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